Total Drama Again
by CamperThirteen
Summary: A goofy parody of TDI loaded with geeky references. Romance, humor, chaos, rivalries, alliances, and plenty of drama ensue.
1. Day 1, Part I

Disclaimer: I don't own TDI or TDA. If I did, TDA would be a _lot_ better. And Noah would be in it.

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**Total Drama Again**

**_~by CamperThirteen (AKA Emaena)_**

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**Day 1, Part I**

**The Obligatory Meeting of the Campers**

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The camera zoomed in on a handsome, yet tired-looking face. Chris Mclain's smile seemed more force than ever, and even his voice lacked the enthusiasm of previous seasons as he said, "Welcome to Total... Drama... AGAIN!" He kept smiling unnaturally, until the muscles of his jaw gave in. Then he shook his head. "Why do I keep doing these seasons again?"

Someone threw a large bag with a dollar sign painted on it, which the host catched in a movement that reminded one of a hungry dog catching a steak in mid-air.

"This season will feature a brand-new cast of troubled teenagers stabbing each other in the back over a prize they'll never get if there's a sequel," Chris winked, his energy restored now. "But let's not get ahead of ourselves."

He walked down the infamous Dock of Shame, which was now missing several chunks of wood at various points. The waters beneath were even more contaminated than before, with large pieces of unidentifiable objects floating on the surface. Still, Chris seemed unperturbed as he looked to the horizon, grinning.

"And here comes our first camper, who was recently discharged from both a mental institution and juvie... Brian!"

The camera focused on an approaching boat that looked like it was going to break down at any minute, and on the tall guy who jumped off it. His bare head shone under the sun, making the snake tattoo in his skull glow black and green by turns, as if it were moving.

Brian's black eyes narrowed as they took in his surroundings. "This does _not_ look like it did on TV," he grumbled.

"Nothing ever does. Plus, the island has seen too many seasons, and too many new contestants..."

"But you've only been on TV for a couple of years."

"Strange, I know. Anyway, here's our second camper! She doesn't come from a mental institution, though something tells me we'll all be hoping she goes to one after the show ends. Here's... Olivia!"

A pale girl with an air of detachment climbed off the boat and remained glued to the spot, looking lost. She had wavy black hair and heavily-lidded eyes, and was wearing a navy-blue blouse with black shorts.

"Um, Olivia?" Chris asked after a few seconds. Nothing. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Olivia?"

Brian put a hand in his shoulder. "Leave it to me," he said, an evil look in his eyes. "EARTH TO FREAK, ARE YOU THERE? 'CAUSE THE CAMERA'S OVER HERE!"

Olivia turned around instantly, her dreamy look replaced by one of surprise, and then by one of pure anger. "You don't have to yell! And who are _you_ calling a freak, Baldie?" She smirked, looking at Brian up and down. "Talking to your reflection, are you?"

Chris inhaled deeply. "Ahh, the drama. Can you smell it? I sure can," he sighed. "Smells like cash."

"You're disgusting," Brian told the host. "I like that."

Olivia shot him a nasty look, but before she could even open her mouth, Chris cut her off by saying, "I'm sure you were about to say something very interesting, Olivia, but I really couldn't care less. And besides, here comes our next contestant!"

Effectively, a pale, thin girl with blue neon streaks running down her straight brown hair was getting ready to jump off the boat... on top of a skateboard?

"That would be Jessica," Chris said. He then proceeded to use his hand as a visor. "What does her top say now? Born... to–"

Not a second after he had uttered those words, Jessica landed on the dock and skateboarded her way into Chris. The host's eyes widened in horror as he realized what was about to happen to him and his precious face, and in a matter of seconds, he landed unceremoniously on the floor, at the very same moment Jessica dodged the place where he had just been standing. She turned around and smirked, leaving no doubt about the nature of the 'accident.'

"...Prank," Jessica finished for him, pointing proudly at the blue neon letters on her tight black top.

"Well, _that_ was uncalled for. I hadn't even said anything mean to you yet!" Chris protested.

"Emphasis on the 'yet'," Brian said, loud enough for only the girls to hear him. Jess laughed openly, while Olivia fought against the smile that was coming to her lips.

"Isn't anyone going to help me get up?"

"I wouldn't count on it," Olivia said. Jessica snickered before shaking her hand, taking her by surprise.

"Name's Jess."

"Mine's Olivia," the other girl replied.

Jess then tried to shake Brian's hand, but the alleged psycopath backed off like she had the plague. Olivia sniffed, "Ignore Baldie here, he's just a creep."

Instead of ignoring Brian, who was about to say something very nasty to Olivia, Jess turned to him with a very serious look on her face.

"Wow, are you really bald?" she asked him bluntly.

"O-Of course not! I just shaved my head! Geez!"

Apparently an intern had helped Chris get on his feet, because while the three teenagers were getting to know each other, the sound of the boat delivering the fourth contestant came. He was a tan-skinned boy with a tall black mohawk ending in red tips that seemed to match his red studded earrings. To top it off, he had a hoop lip piercing, a KISS tee, and was carrying a guitar.

"Oh, he's a musician!" Olivia whispered excitedly to Jess.

"Nice observation skills," Brian scoffed. "What gave it away? The t-shirt or the guitar?"

"So what?" Jess asked Olivia, in the hopes that she hadn't heard Brian. Apparently she hadn't, because she was eyeing the musician with her hands clasped together near her mouth.

"So what? So plenty! Everyone knows musicians are artists. And artists have _sensitive_ souls. I bet he has a whole repertoire of romantic songs! Isn't that just dreamy?"

Jess rolled her eyes, while Brian pretended to gag.

Meanwhile, the musician headed in their direction, his cool brown eyes studying their faces politely. "Hi, I'm Mozart. You can call me Mo."

Brian snorted. "Your name's Mozart?"

"Shut it, Baldie!" Olivia threatened, then turned to Mo with a kind smile. "I think Mozart is a great name. Very unique."

"He's just jealous of you 'cause you have hair," Jess said before she could stop herself.

Mo cocked an eyebrow at the two girls, but to Brian he just said, "Wicked tattoo, man."

Brian actually deigned to lift the corners of his mouth up, forming an almost-smile. "Thanks. Wicked mohawk."

Jess and Olivia exchanged indignated looks at how easily the guys had just broken the ice.

"And speaking of wicked," Chris said, "here's... Chelsea!"

In a flash of red and black, the new camper threw her bags, which landed on Chris, hitting him squarely in the face.

"Sorry, dude," Chelsea said, landing easily on the dock and looking like she wasn't sorry at all. Like most of the other campers, she sported an unusual hairstyle, with left side bangs dyed red ending in yellow tips. She wore a black hoodie, skinny jeans, and white DCs with drawings all over them. She had several piercings, some of them with flame designs. "Hi, I'm Chelsea."

The other campers grinned at her, clearly pleased by what she had done to Chris. Then Mo said, "I almost feel sorry for Chris." Everyone shot him incredolous looks, even Olivia. The musician shrugged. "_Almost_."

"I'm awfully sorry to interrupt this wonderful bonding moment, but we have another camper coming in!" Chris said, annoyed. "Since you enjoy games so much, let's see how you like our next camper. Give it up for... River!"

The boat delivered a pale, thin boy with shaggy black hair and a simple outfit consisting of a white t-shirt with black sleeves, worn blue jeans, and black hi-top Converse. His ocean blue eyes were fixed on his handheld game. He didn't even look at the other contestants, and after a quick scan of the camp, he concluded, "This place looks like a rejected scene from Donkey Kong."

"...Whatever that means," said Jess under her breath, causing Mo to laugh softly. The girl blushed, River looked annoyed, and Olivia looked indignant.

"Afraid she's going to steal Prince Charming from your claws, Drama Queen?" Brian asked Olivia teasingly. This time she didn't bother to reply. Instead, she just smacked him.

While Brian brushed his arm, another camper arrived. This time it was a more normal-looking girl, short, with shoulder length straight black hair, sideswept bangs, and white bow clips on the middle left side of her hair. She had a light tan complxion that contrasted nicely with her white-collared, long-sleeved shirt with cuffs with a black vest. On the collar of the shirt was a black and white striped tie. She wore a gray, black, and white plaid skirt with white knee high socks and black Mary Janes.

"This would be Maylene," Chris introduced. He offered his hand to help her out of the boat, but Maylene looked at it like it was a poisonous snake.

"I can get out by myself, thank you very much," she said coldly. "Being a woman is not a handicap, you know."

"The Feminist character," River commented. "How original."

If Maylene had heard him, she gave no sign of it. She just smiled at the other campers and said, "Nice to meet you all. You can call me May if you want."

"Finally, a sane person!" Chris said. "Well, sort-of-sane, anyway."

The campers all glared at Chris. Mo took out a switch blade, while Chelsea flicked a Zipper lighter on and off. Brian just laughed like a maniac.

"Oh yeah, we're all _super sane_ here," River said, rolling his eyes.

The menacing glares turned to him.

"Tell me, _Dorky King_," Chelsea smiled, "do you like fire?" She flicked her lighter on, dangerously close to River's DS.

Before she could do anything, however, Maylene put herself between them and tried to calm them down. "Hey, hey, he was just joking, right?" She looked at River expectantly.

"Yeah. Absolutely. Ha-ha."

"Oh, I _totally_ believe him now," Olivia said sarcastically.

"What I can't believe is that you need a girl to defend you," Brian laughed.

This time the glares turned on him, including Maylene's. Mo and River backed away slowly. "What was that?" Maylene whispered.

"While you guys were busy fighting, the boat delivered two new campers! Please welcome... Aaron and Kat!" Chris announced, gesturing towards a tall guy and a small girl. The guy was clearly a jock; he was wearing a white headband over his spiky red hair, and his blue eyes scanned everything confidently. The girl, on the other hand, seemed to be very shy, judging from the way she kept tugging the loose strands of her short brown hair behind her ears. She wore skinny jeans and a black cardigan with a teal tank top under it.

"Aaron and Kat," Aaron said teasingly, "I like the sound of that." He winked at Kat, who blushed so furiously her freckles seemed to blend with her skin.

"Leave the poor girl alone, you pervert," Chelsea started, pulling Kat away from the jock. "Don't worry, hun, I won't let him hurt you."

Kat seemed unsure of what to say, but when she saw Aaron's mouth open to protest, she gathered her courage and thanked Chelsea. Chelsea smiled at her, and then stuck her tongue at Aaron.

The jock seemed offended for a second, but he shrugged it off quickly. He walked towards the guys and greeted them with high-fives. "That girl digs me," she confided to them.

"Sure, dude, if that's what you wanna believe," Chris said. "But if you don't mind, we have another camper coming!"

Olivia groaned loudly. "Why can't that stupid boat just bring us all together and be done with it?" she asked.

"Yeah, it's like an overly-long intro sequence in a videogame," River added.

"Okay, I am _so_ burning that game of his now!" Chelsea said, taking out her lighter as if she were drawing out a gun.

All the campers gasped, and Kat jumped from her side, only to collapse against Aaron's chest, who was more than delighted to keep her there. The brief moment of panic ended abruptly with Jessica's hysterical scream:

"Nobody's burning anything here!"

This time, everyone stared at her.

"Sorry, I hate fire."

"Really?" Aaron asked, smiling seductively in Chelsea's direction. "'Cause I love it."

Chelsea narrowed her eyes, only to open them again when she realized Aaron was keeping Kat hostage.

While they fought over Kat, Maylene began to rant about sexism and objectification of women, using Aaron as an example, and never noticing Brian was mimicking her with his hand. Olivia grew so bored she started watching what River was playing on his DS, forgetting to keep an eye on Mo, who was talking to Jess about music.

"What are they all doing?" the new camper, who had been standing there for a couple of minutes without being noticed, asked Chris.

"Why, sending the ratings to the roof, of course. Wait..." Chris had been too busy using the extra time to powder his nose, and had also failed to notice the new arrivals. He was shocked to discover three new teenagers standing there. Dominic, the one who had spoken to him, was a big jock with dirty blond hair and many freckles under his green eyes. The other two were girls, and they seemed more intent on observing the other campers than on observing Chris. Chris did not like that. "Um, _hello_! Handsome host here!"

"Right!" squealed Laura, a long-legged girl with straight shoulder length hair and a royal purple tunic dress with black leggins underneath, her brown eyes sparkling. "Will you be my best friend?"

"And I thought _I_ was insane," Brian commented.

"You know, for once, I actually agree with you," Olivia said.

"Guys, this is Laura–"

"Hi everyone! You can call me Larrie."

"Don't interrupt me," Chris said, narrowing his eyes.

"Sorry," Laura apologised, looking a little intimidated.

"Don't be, gorgeous," Aaron said, putting his arm around the girl's shoulders. "If that guy gives you a hard time, you can count on me," he winked.

Chelsea rolled his eyes and scoffed, "Unbelievable!"

"Aw, don't be jealous, babe."

"Don't make me burn you, _babe_."

The girl that had yet to be introduced but had been watching everything intently grinned. Her skin was mildly tan, her eyes hazel, and her long, wavy golden hair was tied in a side ponytail. She had an athletic body, and she wore a hot pink juicy couture tracksuit with a white vest top underneath.

"Such matchmaking potential!" the girl said.

"Guys, this is Phoebe," Chris introduced her. "And this big guy here is Dominic, AKA Fox."

River shuddered a little at the sight of the jock. Jess made clucking noises, much to Mo's amusement and therefore, Olivia's annoyance.

At that moment, the boat delivered another boy. He tripped with his own luggage, and had to be helped up by Maylene and Dominic.

"Thanks," he said, scratching the back of his head apologetically. He had grey eyes and shaggy, mousy brown hair, and was wearing baggy white jeans and a red t-shirt with a black bat on the front.

"Klutzenko!" Chris said. "Welcome!"

"Thanks, Chris, but my name is Topher."

"Whatever, dude. Hey, look who's here! It's the Kellinator!"

"Did he suddenly decide to give us nicknames or something?" Mo asked.

The Kellinator jumped off the boat in an astounding pirouette, and landed elegantly on the dock. She was a girl with curly blond hair with purple streaks that seemed to match her bright yellow shorts and her v-neck purple shirt. She looked at her surroundings with a huge smile, her head spinning around so quickly one feared she was going to break her neck.

"Wow! This is amazing! A real camp, with fake dirt and everything!"

"Yes... Fake dirt," Chris coughed uncomfortably. "Totally fake."

"Oh, hi Chris! It's so nice to meet you! And hi you guys! I'm Kelly!"

"And _I_ don't want to be on whatever team she's on," Olivia muttered, but her words were muffled by the sound of the boat arriving yet again.

"Hello there, Evan!"

Evan didn't seem to have heard Chris. He adjusted his blue-rimmed glasses and looked around, his mouth slightly open. He was a skinny, tan, and fairly short boy, with messy brown hair that was crowned by a blue French hat.

"I said hello there, Evan!" Chris repeated, a little louder this time.

"Oh, sorry Chris. Didn't see you there."

"How are those glasses working out for ya?" Dominic joked.

"They work fine, why do you ask?"

"Talk about missing the point," Kat said in a low voice.

"Geez, will you shut up and let me host the show for once?" Chris started, causing everyone to jump in surprise. "Thanks. Now welcome our..." He squinted his eyes, "...two final contestants? Coming on the boat of losers?"

"You want to borrow my glasses, Chris?"

"Like I said, Evan, shut up and let me host my show! Thank you. Now, it looks like Connor and Chef are here!"

Effectively, this time the boat that arrived was not the almost broken yacht that had delivered the other contestants, but a small fisher's boat. Chef Hatchett stepped down, followed by a skinny boy with muscular arms, green eyes, and short brown hair. Connor smiled at the other contestants, then at the camp, until he found Chris.

"Awesome place, dude! Will there be planes this season too? I'm hoping to jump off one."

"Oh, I don't know about the planes, Connor, but there will certainly be some jumping this season," Chris smiled brightly. He turned to Chef, "What the hell happened to the yacht, man?"

"Broke down. Told ya we had to buy a new one!"

"And I told you, it's a new yacht, or another season with a deluxe camp for ourselves," Chris sighed. The other campers looked at each other, then glared at Chris. He ignored them pointedly. "Anyway, campers, since I know you're very tired from this ridiculously long introduction, I'll let you go to the confession cabin in peace."

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_**Confession Camera – Welcoming Yet Another Cast of New Campers**_

**Brian:** Man, this reeks worse than juvie and the loony house's restroom combined. All the campers are a bunch of whiners so far, except maybe Mo and Chelsea. And that Olivia chick? Man, and I thought my psychiatrist was annoying! Oh, and for the record, I am _not_ bald. You got that?

**Olivia**: *staring at the ceiling for several seconds* Mo is so dreamy... *looks at the camera, her detached look gone from her face* Unlike _certain_ people. *coughs* _Brian!_ *coughs*

**Jessica**: I don't want to be all girly and start complaining about the smell, but... *her face turns green* boy, does this place stink! Anywho, I don't know what's Olivia's damage, but she's been giving me the cold shoulder ever since Mo laughed at some joke I made. *blushes* Whatever. It's not like I like the dude or anything. *is still blushing* What? I don't!

**Mo:** I used to live in the streets, and let me tell you, I never smelled something like _this_ there. *plucks the strings of his guitar absent-mindedly* The other campers are okay, I guess. Jessica is really cool. She told me she plays the guitar, which is awesome, because I didn't think there'd be other musicians here.

**Chelsea:** *flicking her Zippo lighter on and off* I don't mind that this place is a dump. Beats juvie any day. But the people? Not so much. That Aaron dude seriously creases me. And River? I swear, if he makes another dorky video-game reference, I'll set his game on fire.

**River:** *playing with his DS, not averting his eyes from the screen as he talks* I'm sure my chances of winning are pretty high. The game seems easy enough for an expert like me to handle; I have already planned a few strategies, plus the other players don't seem that strong. But still, it never hurts to keep an eye on them to get a clear idea of what their stats are.

**Maylene: **Everyone better treat me and the rest of the girls equally, or I'll sue the show for being sexist. This is my chance to send out a feminist message to the world, to make a difference. And hopefully change the guys mindsets as well. That Aaron fellow is _the_ example of the Alpha Male. I'm sure he's a sexist pig.

**Aaron**: *whistles* So Aaron the Wild has been let loose in a stinky island with eight hot chicks. This is gonna be fun. It's only been a day and I have already swept Fire-Bombshell _and_ Kitty-Kat off their feet!

**Kat**: *covering her nose* Oh my God, this place is disgusting! Please tell me they've been disinfected since last season. No, scratch that. Please tell me they've been disinfected, _period_. I have to sketch this, it's unbelievable...

**Topher:** I'm really excited about this. Well, it may not be exactly paradisiac, and some of the people may be a little scary... but still, it'll be OK! ...As long as they don't let me near any sharp objects. *bites his lip* I'm afraid of accidentally killing someone.

**Kelly**: This place is amazing! I just can't get over how awesome this is. Every time I turn around I find something incredible! I'm already looking forward to all the friends I'll make here. And I don't mean just the humans, but the animals as well! You know I can talk to animals? *nods* Mh-hm. Yeah. I speak _Animalish_. I guess that's why my psychiatrist said people don't get me.

**Evan**: *he's looking at the ceiling, apparently lost in thought* What was I here for again?

**Phoebe**: Oh, there's so much matchmaking potential here! I can just _tell_ that Olivia is dying to be with Brian. And Chelsea and Aaron? Those two will be a piece of cake. I really hope I can find my true love here, too...

**Dominic**: I know everyone's kinda scared of me because I'm a jock, but I'm going to prove them I'm not like those bullies you see on TV. Some of the other guys seem to be bullies, though. Those are the ones I'm worried about. I just hope they don't make me do anything mean.

**Connor**: Woohoo! I can't wait for the first challenge! That's one of the main reasons I wanted to be here. There are so many opportunities to practise some real dangerous stuff! *his face lights up* Hey, maybe they'll make us jump off a cliff like they did first season!

**Laura**: I wonder if there's a way to find out what the others have said in here... *she fusses with the camera, which focuses on random objects in the cabin as she moves it around. Then everything turns black.*

**Chris**: Someone messed with the confession camera, so we had to _buy_ a new one. Can you believe it? My salary better not suffer from this!

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NEXT TIME: The first challenge will feature flags and Boney Island. Stay tuned!

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Author's Note: So here's the first, extremely long chapter. Hopefully you got a clear idea of who's who here.

Here are the pairings I have in mind, based on this chapter and on the character's personalities and preferences, but they can change in time and/or if you want to.

Olivia X Mo X Jess (love triangle)

Chelsea X Kat X Aaron (love triangle)

Evan X Phoebe

Olivia X Brian X May X River (love square)

Kat X Dominic

Laura X Topher

Kelly X Connor

Also providing a list of the characters.

**The Girls**

Olivia, The Drama Queen

Jessica, The Skateboarding Prankster

Chelsea, The Pyromaniac Delinquent

Maylene (May), The Feminist Goody-Two-Shoes

Kat (Kitty), The Shy Artist

Kelly (The Kellinator), The Talkative Crazy One

Phoebe, The Matchmaker

Laura (Larrie), The Gossiper Queen Bee

**The Boys**

Brian, The Psycho Criminal

Mozart (Mo), The Laid Back Rock Star

River, The Gamer

Aaron, The Casanova

Dominic (Fox), The Nice Jock

Topher, The Klutz

Evan, The Spacey Artist

Connor, Adrenaline Devil

**Reviews are love. They earn you karma points! Truefax.**


	2. Day 1, Part II

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, except Brian and Olivia. The other characters belong to their respective creators. Chris belongs to Satan.

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**Total Drama Again**

**_~by CamperThirteen (AKA Emaena)_**

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**Day 1, Part II**

**Sixteen teens, Eight flags, One challenge**

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After every camper had finished introducing themselves to each other and to the audience via wacky interactions and the confession camera, and once the crew had taken a break for lunch, Chris made them all gather at the centre of the camp. The campers looked at the two cabins longingly. As shabby and filthy as they appeared, the promise of a little rest was more tempting than a healthy place to stay.

It was midday, and the sun was shining high above their heads when Chris made his very important announcement.

"And since we don't wanna waste any money – I mean, _time_ – the first challenge will start right now!"

If the campers disliked him before, there was no doubt they hated him now.

"_What?_" they all gasped.

"But we haven't eaten anything yet!" Jess protested.

"Yeah, Chris, ever heard of a little thing called _lunch_?" Olivia growled.

"Look, dude, I'd love to start doing the dangerous stuff, but even I need some fuel," said Connor.

"You'll eat after you finish the challenge. Now–"

"But!" Maylene started, her finger up in the air, "the contract clearly states that we can't participate in a challenge until the teams have been decided–"

"Funny you should mention that. You see, this challenge will help determine who ends up in which team. You see those canoes over there?"

They all saw them, and immediately wished they hadn't. The so-called 'canoes' appeared to be made out of chopsticks and glue.

"You mean those..." Dominic struggled to come up with a good definition, but all he could say was, "things?"

"I've seen better rides in first-generation videogames," River commented, not looking particularly concerned. He didn't even see the annoyed look Chelsea was giving him, or the fact that she was about to take out her lighter until Kat stopped her in time.

"Whoa, they look really _unsafe,_" Connor said. Then he grinned. "Awesome."

"I know, right?" Kelly said excitedly. "Maybe there will even be rocks in the way and stuff! That'd be super awesome."

"Yeah, and waterfalls and sharks," Connor agreed, grinning almost as wildly as Kelly herself. "That'd be extra awesome!"

"Awesome?" Laura gaped at them, unable to believe what she had just heard. She gulped as she looked at the boats again. "Okay, forget safety, can they at least float?" She looked doubtful.

"Not sure about the safety part, but they do float." Chris smiled, shrugging the silly campers' worries off. "And don't interrupt me. Ever. Anyway, you'll be paddling your canoes that are most certainly _canoes_, all the way across the lake to the scary, terrifying, and extremely dangerous..." He made a dramatic pause, while Chef put some creepy music on, "..._Boney Island_."

The campers blinked. Somewhere, a cricket could be heard.

"It's Boney Island, people! What's wrong with you? Are you not hearing the creepy music?"

"Sorry, the name just sounds ridiculous," Brian said, crossing his arms with a smug expression on his face.

"Well, you won't be thinking so when you meet the man-eating animals we have there. Or the ninjas."

Topher raised an eyebrow. "Ninjas?"

"Yup. Leftovers from first season. Oh, and did I mention that the island is _cursed_? Bet you don't wanna go there now."

"Oh, I don't wanna go... in those things!" Maylene said, pointing to the boats like they were charged with explosives.

"Well, you have to. You signed a contract, remember? Once you get there, all that's left for you to do is find a flag and bring it back with you. There are eight flags, which means that you and whomever you sail with will be on the same team. Awesome, huh?"

"Only if our boats don't sink," Kat said, biting her lip.

"Don't worry, Kitty, if that happens I'll save you," Aaron assured her. Grabbing her by the shoulder, he pressed her tightly against his chest. "But in order to save you, I'll need to be close to you–"

"Let go of her, you pervert!" Chelsea cut him off, shoving her lighter right to his face. "Unless you want your pretty face burned," she threatened.

"Aww, you think I'm pretty?"

"Oh, you'll certainly look pretty... when I set you on fire!"

"Guys, please," Kat intervened, "cut it out. Chelsea, I'll sail with you, OK? Now please stop fighting."

"And please, please, for the love of all things good, don't set anything on fire!" Jess added pleadingly.

While Jess was busy worrying, Olivia smiled and looked in Mo's direction.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – It Makes You Wanna Confess**_

**Olivia**: Yes! There's no way I'm going to waste an opportunity to get into the same team as Mo. I'd rather get mauled by bears! *suddenly looks worried* Crap. I hope I haven't given the producer people any ideas.

* * *

Olivia walked towards Mo in such a quiet fashion that when she spoke, the poor rock star jumped. "Wanna sail with me, Mo?"

"Um..." He hesitated, trying to come up with an excuse. Then he saw Jess approaching. "I already promised Jessica I'd sail with her. Sorry."

"You did?" Jessica asked him, looking genuinely surprised. "When?"

"Just now," Mo replied quickly, before taking her arm and dragging her to one of the canoes.

Olivia looked so crestfallen, Aaron sensed it and saw his opportunity.

"Don't worry, Liv, this knight in shining armor has arrived to save you."

"But I don't want 'this knight in shining armor'!" Olivia cried, stomping her foot like a little girl, "I want Mo!"

Aaron put his hands up in the air, declaring the case closed, and went to look for another damsel in distress. Preferably, one that wasn't so distressing herself.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Interrupting The Story To Let You Know What The Campers Really Think**_

**Mo**: I know it may look like I was mean to Olivia, but in my defense... Okay, I'd totally do it again.

**Jessica**: One of the things I like about myself is my honesty... But boy, that sure was the wrong time to be honest!

**Aaron**: I like all sorts of girls, sure, but I've discovered there's one type of chick even I can't stand – and that is Olivia. You'd think she'd appreciate a little help, considering how nobody else will put up with her, but noooo. Zero appreciation, man. Zero appreciation.

* * *

"So you like Mo?" Laura, who had been following the entire exchange, finally decided to speak up.

"But he's in love with Jessica," Phoebe pointed out.

"Oh, yeah, he's sooo in love. After knowing her for a full two hours and all," Olivia said, rolling her eyes.

"Well, _obviously_ it was love at first sight."

"Obviously," River said. Olivia snickered.

"Hey, you two should go together!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"What?" River even looked up from his DS, too disconcerted to even pause the game. Both he and Olivia looked at Phoebe like she had just declared the sky was green and the grass was blue.

Phoebe only nodded wisely. "Yup. It will make your true loves totally jealous, believe me."

River and Olivia exchanged a look. "Our true loves?" they repeated.

"Of course. Now go. I'll make sure they see you."

"Who's 'they'?" Laura asked curiously.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Starting to Get Really Annoying**_

**Laura**: I'm not a gossip. I just have an inquisitive mind.

**Phoebe**: I have a sixth sense – a Matchmaking sense. I can practically _smell _when two people have chemistry. And Olivia, River, Maylene, and Brian just reek of it.

* * *

"I'll tell you if you paddle with me. Then we can talk about finding _your_ true love," Phoebe replied to Laura, who smiled at her.

Olivia and River exchanged yet another look.

"Let's just go," Olivia said. "She's starting to scare me."

"Yeah, me too."

"But just so you know, this doesn't mean anything. I'm only doing this to make Mo jealous."

"And it's working. Just look at the poor guy! You can tell he wants to kill me."

They both looked at Mo, who was helping Jessica get on the canoe. When he caught their eyes, he smiled slightly and waved at them.

"I better run for my life now," River said.

Olivia's very eloquent reply consisted of smacking him with her paddle.

* * *

Meanwhile, Brian, Dominic, Topher, and Aaron had gotten themselves into a tricky situation when they all started fighting over who'd get to paddle with the only girl who was left, since Kelly had just taken off with Connor. Naturally, this had resulted in Maylene ranting about how she was not a prize to be won.

"And just because I'm a girl," she was saying, "it does not mean I need a guy's help. Why you should ever think that is beyond me–"

"Can't you just let it go and pick one of us already?" Brian said, exasperated. "In case you haven't noticed, this is a challenge, woman, not a contest over who delivers the most boring rant in the history of boring rants. If that were the case, you would have already won."

Maylene turned her back to Brain, shaking with rage.

"Well, I guess we know who's _not_ going with her now," Topher said. Brian sent him a death glare that could have melted an iceberg.

"That's right. I'm going with... this guy," Maylene pointed at Evan, the only one who had not fought over her. He actually didn't seem to know there was a challenge going on, as he was too busy drawing something in his sketchpad.

Dominic sighed and turned to Aaron with a friendly smile. "Wanna go together, man?"

"Let's see... No hot chicks in sight..." He let out a long sigh. "No choice then. Let's go."

Topher smiled uncomfortably at Brian. "So, um, about what I said before–"

"Oh, don't worry about it, man. Everything's cool."

"It is?"

"Sure. There's nothing to worry about. After all, I'm only an ex-convict with a mental disease and an unpredictable behavior."

Topher gulped.

* * *

Surprisingly, it turned out Chris had been telling the truth: the boats could float. Sure, there were a few splinters here and there, and the occasional posionous spider, but other than that they were completely safe.

That is, until they arrived to Boney Island.

"Look, it's a giant skull!" Kelly said. She wondered who it belonged to.

"Thanks for telling us, Captain Obvious," River said. He was in a really bad mood because Olivia had made him put his DS in his pocket, and he felt almost naked without it.

"Yeah, we couldn't have figured that out by ourselves without your observation skills," Olivia added. She, too, was in a bad mood, since Mo had paid no attention to her, focusing on talking with Jess instead. To make matters worse, River hadn't stopped teasing her about it all the way.

Connor didn't like the way they had spoken to Kelly, but she didn't seem to have detected the sarcasm in their voices.

"Glad to be of service!" she giggled. "Service... that reminds me of this one time me and my brother went to–"

Neither River nor Olivia had to fight about making a decision as a team this time – they left without even a word.

"Now that is just rude," Laura said, patting Kelly's shoulder kindly. She and Phoebe had just arrived, followed closely by Mo and Jess.

"Oh, leave the two lovebirds alone," Phoebe said with a knowing smile. "They want their alone time."

"Olivia and River?" Jess asked, her eyes wide. "But I thought she liked Mo– Oh snap. I did it again."

"Did what again?" Laura asked her, intrigued.

Jess smacked her forehead. "Speaking without thinking."

"I wouldn't worry about it," Kelly comforted her. "I do that all the time!"

"I'm sorry to interrupt," Mo said calmly, "but isn't there a challenge going on?"

They all stared at Mo for a moment.

Then they started to run.

* * *

"Have you seen anything on your side?" Maylene asked Evan. They had been walking for about an hour, she watching out for flags on the right, he keeping an eye on the left.

Or at least, that's what she thought. Evan had forgotten her instructions about five minutes after they had arrived to the island.

"Huh?" he mumbled. He was sketching Boney Island's giant skull on his sketchpad. How he managed to do this while walking, the world will never know.

"I knew I should have gone with Brian," Maylene muttered under her breath. "Evan!" she said.

"Yes?"

"What are you doing?"

The boy adjusted his glasses nervously. "...I'm not doing what I was supposed to be doing, am I?" he asked, a little scared.

"No, you aren't. What you were _supposed_ to do was look to the left in search of a flag, NOT draw whatever it is you're drawing on that little sketchbook of yours! You think it's okay to leave all the work up to me because I'm a girl? Huh?"

By this point, Maylene was yelling, and her face was so close to Evan's she was fogging his eyeglasses with her breath.

"I... am sorry?"

"That's not going to change anything. Now, you're–"

"Hey, I hear a girl's voice over there! Hallellujah!"

"Oh, no," Maylene said. She had to think quickly, and since Evan wasn't likely to have any ideas any time soon, it was all up to her. And all because she was a woman!

Suddenly, she had an idea. "Please try to remember to keep your mouth shut," she whispered to Evan, grabbing him by the elbow and running towards a bush. She jumped into it, landing on the ground and taking Evan with her. They both held their breath when they heard steps behind them.

"Oh man," it was Aaron's voice. "I was so sure I'd heard a girl."

"You've some issues, dude," it was Dominic this time. "Come on, let's keep moving, alright?"

Maylene and Evan were about to let go of the breath they'd been holding when Aaron said something that was much, much, much more terrifying than Boney Island itself.

"I found it!"

Evan and Maylene gasped, and in an instant, they were on their feet, and Aaron and Dominic were screaming in shock. The green flag fell from their hands, and before they could stop them, the two hidden campers had snagged it and were running away with it.

"What... the... hell?"

Dominic couldn't reply. He was about to faint.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Always Here For Ya**_

**Maylene**: I felt kind of guilty for the way I treated Evan, and for taking the flag from Aaron and Dominic... But hey, we were there first! And besides, I'm pretty sure we would have taken the flag anyway if Evan had only looked left like I told him to.

**Dominic**: I knew we were going to encounter some horrifying things at Boney Island, but I never expected _that_. That was just...*he shudders*

* * *

So far, the only thing River and Olivia had encountered were skulls attached to sticks that had been randomly dented on the ground. There had been no bears, no weird animals, no quicksand, no flags.. only skulls.

"I think we've been walking in circles," Olivia said at last. She had been too proud to voice her fear before, because after all, she had been the one that had lead them all the way.

She waited for River's sarcastic reply, but it never came.

"Look, I know you're mad about the whole DS incident, and I know that you can't stand me and all, but can we just try to get along?"

Nothing. And after she had lowered herself to say all that! Oh, she was going to give him the scolding of his life...

She turned around, her tongue already sharpening to bare her words like a knife, but the only thing she saw was the trail they'd been following, the bushes, the dark trees, and the skulls.

"River? River? If this is your idea of a joke, you have a lousy sense of humor!"

Olivia bit her nails. Could he have left her alone? No, he wouldn't have done that... But after all, he only needed her help to paddle. Not to find the flag. She knew she wasn't the most likeable person around, but she never thought anyone would actually abandon her because they couldn't stand her even for a challenge.

"Fine then! I don't need you! I can do things by myself. And for the record, I can't stand you either and I don't like you, so we're even! Jerk."

She was about to turn on her heels when something caught her eye. It was the only thing that stood out among the dull grass patches and mud that covered the ground. She picked it up carefully, and even before her brain knew what it was, her heart was already leaping.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Where the Stupidity Comes Out**_

**Olivia**: When I saw River's DS lying there, I knew that something _terrible_ must have happened. The guy would rather give up his legs than that thing! There was only one possible explanation... *takes a deep breath* ...the ninjas had kidnapped him!

* * *

"I have to get help!" Olivia gasped.

"Finally, something we can agree on. You do need professional help," a voice said. It seemed to come from above.

Olivia looked up, only to find River sitting on a branch, holding a green flag.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Likes To Annoy You While You're Reading**_

**Olivia**: OK, so he had not been kidnapped by ninjas after all...

* * *

"Have you been here this whole time?" Olivia asked, enraged.

"No, I was on the other side of the island, having tea with Chris and Chef, talking about dresses."

"Not a good moment to be funny, River, considering I am currently very pissed off, and in possession of your DS."

River's expression changed dramatically. "Please don't hurt it," he whispered.

"Well, let's see. You just saw the flag, left your little game lying here, climbed up the tree, and listened to me worrying about your well-being without ever bothering to say a word."

River raised a finger in protest. "Allow me to doubt the 'worrying about my well-being' part."

"Allow _me_ to remind _you_ that I have your videogame in my hands, and that I'm getting angrier by the second," Olivia hissed. As if her voice wasn't threatening enough, she slowly began to withdraw her fingers from the videogame, one by one...

"Don't!" River begged. "Please, I'll do anything, just don't!"

He began to climb down as fast as he could, but in his haste to save his precious videogame, he ended up falling from the tree. Olivia almost dropped the videogame this time.

"Are you okay?" she asked River, trying not to let her concern show.

"Yes," he said a little dizzily, getting up by himself despite the fact that Olivia was offering him her hand. He brushed the dirt off of his clothes and extended his palm towards her. "Now give me back my DS."

"I will... if you form an alliance with me."

"Alright, alright. Dammit, why do you have to be so darn annoying all the time?"

Olivia looked hurt for a second, and in that tiny fragment of time, River almost felt he could connect with someone who wasn't virtual. Then she had to go and ruin it by putting on her smug face and snarling, "I don't know, why are you always playing with that stupid game?"

"Maybe I do it to get away from obnoxious people like _you_," River knew that he was going a little far, but he was angry at her, and there was a part of him that wanted to make her feel the same way he felt. "Give it back."

She shoved it into his hands quite violently. "There you go! I hope you and Ms Pac-Man will be happy together!"

"Hey!" someone said nearby. "A girl! Finally! Follow my lead, dude."

They heard a ruffle among the bushes, and from them emerged what seemed at first to be two people with thick, droppy skin that was like wax covering their entire bodies.

"Oh man!" the one who had spoken first said, sounding extremely disappointed, "it's just Olivia."

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Just Olivia**_

**Olivia**: 'Just Olivia'? What the hell was that supposed to mean?

* * *

They were Dominic and Aaron... covered in mud.

"We had to swim through a swamp to get to the flag," Dominic explained, not looking like he was about to get into detail. "Funny thing about swamps: they have leech."

"And where's the flag?" Olivia asked them. She didn't see it anywhere.

Dominic just pointed to his back, annoyed. There, tied around his neck like a hero's cape, was a brown rag decorated with leaves and leech. If you squinted your eyes a little bit, you could see some mud-free spots where the fabric was still red.

"I hope Kitty and Fiery find a red one too," Aaron said dreamily.

"He's a lost case," Dominic laughed.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The four of them jumped as the piercing screams shook the branches of the trees, blowing some birds away as if it were a powerful gust of wind. Perhaps it was, because they were all left cold and shaken when it was finally over.

"Where did that come from?" Aaron asked, frowning.

"I think it came from there," Dominic said, pointing East. "We have to go help! Someone could get seriously hurt."

"So the huge jock is actually a big softie," River said, unimpressed. "How original."

"Now is not the time to enlighten us with your idioticy!" Olivia yelled at him. "Dominc's right, we've got to help."

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Loves To Annoy You**_

**River**: Mm. The only surprise there was Olivia showing an interest in anyone but herself. Or *puts on a girly voice and batts his eyelashes* Mo. *pauses, staring at his iPod* Well, she _did_ say she was worried about me, and she certainly _sounded_ worried... *looks back at the camera* But that doesn't mean she has a heart. I'd sooner believe Maylene is going to give up her ideals than believe Olivia doesn't have a rock for brains.

* * *

They followed Dominic, and soon enough, they were in a very dark path, covered by very large stones and surrounded by gigantic trees. Even River looked intimidated, comparing the scenery to some of the scariest scenes he'd seen in videogames, but not daring to share his thoughts with the others.

They heard another scream, just as ear-shattering as the first, only louder. Their eyes stumbled upon a horrific sight: Kat and Chelsea had their backs pressed against a giant stone, and the only thing separating them from a growling bear was thin air and the thin stick Chelsea was holding with her trembling hands.

Olivia smacked her forehead. "I just had to bring the bears up, didn't I? Stupid producer people!"

"My girls!" Aaron cried.

"We're not _your_ girls, you stupid idiot!" Chelsea roared, an impressive feat considering she was about to be mauled by a bear. "Now do something useful for once and find my lighter!"

"Your lighter?" Aaron repeated dumbly.

"You know, that little shiny object that makes fire?!"

"We don't have time to look for it," Dominic told her, "you're about to get eaten by bears!"

"Thanks for your optimism!" Kat said. Then she frowned as her eyes came upon something near where Dominic was standing. "A flag!"

"And it's red!" Aaron pointed out, ecstatic. "Yes!"

Dominic picked it up, and as a beam of sweat ran down his temple, he began waving the flag and yelling: "Hey, bear! Over here!"

"You do realize it's not a bull, right?" Olivia said.

There was no time for a reply. The bear turned, sniffed the air, and when his eyes caught sight of the flag, they seemed to shine like charcoal. He growled, and started running towards the flag.

"OK, this is just ridiculous," River commented. "Bears don't–"

But apparently they did, because when Dominic waved the flag in the opposite direction, the bear followed the flag... only to collide against a tree.

"Whoa, nice one!" Chelsea smiled.

"You saved our lives," Kat said shyly.

Dominic blushed. "Anytime." He handed the flag to Kat, who blushed even more.

"Thanks."

Both Chelsea and Aaron looked outraged.

"Hey, I could have saved you too," Aaron grumbled.

"Me too, if I'd had my lighter," Chelsea said, giving a nasty look to Aaron.

"This is all very sweet, guys," Olivia sighed, "but don't you think we should get the hell out of this place before we find more bears? Or ninjas?"

They all looked at her a little mockingly. "Ninjas?"

"You can't tell me you bought that story!" Chelsea laughed. "Man, you're gullible. I mean, ninjas? Come on!"

* * *

"NINJAS!"

Laura and Phoebe hugged each other, screaming at the top of their lungs. They had spent the whole trip gossiping and exchanging information about the other campers and their (fictional) love lives, and had failed to notice they had passed by three flags already. Chris had finally decided to take matters into his own hands, and had sent a few ninjas to do the job – maybe all the two girls needed to realize they were in a challenge was to be thrown the flag in their faces. After all, they couldn't afford to waste precious money – we mean, _footage_ – of the girls talking and walking and not doing anything even remotely interesting.

There were three of them, all clad in black, and they were surrounding Laura and Phoebe. One of them had a red flag wrapped around his waist.

"Hey, that's our flag!"

"Not that we're in a position to negotiate here," Laura said, smiling nervously, "but please, sir, can you give us our flag?"

The ninja shook his head, and proceeded to make an impressive display of his martial skills. The girls clung on to each other.

"Yo! Those are our teammates you're scaring there!" someone said.

"Nobody messes with the Kellinator's teammates!" another voice agreed.

To Laura and Phoebe's relief and the ninja's immense surprise, a girl with blond hair and purple streaks appeared out of nowhere, and by her side was a boy with muscled arms and a devious smile. Kelly and Connor held their red flag high; they had come to rescue their new teammates and hopefully get that adrenaline rush they'd been craving.

"You're crazy!" Laura said, concerned. "You'll get hurt!"

"We'll see about that," Kelly said, her eyes narrowing. With a wild scream, she ran towards the first ninja, delivering an effective kick to his stomach. The ninja fell, but he bounced back on his feet and attempted to kick Kelly back. His leg was stopped by her bare hands. "Sorry, _amigo_. It's nothing personal." And with that, she twisted his leg by the ankle, causing him to lose his balance and fall. Before he touched the ground, however, Kelly grabbed the flag and unwrapped it from his body with an unrealistically fast movement.

Meanwhile, Connor fought with the other two ninja simultaneously. He delivered quick blows to one ninja's chest, then turned around to hit the second ninja's knees.

"Popcorn, Larrie?" Phoebe said with her mouth full, offering the treat to Laura.

"Where did that come from?"

"The camera crew."

Laura turned, while the camera moved in a nodding motion. A hand that clearly belonged to the cameraman obstructed the middle of the screen as he said, "Somebody stop those two! Those ninjas could sue us if they get injured, you know!"

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Will Sue You**_

**Ninja #1:** *has a black eye and a bloody lip* That is it! I'm so sick of these teenagers kicking my ass all the time! I'm quitting.

**Kelly:** Just when I was having so much fun! What a way to spoil the party. *she laughs* That reminds me of this one time when I went to a party, and I switched the beer with fake beer, you know, like in those movies, except it wasn't fake, I mean, the original beer was, but it turned out the one I put in the can was real, and so everyone got drunk and was throwing up in the pool and they were all like, totally crazy. *she wipes a tear from the corner of her eye* Good times.

**Connor:** *he sighs* I really wanted to do something crazy, but those ninjas weren't very good fighters. When are we jumping off that cliff? I could seriously use the adrenaline right now.

* * *

At the same time, but in a different part of Boney Island, Topher tripped with a pebble and fell on his knees. Brian sighed: it was the fifth time this happened in the last hour.

"Move it, Klutzenko," he said, kicking him lightly in the butt. "We have a flag to find, remember?"

"Wait," the poor klutz begged. "I think I hurt my knees... And my hands... And my feet..."

"Do you want me to hurt your head, too?"

"No, thank you."

"Then _keep walking_. Everyone else must have found their flags by now! If I'm the last one to arrive, I'll seriously injure you."

Topher got up, only to trip again. Brian rolled his eyes.

"If you don't kill yourself first, that is."

Not bothering to see if Topher was following, Brian continued to walk down a narrow path bordered by the tallest trees he had seen in his life. There was the occasional skull, but those didn't scare him. They were dead, if they'd ever been alive in the first place.

It was only when he noticed he hadn't heard Topher tripping or colliding against something that he realized he had lost him.

* * *

"So, what girl do you like so far?" Jessica asked Mo, her voice flirty and playful. "C'mon, you can tell me. Is it Olivia?"

Mo was seriously disturbed by that thought.

"What? No! Where'd you get that idea?"

Jess shrugged. "I don't know, the way you were so desperate to get away from her today. It looked like you were so nervous to be around her."

"Yes, I was nervous because I was afraid she was going to kidnap me or something."

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Spoiler: Mo Likes Jess**_

**Mo**: Oh, I would like Olivia... if I was into stalkers! Seriously, is Jessica trying to tell me off, or can't she honestly not see that I'm into her?

**Jessica**: *shaking her head* I messed up again, didn't I?

* * *

"Oh," Jessica said simply. It seemed comprehension had finally dawned on her. Then she asked, "but why would she kidnap you?"

"Nevermind, Jessica. Forget I ever said that."

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Another Spoiler: Jess Is Clueless**_

**Jessica**: Okay, what did I say this time? And why's he being all emo all of a sudden? Sheesh! I don't get it.

* * *

They kept walking in an uncomfortable silence, even though Jess tried to break it by flirting or telling jokes. Nothing worked. It seemed Mo was determined to remain in silent mode.

"You can keep giving me the silent treatment for the rest of our stay if you want," Jessica said at last. She was tired of this, and she was starting to get mad. "But for now we're in this challenge together, and we need to get that flag!"

Mo stopped, and after what seemed like an eternity, he sighed.

"Alright, so what would you have us do? We've already looked for hours and we haven't found a single thing. Not even a sight of the other contestants."

Jessica frowned, hit by a sudden and rather perturbing thought. "You don't think... we've been walking in circles, do you?"

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Featuring the Handsomest Host Ever**_

**Chris:** FINALLY! I swear, these campers get dumber with every the season!

* * *

"Oh crap!" Jessica said, smacking her forehead. "What are we going to do now? We'll never get that flag now! And how will we know where to go? We haven't been paying any attention–" She was cut off abruptly by Mo's finger on her lips.

"Jessica, relax," he said in his most soothing voice. "We just need to stop following the path and go somewhere else."

They both looked around. All they saw was the muddy path surrounded by black woods on each side.

"Guess it's the woods then," Mo said.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Now That Sounds Like a Good Idea, Mo!**_

**Chris**: *laughing histerically, holding his stomach* Can... *laugh* you... *laugh* believe... *laugh* it?

* * *

While Mo and Jess entered the wilderness, Brian looked for Topher, and Topher looked for a way out. He had fallen in what appeared to be a deep hole, but this time his clumsiness had had nothing to do with it. How was he supposed to know that those leaves on the ground were concealing the hole? He tried screaming for help, but nobody came.

Now all he could do was try to climb his way up, which only resulted in him getting yet more injured. In the end, he gave up and sat on the earth, taking out his box of bandages to cover his wounds.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – We Like to Butt In**_

**Topher**: I always carry those around, just in case. And 'just in case' happens very often. *he smiles, scratching the back of his head*

* * *

"'Let's go to the woods!'" Jessica mimicked Mo. Her hair was messy and had some branches sticking out of it, while her clothes were filthhy and torn at some parts. "Oh, gee, I don't see why not, Mo! That doesn't sound dangerous in the least!"

Mo turned to her, scowling angrily. His mohawk seemed to pierce through the bird nest that now crowned his head. His clothes were in no better condition than Jessica's, but his face was worse than hers. He had several scratches in his cheeks, and a long gash across his forehead.

"I didn't hear you suggesting anything else!" he said. "At least I had an idea!"

"Yeah, a really bad one! One that will likely get us both killed!"

"The only thing that's going to kill us here is your yelling!"

"Oh, because you're not yelling too?"

* * *

Brian stopped on his tracks when he heard the voices.

"Unless I'm hallucinating again," he murmured, "that sounds like Mo and Chelsea."

He followed the sound of their voices, which grew louder and louder with every step he took. Oddly enough, they were deep in the wilderness, and it took Brian all of his juvie skills to reach them without so much as a scratch. They, however, had not been so lucky.

"You guys look like crap."

At the sound of his voice, they immediately jumped to each other's arms – despite the fact that they had just been fighting – only to separate again when they identified him and who they were holding.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – We Live to Annoy You**_

**Jessica**: I just wanna say that I only grabbed on to Mo because I was ready to throw him to whatever beast we were about to face.

* * *

"Brian? What are you doing here?"

"Lost Topher," he explained, not appearing too concerned over that little problem. "So you guys haven't found a flag either, huh?"

"Do you _see_ a flag anywhere?" Jessica asked, irritated.

"Whoa, somebody forgot to take their meds this morning."

"And you haven't had to stand her all day," Mo said, earning a kick from Jessica. "You–!" He couldn't even finish his sentence, because Jessica punched him in the mouth.

Brian winced, taking pity on Mo. He knew what it was like to get beaten by girls. But still, he couldn't help but wonder out loud, "What happened to you two? Last time I checked you were pretty tight, but now you're acting like me and that stupid Drama Queen Olivia."

They both opened their mouths, but their replies were cut off by a terrifying growl.

"Please tell me that's not a bear," Mo whispered.

It wasn't a bear. It was something much, much worse, and much less believable: a giant beaver with fangs.

"You just had to say that," Jessica grumbled.

There was no time for an argument, however. The beaver growled again, covering them with saliva, and it charged. The three teenagers didn't think twice: they started to run in the same direction, dodging roots and jumping over bushes as they made their way back to the path, never stopping for air. Once there, they ran without looking forward, only looking back at the incredible creature that was following them close enough for them to smell its breath. And then, suddenly, they didn't see it anymore... all they saw was the ground, and then the sky shining above.

They had fallen.

"Guys!" Topher said. His smile fell from his face once he had a better look at them. "Bandages, anyone?"

Back at Boney Island's beach, the rest of their contestants were surrounding Chris, who had been there with Chef, waiting for their arrival.

"Alright, campers. Green flags go to the right, red ones to the left." He waited. Nothing happened.

"Move it, soldiers!" Chef ordered.

Everyone obeyed as fast as they could, bumping into each other in their haste to get to their assigned place. Finally, when they were all done, Chris pointed to the right.

"Maylene, Evan, Olivia, River, Phoebe, and Laura, you are now the Stinging Bees!"

"Um, shouldn't our color be yellow?" Evan asked. Surprisingly he was paying attention this time.

"Technically yes, but we couldn't just afford new fabric," Chris laughed at the silliness of the idea. "Now, the campers on the left: Connor, Kelly, Aaron, Dominic, Kat, and Chelsea, you are the Deadly Sharks!"

"Yes! We get the coolest name!" Kelly squealed. "And sharks are my favorite animals!"

"Red is the color of love," Aaron said, grinning at Chelsea and Kat. Both girls turned red, albeit for different reasons.

"It's also the color of blood," Chelsea said maliciously, "and of fire."

"Hey, wait a second," Olivia said suddenly. "Where's Mo?" She looked around. "And Baldie?"

"Yeah, I thought we were missing a few people," Laura agreed. "Shouldn't Topher and Jessica be here too?"

"Oh yeah," Chris smiled sheepishly. "They sorta got lost back there. No biggie." He shrugged.

The campers exchanged looks of concern.

"Don't worry, they'll be alright!" Chris said. He didn't look very worried himself. "So long as you rescue them, that is."

River almost dropped his beloved and recently recovered DS. "Say what now?"

"No way!" Olivia crossed her arms dissaprovingly. "I'm not going back there to save _Baldie_ of all people."

Maylene turned to her. "How can you say that? They could die out there!"

"So could we," Dominic pointed out.

"That's a risk the network is willing to take," Chris said. "Which brings us to the second part of the challenge: the Rescue challenge! Each team is required to find two of the missing campers and bring them back here alive. The team that gets here first wins!"

"Woohoo! More dangerous stuff!"

"This is going to be a _really_ long day," Kat said to Chelsea, as they watched Connor and Kelly run towards the wilderness like kids going into a candy store.

* * *

NEXT TIME: Waterfalls, teams not getting along, Laura gossiping, rivalries, alliances, and near-death experiences!

* * *

Author's Note: This was loooong, but really fun to write. Watch out for Laura and Phoebe, those two are bound to cause some havoc in the future. And Dominic steps into the Aaron/Chelsea/Kat triangle and makes it a square! Anyway, what did YOU think of this chapter and its developments? What are your favorite couples? Have you changed your mind about a character or two? What were your favorite lines?

On a different note, I have a new fic up! If you have the time, go check it out :D

Also, something I forgot to mention last chapter -- **English is not my mother tongue, so if I make any mistakes, please correct me!** Constructive criticism on the story itself is also appreciated.

* * *

Now, to refresh your minds a little bit, here are the teams.

**TEAM: THE STINGING BEES (GREEN)**

Laura - Olivia – Maylene – Phoebe – River – Evan

**TEAM: THE DEADLY SHARKS (RED)**

Aaron – Chelsea – Kat – Dominic – Kelly – Connor

**Read and Review, people!**


	3. Day 1, Part III

Disclaimer: Don't own TDI/TDA, only Brian and Olivia. The other OCs belong to their respective creators. Chris belongs to Satan, I'm sure.

* * *

**Total Drama Again**

**_~by CamperThirteen (AKA Emaena)

* * *

_**

**Day 1, Part III**

**Escape from Boney Island**

**

* * *

**

**_Confession Camera – We Has Flies_**

**Chris: **What the campers don't know is that while they were making their way back, our production crew rescued their missing teammates from that conveniently-placed hole and scattered them around Boney Island, in other conveniently-chosen locations. *rubs his hands* This is gonna be awesome!

* * *

**TEAM: THE STINGING BEES.**

Amidst the dark, bluish trees and crooked branches of Boney Island there was a wide river surrounded by large rocks. Sitting in those rocks, and looking like they had been there for a while, were Phoebe, Laura, Evan, and River. The four Bees were watching the exchange that was going on in front of their eyes, their eyes going from Maylene to Olivia like it was a tennis match.

"We have to follow the river," Maylene said for the uptempth time, pointing to the stream of dark water that was on their left. The only two people standing were Maylene herself and Olivia, who had her chin raised in a vain attempt to appear as if she were looking at Maylene from above.

"Um, _newsflash_! Rivers go south, remember?" Olivia sniffed. "We aren't supposed to go back to the beach, you know."

"I'm sorry, did you _see_ a river when we were on the beach?" Maylene scoffed.

"I think she might have mistaken Lake Wawanakwa for a river," the boy River intervened in his monotone voice. His DS had ran out of batteries, and he was currently very bored. "She's not very bright–"

"Zip it!" Olivia cut him off, looking as if she were prepared to throw something at him in case he protested.

"Don't boss him around," Maylene scolded her. She turned to River with a kind smile. "You can speak whenever you want to, River."

"You're one to talk about bossing people around!"

The rest of the team gasped in shock. Evan held his sketchpad to his chest like a shield, while Phoebe and Laura looked at each other and River let his jaw drop.

"Oh no she didn't!" they intoned together.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Is Somehow Available in Boney Island?**_

**Olivia**: Oh yes I did.

**Maylene**: *shocked* ...I am NOT bossy, okay! You got that? *points a threatening finger to the camera* You better put this on the show, Chris!

**River**: That... was... somehow... kinda hot. *he snaps out of it, and clears his throat loudly* Man, I miss my DS. This abstinence is doing things to my head.

**Laura**: Oh my gosh! Can you say _drama_?

* * *

Olivia stood her ground, meeting Maylene's fierce gaze with her own stubborn one.

"You _are_ bossy. The way you just told River that he could speak, like you were giving him your permission or something? If that's not bossing around, I don't know what is," Olivia went on. "Nobody in this team needs a mom, thank you very much! We're all independent individuals here."

"I am just trying to help, unlike you!" Maylene snapped. "YOU are the one who's holding us back."

"Yes, because YOU are leading us back to the beach!"

"I am not!"

"Okay, guys!" Laura said sweetly, but she got up as fast as she could and put a hand in the girl's shoulders, in an attempt to keep them as far away from each other as possible. "Why don't we take five minutes off..."

"But we've already taken enough time off as it is," Phoebe said.

"Let's just split up, go wherever each of us feels like going, and then we'll meet back at the beach in four hours... where we'll find Maylene waiting for us." Olivia smiled at the girl mockingly.

"That is actually a good idea," River said, sounding as impressed as River could sound. Olivia smiled proudly, in a 'of-course-it-is' kind of way. "It will increase our chances of finding someone."

"Maybe, but it will also increase our chances of losing more members," Maylene pointed out. "And look at Evan!" Everyone did. The boy was sketching something, apparently unaware of the discussion that was going on, or even of where he was. "We can't just let a guy like him loose in the forest. He'd probably get eaten by a bear without realizing it."

"Oh, I know!" Phoebe squealed, shooting her hand up in delight. "We could all go in pairs!"

"What a novel idea," River said sarcastically.

"I agree with Phoebe," Olivia said, smirking. "And since you're so worried about Evan, why don't _you_ go with him, Maylene? At least you'll both make it back to the beach safely."

Maylene was about to reply when Laura clapped her hands and squealed, "Oh! This will be so fun! But why don't we go in teams of three? That will make it safer, right?"

"I'm not so sure about that..." River said, looking at Maylene's angry scowl and Olivia's smirk in turns.

"Great idea, Larrie!" Phoebe exclaimed. "Then, I'll go with Evan and May, and you go with Olivia and River!"

"Sounds great!"

"Sounds awful," River muttered.

"Fine by me," Maylene said. "Let's follow the river then. South. To a place that is _not_ the beach."

"We'll see about that!" Olivia laughed. "Okay, guys, which way do you wanna go? Since, you know, this is a democracy and all." She sent a sideways glance in Maylene's direction. "Nope, noone bosses Olivia's team around... Now let's move it, people! We don't have all day!"

* * *

**TEAM: THE DEADLY SHARKS.**

Not too far away from the place where Olivia and Maylene had just been fighting, the Sharks where walking along a trail so narrow it only allowed for two people to walk shoulder-to-shoulder. Kelly and Connor led the group, with Chelsea and Aaron following, and Kat and Dominic closing the march. Their strategy? Scream at the top of their lungs.

"WHERE ARE YOU?"

"GUYS?"

"JESSIE, HONEY, DO YOU HEAR ME? IT'S AARON!"

"PEOPLE, ANSWER!"

"JESSICA, I SWEAR I'LL BURN SOMETHING IF YOU DON'T COME OUT!"

"TOPHER! JESSICA! MOZART! BRIAN!"

"This is just like roll call," Dominic said to Kat over the shouts of the others. "Only in the forest."

"Yeah, and only under deadly circumstances," she agreed, smiling shyly.

Aaron and Chelsea immediately stopped shouting, and focused on trying to hear their beloved's conversation. All they could hear was Kitty laughing softly at some stupid joke Dominic had made. They both growled, and then looked at each other.

"Wait, you like Dominic?" Aaron asked Chelsea, who rolled her eyes.

"No, you idiot."

"Then why are you so mad? I'm the one who should be mad. He's hitting on my girl. Well, one of my girls, anyway." He winked at her.

Chelsea ignored him. She stopped and waited for Kat to reach her. When the girl passed by her side, she grabbed her arm and dragged her with her, shoving Aaron out of the way.

"C'mon, Kitty," she said. "You don't have to stand these morons."

"...Okay," Kat replied meekly, before she waved at the guys. "Bye, Aaron. Bye, Dominic."

Aaron and Dominic looked at each other, completely dumbfounded.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Nobody Gets Anything**_

**Aaron**: I don't understand Chelsea, dude. She's so difficult, and rebellious, and hot, and... strange. *pauses* That makes me want her even more.

**Dominic**: Was it something I said? *puppy eyes* I was so sure I wasn't being intimidating or anything... Maybe I scared Kat and Chelsea got mad?

**Chelsea**: Men can be so stupid, it's unbelievable. They wouldn't recognize I like anyone but them even if the truth hit them in the face and then laughed at them. Loudly.

**Kat**: I just don't know what that was all about. At first I thought Chelsea liked Aaron, but now I'm not so sure...

* * *

Kat and Chelsea walked arm in arm, just a few steps behind Connor and Kelly, who were now making animal noises. Apparently Kelly thought they could ask the animals if they had seen the missing campers.

"So," Kat said uncomfortably. "Um, Chelsea, is everything okay?"

Chelsea's grip on Kat tightened. "Everything's just _peachy_. Why do you ask?"

Kat bit her lip. Chelsea didn't look peachy in the least, but she was still certain that the girl wouldn't hurt her, even if she was intimidating and constantly threatened the others.

"I don't know, you're just... acting a bit weird..."

"I just wanted to walk with you. What's wrong with that?"

"N-Nothing, of course. It's just..." Kat took a deep breath to calm herself. "Do you like Dominic?"

Chelsea's hand dropped, releasing her. "What? No!"

"Oh," Kat mumbled, a little taken aback, but somehow relieved at the same time. "Okay."

Chelsea sighed and took out her lighter. She flicked it on and off while they walked, not bothering to shout with the others anymore. Then, suddenly, an idea lit up in her head like a flame.

"Hey everyone! I know what we should do!"

They all gathered around Chelsea, some looking curious and excited, others... not so much. Dominic, Kat and Aaron were in the last group.

After Chelsea had finished explaining her plan to them, Connor and Kelly high-fived, and the other three Sharks gulped.

"Are you sure that's... I don't know... _legal_?" Dominic asked.

"The contract said there aren't any rules," Kelly answered before Chelsea could even open her mouth. "Plus, it's a survival challenge, remember? Anything goes." She looked at Connor. "This is gonna be so fun!"

"Hell yes! I can't wait!"

"I can. I don't want to die," Aaron said.

"I second that, man," Dominic nodded eagerly.

"I third that," Kat said, earning a smile from Dominic and a scowl from Chelsea. She stared at the ground. "...Or not..."

"Do you have any ideas?" Chelsea asked them in a tone that indicated that they weren't allowed to reply even if they did. "I didn't think so. And besides, this is the fastest way–"

"...To die," Aaron completed.

"I could kill you right now, if you are so eager!" Chelsea roared, setting a branch on fire and pointing it at him. "Got any objections?"

"No!" Aaron, Dominic, and Kat cried in fear.

"Not at all," Kelly said cheerfully.

"Let's do this, dudes and dudettes!"

* * *

_**Confession Camera -- Great Idea, Chelsea!**_

**Kelly**: I was so excited about Chelsea's idea. How didn't I think of it? That girl is a genius!

**Dominic**: That girl is a menace. And what's with Kelly and Connor being all eager to follow her lead? Are me, Kat, and Aaron the only sane members on this team? And Aaron barely counts as normal. *looks worried* Man, we are so doomed!

* * *

**TEAM: THE STINGING BEES (OLIVIA, RIVER, & LAURA).**

Olivia had decided to lead 'her team' in the opposite direction of Maylene's, and was currently listening to Laura's gossiping while she looked around for some kind of sign. It was almost like she expected to find arrows painted on the trees, or crumbs of bread indicating where they should go.

"So she said that your shoes were tacky," Laura told Olivia confidingly, "and that she thought your hair was an ugly mess and that it looks like a dead animal."

Olivia gasped and took her hands to her beautiful, glossy, wavy, not-at-all-messy black hair.

"What? That little–"

"I doubt someone like Maylene would even so much as bother to look at another girl's hair," River interrupted. "That's something _you_ would do."

Laura winced, but Olivia turned to face him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, daring him to respond. When he didn't, she insisted, her voice a little high-pitched, "You think that Maylene is superior to me?"

"It's not about superiority..." River sighed, taking out his DS only to have something to fumble with so that he didn't have to look at Olivia. "...But yes."

"That is it! You are on your own, mister!"

"Finally! I thought you'd never ask!"

"Oh," Laura said in her most innocent voice, ignoring the fact that her teammates were fighting quite loudly and would probably not hear her, "and she also said that it was obvious that you were trying to steal River away from her."

Both Olivia and River gaped at her. "SHE SAID WHAT?"

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Likes to Gossip, Too**_

**Laura**: Alright, so I made it all up.

* * *

"But that's not–"

"We don't even–"

"She doesn't–"

"It's not like–"

"I'm just telling you because I think you ought to know," Laura said, "and because you're my friends."

Just then, a thick cloud of smoke made its way across the trees, sending animals running out of their hiding.

"Is something burning?" Laura wondered out loud. It did smell like something was burning.

"Not something," River said, his eyes wide and watering from the smoke, "more like everything."

It was true. In the horizon, a thin ring of flames was licking its way towards them.

"We should have followed the river!" Olivia cried.

* * *

**TEAM: THE STINGING BEES (MAYLENE, EVAN, & PHOEBE).**

"What are you drawing there, Evan?"

"Who, me?"

"Of course you, silly," giggled Phoebe. "Do you see anyone else with a sketchpad around here?"

Evan looked around before he answered, "No."

A pause.

"Evan?"

"Yes?"

"What are you drawing?"

"Oh, right. I'm drawing that over there."

"Oh, that..." Phoebe followed his gaze with a happy smile. The smile slowly turned into a silent scream, as her eyes opened like plates at the sight. "FIRE!"

"What?!" Maylene and Evan asked at the same time.

Phoebe could only point towards the flames with a shaking finger.

"We should have gone the other way!" Maylene cried.

"What now?"

"The river!" Phoebe said.

All three jumped into the river, but Evan made sure he swam with an raised, so he could keep his sketchpad away from the water. The girls shot him incredulous looks.

"What?" he asked, genuinely curious.

"Forget it. Let's just, um, swim or something."

"I can't swim, I have my sketchpad here," Evan said slowly, as if he thought Maylene hadn't seen it.

"We don't need to swim," Phoebe said. "We're already moving!"

They were. The current was doing all the work for them, and it was doing it surprisingly fast. In a matter of seconds, it was going a little _too_ fast. The flames were now a thin red line in the horizon, but there was a rather disturbing sound in the background, one that grew louder by the minute...

"Is that...?"

"A... A..." Maylene didn't seem capable of uttering another sound until she saw the point where the river ended and the sky began. "A WATERFALL!"

"MY SKETCHPAD!"

"YOUR SKETCHPAD?!" Maylene repeated, outraged. "SHOULDN'T YOU BE WORRIED ABOUT OUR LIVES?!"

"THAT TOO!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

**TEAM: THE DEADLY SHARKS.**

After setting half of the forest on fire under Chelsea's suspiciously expert instructions, the Sharks were tired, coughing, and disappointed. The only thing they had found so far was a scared rabbit, that Kelly had adopted and that was now resting on top of her head like some kind of hat.

"Say, Chelsea, this has been very exciting and all," Connor said as he set yet another bush on fire. "But maybe we should switch tactics."

"Nonsense. Just keep burning stuff, we'll get to them eventually," Chelsea said.

"Or burn them in the process," Aaron pointed out. "And somehow, I don't think bringing back their burned corpses will count... Chris did say we had to go back with them _alive_."

As Chelsea shoot Aaron a fierce glare, Dominc looked at the tree he was slowly setting on fire with mournful eyes.

"You know," he told Kat, "I think there's a name for this..."

"Yes, it's called _arsoning_."

"I was gonna say pyro, but that works too."

The sound of their muffled chuckles was interrupted by a sudden, piercing scream.

"NOOO! HEEELLPPP!"

Everyone on the team paused, holding their breath like a single being. Chelsea was sweating, and Dominic gulped.

"Hey..." Connor said, breaking the silence. "That sounds like someone screaming for help!"

They all stared at him.

"You don't say," Chelsea said, but her words were cut off by another scream.

"It's a girl!" Aaron whispered, his eyes filled with hope. He listened intently. "It's coming from the north... No, wait, it's east... No! North-East!" He pointed in that direction in a way that reminded one of a dog tracking something.

"Wow, who knew your skirt-chasing talents would come in handy someday," Chelsea commented.

"It's like he has a super-power or something," Kelly observed, amazed. "It's awesome."

"You're sure it's that way?" Dominic asked. The direction Aaron was signaling was one that lead to the fire.

Aaron nodded, looking quite offended that anyone would dare question him on such an important subject. "My girl-senses are _never_ wrong," he said.

"They better not be," Kat murmured.

"Now, let's go, team! Woohoo!" Connor roared. "Into the fire!"

* * *

**TEAM: THE STINGING BEES (OLIVIA, RIVER, & LAURA).**

They ran in the opposite direction of the flames, but they were quickly catching up with them, as the wind howled behind their backs, pushing them forward and leading the fire their way. It was almost as if an expert arsonist had planned it.

"HELP!" Laura cried one last time before she gave up like Olivia and River had done minutes ago. Their voices were almost as raw as their feet.

Finally they reached a small mountain that ended in a sharp peak; it was the only thing that wasn't burning around them. It was ,

"We have to climb," Olivia coughed. The smoke was getting into her eyes and into her lungs. "Before we..." she coughed again, unable or unwilling to finish the sentence.

"Olivia, are you crying?" Laura asked softly, putting a hand in the other girl's shoulder comfortingly.

"I-I am not! It's just the smoke!"

"Look, there's nothing to worry about. I've played a lot of video-games with situations like this before," River said. "Just follow my lead."

Before they could protest, River had put his right foot in one of the boulders sticking out of the mountain and his left hand in a higher boulder. Slowly, he began to ascend like a spider without a web.

"It's too dangerous!" Laura screamed at his back, "You'll fall!"

"It's not like we have another choice!" River screamed back, still climbing. His teammates gasped when one of the boulders he was grasping fell causing him to lose his balance, but he quickly grabbed onto another.

Laura took a deep breath and looked up, scanning the steep mountain with her eyes. Suddenly she put her hands together. "Mo's up there!"

"What?!" both Olivia and River said, the first perking up, the latter almost fell again out of shock. When they looked up, their faces lost all color. Mo was hanging like a limp puppet from a particularly big boulder, held only by a rope. His eyes were closed: he was unconscious.

Olivia gasped. "MO! I'm coming!"

Mo's eyes opened at the sound of her voice. When he saw her climbing up with a determined and almost insane glow in her eyes, he squirmed and tried to break free, nevermind the fact that if he did, he would fall to a certain death.

"No!" he uttered, bringing his hands close to his face. "Not you!"

"I think he's hallucinating or something," Olivia informed the others. "He looks so scared, poor thing!"

"I wonder why," River said.

They kept climbing, occasionally slipping, but always managing to remain glued to the mountain like magnets. Finally, Olivia reached a small steep that was just a few feet from where Mo was hanging. She helped River up, and then Laura.

"What now, Captain?" River asked Olivia in a mocking tone that did not escape her, but which she chose to ignore.

She bit her fingernails pensatively. "Maybe if Mo's rope is strong enough, we could climb all the way up to the mountain, and then reach the other side."

"But we'll never make it in time," Laura said.

"Maybe, but at least we'll make it back _alive,_" Olivia said. "Remember the fire?"

"I agree with her on this one."

"Hey, I'm not trying to be rude or anything, but I'm still hanging here, remember?!" Mo said.

"Perhaps we should figure out how to rescue Mo first," Laura suggested.

"Good call."

* * *

**TEAM: THE STINGING BEES (MAYLENE, EVAN, & PHOEBE).**

Just when they were ready for the fall, it never came. It was as if someone had stopped time only to torture them with the vision of those powerful waters collapsing against the rocks ten feet below, with such noise that they couldn't even hear their own hearts' wild beats. Cool water was splashing to their faces, piercing them like frozen needles, but they were safe.

Maylene was the first to realize she was being held by the collar by a strong fist, as well as the first to recover from the shock and turn her head to look at their savior.

Brian's face was red with effort, but his eyes were fixed on hers. "Since women and equal to us and all, could you help me out here?"

Maylene looked again. Brian was being held by a thick rope that was attached to a branch that hung low just above the waterfall, and with his other hand he was holding Phoebe, who in turn was hugging Evan's back with her legs and her arms, clinging to him for dear life. Evan was clinging to his notebook.

"I don't see how exactly I can help," Maylene said over the sound of the waterfall. "Unless that branch and yourself can hold my weight if I climb up."

"I think the branch and me will manage," Brian said with a smirk. "Now do it!"

She was about to tell him that just because she was a female did not mean he had the right to order her around, but decided she would save the lecture for another time. Instead, she turned with care and grabbed onto Brian's arm, while her other hand grabbed hold of his shoulder. The hand that was holding her collar began to make its way down her back, until it reached the small of her back to push her towards Brian.

"Hey! What are you doing?!" she barked at him, so embarrassed she forgot to be angry.

"Trying to help you! What did you _think_ I was doing?" he asked her teasingly.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – We Are Always Watching You**_

**Maylene**: Just to set the record straight, I was not having any kind of perverted thoughts when Brian held me– I mean, when he put those filthy hands of his on me. I felt insulted and treated like an object, nothing more.

* * *

Maylene blushed, but refused to aknowledge the fact that they were so close now that she could easily bite him if she wanted to. She began to climb again, putting special care in causing Brian as much pain as possible when she placed her feet in his shoulders and straightened her back. She then hung to the rope to keep her balance, while Brian urged her to go up.

"Hurry, woman! You are not exactly a ballerina, you know!"

Maylene clenched her fists, burning her hands against the rope, but she kept climbing. When she finally reached the branch, she saw that Brian was now holding Evan while Phoebe climbed.

"Now what?" Phoebe asked once the three of them where clinging to the tree. "Brian is still hanging there! Aren't you going to save him, Maylene?"

"_We_ are going to save him," Maylene corrected her. "...As soon as I figure out how."

While they discussed possible strategies, Evan had started sketching again, nevermind the fact that the pages were soaked. Maylene had to restrain herself from punching him when she saw him.

"I can't believe this! You're _drawing_ at a time like this?!" she snarled. "Phoebe, take away that sketchpad of his."

Phoebe looked unsure, and she turned to look at Evan. Then she clapped her hands in excitement, causing both Maylene and Brian to scoff in desbelief.

"This is brilliant! You're a genius, Evan!" Phoebe squealed.

"Did you say something?"

But Phoebe just took the sketchpad out of his hands and thrust it in Maylene's, who was pleasantly surprised. In it was the drawing of the three of them pulling the rope, and bringing Brian with it.

"This might work. Then all we'd need to free him is a knife."

"I've got one!" Brian told them.

"I'm not even going to ask," Maylene said. "Okay, guys, let's start pulling. One..." She grasped the rope firmly with both hands, as Phoebe and Evan did the same. "Two..." Brian squeezed his eyes shut. "Three!" They started pulling with all their strength, and this time Maylene had the satisfaction of insulting Brian about his weight: he really was heavy. "What did you have for breakfast? A dinosaur?"

"And where did you get that joke from?" Brian shouted back. "The writers of the show? Seriously, even Chris could've come up with something better."

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Who Watches the Watchmen?**_

**Chris**: Hey! *points to the camera* I resent that. Now I wish we had put Brian in Jessica's place instead.

* * *

**TEAM: THE DEADLY SHARKS.**

They found her surrounded by a ring of fire, trying to protect herself from the heat with her arms. She was still screaming, but by now her yells were incoherent and composed merely of horrified sounds, and somehow they seemed muffled by the cracking of the fire.

"We have to get her out of there!" Connor said. "I would gladly go, but even I know it ain't safe. And I don't want to end up in the hospital _again_."

"Now I wish my super-power was to walk through fire," Kelly complained.

"Chelsea, don't you know how to put out the flames?"

"Why the hell would I know?"

"Um, I don't know..." Aaron said sarcastically. "Maybe because you're a freaking pyro?!"

"That means I _make_ fire, not that I put it out!"

"Bad pyro! Bad pyro!"

"Shut up!"

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!" Kat and Dominic screeched together, causing all of their teammates to look at them in shock.

Kat flushed, embarrassed, but Dominic came to her rescue.

"We can't fight right now," he said, "we need to save Jessica! So everybody try to think of something!"

Connor raised his hand. "I know! Me! Pick me!"

"Just say it, dude!"

Connor opened his mouth, only to close it again. "Nope, I've got nothing."

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Cue the Facepalms**_

**Connor**: I thought I had a good idea, but then I realized – we don't have any balloons!

* * *

"I have an idea," Kat said, taking them all by surprise. "I'll need someone to hold me, though–"

Aaron's chest puffed up.

"No worries, Kitty, I'm–"

"Not doing it," Chelsea said curtly. "It's dangerous, Kat, you stay away from the fire."

Kat bit her lip, staring at the ground once again.

"I'll hold you," Dominic offered.

Kat's face lit up, whereas Chelsea's and Aaron's turned red with fury. Kat didn't see them as Dominic approached her and turned his back on her.

"Hop up."

She did so, blushing profusely, but with her blue eyes fixed on the fire ahead.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Everybody say 'Aww!'**_

**Kat**: I don't want to sound cheesy, but it was so nice of Dominic to do that! He completely trusted me, and he didn't make me feel insecure like Chelsea. I mean, I know she didn't mean it that way, but still... *blushes* I never thought jocks could be so nice. I think he's the only guy here I actually feel comfortable with.

* * *

"Okay, now all you have to do is get me as close to the flames as possible," Kat told him. "And then hold my weight when I stand up on your shoulders. Are you sure you can do that?"

"Please, I am a big jock, remember?"

Kat laughed softly and began to stand up on Dominic's shoulders, while the boy grasped her ankles firmly. The flames were dancing below her, and she could feel them heating her face from above. Still, she tried to ignore them and focus on the scared girl she had to rescue instead.

"Jessica! You have to take my hands!"

Jessica came as close as the fire would allow her, trembling with fear. Kat then stretched the upper half of her body in her direction, her belly almost touching the fire. "Do it fast!"

"Kat!" someone screamed behind her, making her nervous. Was it Chelsea? Was it Aaron? Were they both?

"Don't worry, you're doing great," Dominic assured her.

Kat winced in pain; she couldn't stand the heat much longer. Finally Jessica grasped her hands, and with incredible strength, Dominic drew back and saved them both from getting burned. She did feel like she was falling, but she was quickly caught by Chelsea, who smiled at her in an almost apologetical way. Meanwhile, Jess was being comforted by Dominic.

Kelly went to her, jumping up and down in excitement.

"That was incredible! You've got some wicked skills, Kat! Is flexibility your super-power?"

"Nah, I just did gymnastics when I was a kid," Kat explained in a voice that wasn't hers. She felt odd, ecstatic with fear and happiness.

"Let her breathe," Connor said, waving his arms to cool her down, "girl's just experienced her first real rush of adrenaline."

"Whatever, she could be hurt," Aaron said, making his way to her. "You sure you didn't get burned?"

"I don't think so..."

"Maybe you should take your clothes off so we can–"

He was quickly cut off by a punch from Chelsea.

* * *

**TEAM: THE STINGING BEES (OLIVIA, RIVER, & LAURA).**

Twenty minutes later, Olivia, Laura, and River were _still_ climbing their way to Mo. Olivia led the group, going as fast as she could, while Laura did the opposite. Mo watched them hopelessly.

"Don't go so fast," River warned Olivia, "you'll–"

Just then, the boulder Olivia was stepping on gave in, causing it to roll down the mountain like a deadly videogame obstacle. River quickly moved hiss weight to the opposite direction, just barely avoiding the obstacle. Laura, however, was not so lucky. The boulder hit her in the stomach, sending her flying... until the steep they had visited briefly stopped her fall. She landed there, completely unconscious. River looked down to check if she was okay, but then he heard Olivia's desperate struggle to regain balance. She was now grasping two boulders with both of her hadns, while her legs hang in the air, occasionally scratching the surface of the mountain in search of some support.

"Now this does not happen in videogames so much," River muttered.

"Need a hand?" someone screamed from the top of the mountain. River and Olivia looked up, and were so shocked to find their teammates – plus Brian – standing there that they nearly fell.

"Oh, no, we're having a blast here," River said sarcastically.

"Alright, then," Brian shrugged.

"Just hurry up, Baldie! I'm slipping, in case you haven't noticed!"

As expected, Maylene was the first to act. She threw the rope that had held Brian back in the waterfall, and Olivia caught it just as her fingers slipped from the boulders.

"Okay, you know the drill!" Maylene said. "One, two, three!"

Maylene, Evan, Brian, and Phoebe started pulling Olivia up, but when she was at Mo's level she screeched, "Stop! We have to save Mo!"

"Are you kidding me?" Brian said, "We can barely hold you as it is, Miss Piggy!"

Olivia sent daggers at him, but surprisingly, Maylene backed her up.

"We can manage," she said confidently. "Besides, we rescue Mo, and our team completes the challenge!"

"There's only one problem," Phoebe said. "Mo's still tied there."

"I have a switch-blade in my back pocket," Mo said, only to regret it the moment he saw the spark in Olivia's gray eyes.

"Then I'll get it!"

Her hands reached for Mo's back pocket, while the boy closed his eyes and waited for it to be over. After what seemed like a lifetime to him, she drew her hand back, holding the switch blade triumphantly.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Bringing the Funny**_

**Mo**: So I know that as a guy, I'm supposed to be all happy that a hot chick felt me up. But to be honest... *he shivers* It felt like sexual harrassment.

**Phoebe**: I know what Olivia was doing. *nods* Trying to make Brian jealous. That girl has it all planned.

* * *

As Olivia cut the rope that was tying Mo, the boy clung to the rope that was holding Olivia, causing their teammates to clench their teeth with the effort of their combined weight.

"I got it!" Olivia announced. "I'll keep it to–"

"Shut it, you're not helping!" Brian complained.

Finally they pulled them both up. Now the five of them looked down in despair. River was sweaty and could barely move, and Laura was lying unconscious and possibly injured.

"Larrie!" Phoebe yelled, using her hands as a loudspeaker. "LAURA!"

"I have to draw this," Evan said, "I'll never get a chance to see something like it again."

Phoebe burst in tears, while Maylene put an arm around her shoulders and squeezed her. "It's alright, she'll be okay."

"Yes, we'll save her," Olivia added, patting Phoebe's head. "We are a team, right?" She looked at Maylene, who smiled.

"Right."

"_This_ is what you should be drawing, Dork-o," Brian said deviously. "A little bit of girl lovin'." The three girls instantly separated and sent him angry looks.

"You... You sexist pig!"

"Take a chill pill, hun. It was just a joke? Ever heard of 'em?"

"Don't call me 'hun.' And I _do not_ need to take a pill of any kind!"

"Shut up, both of you!" Olivia screeched. When she got everyone's attention, she said, more calmly, "Now help me tie these two ropes together so that River can go down and get Laura."

* * *

**TEAM: DEADLY SHARKS.**

Although Chelsea had planned the arson – we mean, the fire – in such a fashion that the wind would carry it in the opposite direction, by now there was pretty much only one way they could go without meeting the flames: back. And that was exactly what they were doing.

Kelly was nowhere to be seen, but she could be heard from above every now and then.

"Wow, you should check out the view from up here, guys!" Now was one of those times. "It's all red and orange and yellow and black! So cool! It's like this painting I saw once–"

"Where is she, anyway?" Dominic asked. He was carrying an unconscious Jessica on his back, so he couldn't exactly move around that much to see for himself.

"I think she's in the trees," Connor said, looking up. Suddenly he grinned. "Say, that's a great idea! Tarzan-style! Woo-hoo!"

They all stared at him blankly as he jumped up a tree, and then disappeared among the leaves and the brunches.

"Anyway, I don't get why _he_ gets to carry her," Aaron whined, looking at Dominic with envy.

"Because he's the strong, nice jock, and you're the disgusting pervert?" Chelsea said.

"Hey!" Aaron said, looking very insulted. "Who are you calling disgusting?"

"It's funny how he doesn't deny he's a pervert," Kat mumbled.

"Not even he can deny that," Chelea chuckled.

"Hey guys!" Connor screamed from one of the trees. Oddly enough, his voice appeared to come from the opposite side of the tree he had originally climbed. "The others are on the _other_ side of the island! There's... eight of them!"

Aaron started counting with his fingers, while Kat gasped. "That means they already found two of the missing people! They're going to beat us!"

"Relax, Kitten, they're too far," Kelly's voice intervened. "They'll need a miracle to win! Which reminds me–"

"So will we," Chelsea muttered. Then she raised her voice. "Guys, look around and search for the missing camper!"

"You mean Topher?" Kelly asked. "He's not here. He's back at the beach with Chris and Chef."

"Yeah, and he's all bandaged," Connor added. "That must have been an incredible headrush, to get him all hurt like that!"

"Wait, if Topher's on the beach," Dominic said. "It means..."

"We're gonna win!" Aaron raised a fist to the air. "Alright!"

When they spotted the beach, Connor and Kelly nodded to each other.

"Let's do this," Kelly said. "Quietly."

"Woohoo," Connor whispered.

They jumped out of the tree in a second, and just as quickly they landed on each side of Topher, catching him by the armpits. Chris and Chef looked at each other.

"We got him!" Kelly announced, waving at her team, who was just then reaching the beach. "We saved him!"

"Saved him from what, exactly?" Chris asked.

"I saved skinny boy's ass," Chef growled. "After all the work we went through to put him in that bear's cave, he went and ruined it by tripping with the bear!"

"We had to drag him out before he got killed," Chris said, looking at his nails. "I need a manicure."

Topher certainly looked like he had been saved just before he died: he had scratches all over his skin, and the rest of his body was wrapped in bandages. He managed to let out a, "Can you please let me go? You're kind of hurting me."

"Whoops. Sorry, man."

"What does this mean, then?" Dominic asked, as he set Jessica on the sand.

"All I know so far is that since you've rescued Jessica, she's now on your team. And by default, Topher is, too." Chris shrugged. "We'll have to wait for the other team to arrive here to find out who won. Since this might take a while, I'm leaving you here with Chef while I go get a much-needed manicure."

Two and a half hours later, Chris arrived at the beach to meet all the very unhappy campers. Half of the Stinging Bees were soaked wet, while the other had bruises on their knees and knuckles. Meanwhile, the Deadly Sharks looked more tired and annoyed than ever. Even Connor, Kelly and Topher seemed annoyed. Chris, however, just smiled.

"Ah, the perfect manicure," he sighed, examining his fingernails proudly. "Anyway, how are you guys?"

Brian threw a pebble at him. Chris dodged it easily.

"I take that as a 'We're glad to see you, Chris,'" he said cheerfully. "Well, let's decide who won and who lost now, shall we?

"On one hand we have the Deadly Sharks, who arrived first."

The Sharks beamed. Connor and Aaron high-fived.

"Despite failing in rescuing the required second camper," Chris completed, smiling sadistically. He turned to the other team. "Stinging Bees, you split in two after a fight, which I'm not sure is fair to the other team."

Chelsea stuck her tongue at the Bees, and Brian had to be restrained from throwing a pebble at her.

"You said there aren't any rules!" Maylene protested.

"True. Anyway, you managed to rescue two campers." The Bees smiled, but those smiles were erased from their faces when Chris added, "Thanks to your unfair advantage over the other team."

"There's nothing in those non-existant rules against splitting the team up for a challenge!" Olivia snarled, stomping her foot in exasperation. "It's been done in other seasons all the time!"

"Again, true. You did quite an impressive job out there, with all of you facing mortal danger – which is good for the ratings. But the Sharks faced some perils themselves, too.

However, they set Boney Island on fire, and although that's even more awesome for the ratings, it's not so good for the budget. Or the lawsuits." Chris stopped smiling and narrowed his eyes. "Seriously, Chelsea, that was very uncool."

Chelsea just rolled her eyes.

"So, the winners are..." He paused, taking a deep breath as the members of each team exchanged worried looks and bit their fingernails. "The winners are..."

Brian threw another pebble at him. Chris barely managed to avoid it this time.

"Hey! I'm trying to build up tension here!" Chris complained. "And the winners are..."

…

…

…

…

…

"The Stinging Bees!"

The Bees jumped, forgetting their injuries and their exhaustion. Phoebe glomped Laura, who was conscious again, although looking a bit lost. Brian hugged Maylene so tightly the girl's face turned red, and Olivia and River smiled at each other before realizing who they were smiling to, and quickly turning away. Evan was still drawing in his wet sketchpad, unaware of what had just happened. Meanwhile, Mo and Jess looked at each other, only to look away again.

"Deadly Sharks, I'll be seeing your sorry asses at the campfire tonight. And Chelsea, don't you get any ideas," Chris warned the girl, seeing she was eyeing her lighter with a mischevious smile.

* * *

_**Confession Cabin – Oh, the Drama!**_

**Aaron**: So we have to vote somebody off. I can't vote for any of the girls, naturally, so that just leaves the competition. I'd like to eliminate Brian or Mo, since the chicks go wild for the criminals and the rock stars, but they're not on my team... *looks thoughtful* This might take a while.

**Chelsea**: Whatever. Chris knows the challenge wouldn't have been half as fun without the fire – let's face it, nothing is. He just made us lose because he's afraid the others will sue him. *rolls her eyes* What's wrong with a little fire? Pansies.

**Kelly**: Okay, so I totally know that it was Chelsea's fault that we lost, since she set everything on fire and we lost a lot of time doing that and all – but it was also ultra fun! I wouldn't change it for the world! I don't care if we lost, there'll be other challenges. Plus, everyone in our team is fun in their own way. *frowns* Which is going to make it really hard to choose who to vote off...

**Jessica**: That was not cool, Chelsea! You knew I hated fire, and you still burned the whole island? What the (censored)? Honestly! I could have _died_!

**Topher**: Sorry, Chelsea. It's nothing personal. But don't worry, everything will be OK. Just like I will – *he smacks a fly that's on the only uninjured part of his face* OW!

**Kat**: Who did I vote for? *sighs* I'd rather not say. I can't even confess in the confession booth, I feel so ashamed!

**Connor**: That was awesome!! Woohoo! Too bad we lost, though.

**Dominic**: *looks nervous* I hope Chelsea doesn't kill me for this. Or burn me. Or both.

* * *

**ELIMINATION CEREMONY – THE DEADLY SHARKS**

Kat sat on the log next to Chelsea's, looking around uncomfortably while Chelsea just flicked her lighter on and off casually. Aaron sat at the other side of Chelsea, much to her disgust. Connor sat next to him, talking to Kelly, who was right behind him. Next to her was Topher, smiling and changing his bandages while humming. At his side, Dominic and Jessica kept an eye on Chelsea's lighter.

"Welcome to our first elimination ceremony, losers," Chris said, earning glares from all the Sharks. "Sorry, but you are. I'll explain how this goes. On this plate I have only seven marshmallows," he pointed unnecessarily to said plate, "but there are only eight of you sitting before me. That means that whoever doesn't get a marshmallow must walk the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers, and leave. _For ever._"

"Gee, we would never have figured that out by ourselves," Jessica said sarcastically.

"Don't interrupt me. Ever. Now, you've cast your votes and picked your loser. So, when I call out your names, come here and grab a marshmallow. The first one is for... Dominic!"

Dominic smiled, and Aaron and Chelsea exchanged worried glances. Then Chelsea looked away.

"Kat!"

Kat blushed while Chelsea and Aaron made approving sounds.

"Connor!"

"Woohoo!"

"Kelly!"

"Oh yes, the Kellinator stays! Hey, that rhimes!"

"Aaron!"

"I'm sure the ladies will be pleased." He winked at Kat and then and Chelsea. "Especially my girls."

"Jessica!"

The prankster somehow managed to pinch Chris with her stick before he put her marshmallow through it.

"Hey! Not cool," he complained, rubbing his face. "Anyway, we're done to you two."

Chelsea sat straight, a dangerous look in her eyes. Topher just kept humming.

"And the final marshmallow goes to..."

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Chelsea."

Kat and Aaron sighed in relief, while Chelsea smiled slightly and went to get her marshmallow.

Topher looked depressed.

"Sorry, man," Aaron said to him. "I couldn't get my girl voted off."

"I am not your girl!"

"We're sorry!" Kelly said, giving the boy a hug without realizing she was hurting him. "Have fun at the secret resort!"

Topher smiled and waved at them when he catched the Boat of Losers. However, when the campers were out of sight, the boat turned and delivered him at a secret side of the camp.

"Welcome, new intern!" Chris greeted him.

Topher's eyes widened in fear.

* * *

NEXT TIME: A bonus chapter! Day 2 (and possibly 3?) at Camp Wawanakwa. Because I've always wanted to see what the campers do in their time off, so I'm going to explore that. Plus, the chapter will develop on the events of these past chapters and how the campers are dealing with them... and with the camp itself.

**

* * *

**

**Author's Note: First off, check out the amazing fanart NightxOwl drew of our beloved cast!**** You can find the link in my profile, in the "Stories" section of my bio. Don't forget to give her a cookie for her fantastic job!**

**About this chapter... it was a lot more action-packed than what I'm used to (in fact, I never write any action at all), so if it's crap, that's why.**

**As always, reviews are love and will earn you karma points!**


	4. Day 2

Disclaimer: Don't own TDI or its characters, only mine. The rest belong to their respective creators.

* * *

**Total Drama Again**

_**~by CamperThirteen

* * *

**_

**Day 2**

**"The Campers's Day Off"

* * *

**

**Chris**: As you know, we bring you a new episode featuring a challenge every week. However, the camper's schedule doesn't exactly work like that. They have a new challenge every three days, and so this week we're bringing you how they spent those first free days at camp. And trust me, it's almost as good as when they're yelling at each other in a challenge. *cackles*

**Topher**: I don't know how I never noticed before, but you're really mean, Chris.

**Chris**: What are you doing in here? Out! Go get me some lobster! And _try_ not to drop the plate this time, will you?

* * *

The night after their first challenge and elimination ceremony, the campers, losers and winners alike, had been expecting to come to the dining hall to find a welcoming, delicious, and well-deserved feast.

Instead, they met Chef's cooking.

"Ew!" Olivia was the first to complain. "Is this even _edible_?"

Chef Hatchet shot her such a glare that she backed away with her tray. River, who was behind her, started to back away.

"Who's next?"

River tried to turn around and escape, but Chef caught him by his shirt easily.

"Not so fast, scrawny kid," he said, putting another spoonful of the oatmealish powdery thing he called food on River's plate. "You're eatin' double!"

"I feel so special," River said sarcastically, before taking off with his tray.

"I can't believe this!" Maylene whispered once she and her team were all settled at their table, poking at the 'food'. "After everything they made us do on an empty stomach, they give us _this_?!"

"And I bet Chris is eating lobster," Olivia grunted.

"I have got to draw it," Evan said, taking out his sketchpad, which was inexplicably dry and unharmed. TV works that way.

"I don't care," Brian declared. "I'm too hungry." He took a spoonful of the thing, and his teammates gasped.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, man," Mo advised him. "It's not even food."

Brian shrugged, chewed, and to everyone's surprise, he swallowed. They waited, holding their breath, and half-expecting him to drop dead on the table at any second. It didn't happen. Brian just smirked at them and ate some more.

"At least we know it's not poisoned," Laura sighed. Her head was wrapped in bandages that looked suspiciously like Topher's.

"Here goes," Phoebe said, as she stabbed the food with her spoon.

Over at the Deadly Sharks' table, everyone had already gotten over the stage of disgust, and was moving onto the stage of trying to keep the stuff down.

Jessica munched thoughtfully. "Odd. Tastes like cement."

"I can't eat this," Kat complained, with tears in her eyes. She pushed the plate away and took a sip of water.

Chelsea patted her on the shoulder. "Come on, Kitty, it's not that bad."

"I could always feed you," Aaron offered.

"See? It could be worse," Chelsea said, shooting daggers at Aaron, who merely winked at her playfully. This only made her more upset. "Do you want me to burn you?"

"Guys, just chill, okay?" Dominic said.

His attempt to stop Aaron and Chelsea's bickering worked, but not in the way he had expected: for some mysterious reason he couldn't even begin to fathom, they both turned against him and shut up to properly glare at him. He didn't dare speak up again, or even raise his eyes from his meal.

"Hey, Chelsea, how about you set my food on fire? I've always wanted to eat something burning," Connor said, instantly breaking the tension.

"Ohh, I tried that once," Kelly exclaimed. "Wouldn't do it again though. It _burned_." She shook her head at the memory.

* * *

Morning found the male Sharks lazying around in their cabin's porch, watching the rain pour down from a dark sky, only to clash against the ground, creating a beautiful, constant sound that resembled music.

"Man, this sucks!" Aaron whined. "I wanted to swim in the lake today, and see the girls in their bathing suits!"

"You're lucky the girls are inside and can't hear you–" Dominic began to say, but interrupted himself when a shoe hit Aaron in the back of the head.

"The windows are open, you idiot!" came Chelsea's voice from inside the girls' side of the cabin.

"Ouch," Connor laughed.

"It's Cupid's Arrow," Aaron said, brushing the back of his head with dreamy eyes.

"Wow, you're even more of a masochist than I am," Connor said, astonished. "And that's saying something."

Inside, the girls were looking at Chelsea questioningly.

"What?" she asked, crossing her arms. "You would've done the same thing if you were me."

"No, if I were you, I would have set it on fire, and _then_ throw it at him," Kelly said from her bunk, where she was doing some impossible yoga-like positions. "You don't make a very good Chelsea, you know."

Chelsea giggled at that, but was cut short when Jessica planted herself in front of her, looking none too pleased.

"That was _my_ shoe!"

"Oops."

Kat, who was drawing in her bunk, put her sketchbook aside with a resigned sigh. "Chelsea," she said softly, not really wanting to get into a fight, but not wanting to watch one, either, "that... that wasn't very... um, nice."

Chelsea just smiled innocently. "It was an accident. Not my fault she leaves her shoes lying around."

"No it wasn't, and no I don't!" Jessica screeched. "You have something against me! First you set the island on fire, even though you knew I hate fire–"

Chelsea snorted. "Get over yourself! I did it because we needed to find people–"

"By setting the forest on fire?! Oh, what an excellent idea! FYI: we lost. Thanks to you!"

Kat decided it was time to intervene. She jumped off her bunk and landed lightly, just as Kelly, who was on the opposite side of the room, did the same.

"Hey, that was totally coordinated!" Kelly said. "We should do it again!"

"Besides," Jessica was saying, not paying any attention to Kelly or Kat, "the only reason you're still here is because you convinced almost everyone to vote Topher off!"

Kat decided it was the right time to step in. "Okay, girls–"

"Mind your own business!" Jessica yelled at her.

"Don't talk to her like that!" Chelsea suddenly looked very angry, and she took out her lighter. Before she could flick it on, though, Kelly snatched it from her hands in an unrealistically fast movement and jumped to Kat's bed.

"You can't have this," she laughed as she jumped to her bunk, and away from Chelsea. "You're not a proper Chelsea, so I'll be Chelsea now!"

"Give it back, Kelly!"

"No! Keep it, but don't set anything on fire!"

"Guys, just calm down, please!"

"Woohoo!"

"A catfight!"

The girls froze in their places: Kelly in mid-air (it's TV, people!) with Chelsea's lighter flicked on, Kat grabbing Chelsea's arm, Chelsea trying to reach Kelly with her free arm, and Jessica covering herself.

"Could you guys unfreeze now?" Dominic asked. "You're creeping me out here."

The girls started moving normally again. Kelly landed on all fours, while the lighter escaped from her hands and was caught by Chelsea, who dragged Kat with When they finally turned around, they found the three boys in their team at their window. Aaron and Connor looked excited, whereas Dominic looked worried.

"What are _you_ doing here?"

"The windows are open, remember?" Aaron said smartly.

Chelsea hit him with Jessica's other shoe.

* * *

Meanwhile, at the Stinging Bees's cabin, things were surprisingly peaceful. Brian and Mo were using their knives as swords and pretending to fight, Olivia was reading, River was playing with his DS, Evan was drawing, and Maylene was playing the cello – or trying to. She stopped and turned to Brian and Mo with a sweet smile.

"Sorry, guys, but could you maybe keep the volume down a little? I can't concentrate."

They stopped their pretend sword fight, but Brian looked at her crossly.

"I don't see anyone else complaining. And plus, you're the one who's making the most noise."

"I second Baldie," Olivia said flatly, her grey eyes not leaving the book.

Brian looked at her in surprise, and then turned his smug face to Maylene once more.

"I'm not 'making noise'. I'm making _music_," Maylene corrected him. "You think you can just get away with this because you're a guy and I'm a girl? So what I do is not valid?"

Everyone rolled their eyes as she started ranting and Brian started talking about how she couldn't take a joke. Olivia closed her book and got up. When she passed by River, she grabbed his ear and pulled, dragging him with her.

"I need to talk to you," she informed him, ignoring the kissing sounds Brian was making as she opened the door to the boy's side of the cabin and led him inside.

Once they were safe, she closed the door and turned to look at him. He was rubbing his ear.

"You do realize I'm not a kid."

"Whatever. This may be the only chance I get to be alone with you," she explained, looking around suspiciously. "Now that we're not in the middle of a challenge, and especially now that Maylene and the others are distracted..."

"What are you trying to say?"

"We have to talk. About us."

"Olivia, there's no 'us'. Whatever Maylene might have said–"

She smacked him in the arm and blushed. "No, you idiot! I mean about our _alliance_!"

"What alliance?"

"The one you agreed to be in when I took your DS. Do I have to do it again to make you remember?"

River held his DS to his chest. "No, please don't."

"Good. We should probably talk about our stratgegy and our rules now... Any ideas?"

"Rule number one: do not talk about the alliance?"

"That's a good one," Olivia agreed, not getting the double reference. "Rule number two: we help each other out in every challenge."

"Fine," River agreed. Then he smirked when an idea crossed his mind. "Rule number three: you don't drag me by the ear."

She smirked even more than he had, and he knew he was in trouble.

"Rule number four: you don't go to the challenges with your DS." River opened his mouth, but she didn't let him speak. "_Or_ your iPod."

River's eyes narrowed until they were nothing but blue slits. Oh, she was going to pay for that.

"Rule number five: you can't drool over Mo."

"Rule number six: you can't drool over Maylene."

"I do not drool over Maylene!"

"Yeah, right."

"I don't!"

Just then, Mo stepped inside the cabin, but looked shocked to find the two of them standing so close to each other, their faces flushed with anger.

"Sorry. Just came to get my guitar," Mo apologized, backing down a little. "I didn't mean to interrupt anything."

"There's nothing to interrupt!" Olivia said quickly, running to him. "Really, we were just talking!"

"...Okay," Mo said. His eyes wondered from Olivia, who was still standing in front of him looking desperate, to River, who had an amused expression on his face. "So... Can I get my guitar now?"

Olivia moved aside, completely embarrassed, while River snickered. She waited for Mo to leave to punch him in the arm.

"Hey! What was that for?!"

"What do you think? You just made me look like an idiot in front of Mo!"

"No I didn't. You already do that without my help." He put on a high-pitched voice and batted his eyelashes. "'Oh, Mo, please pay attention to me, nevermind the fact that you don't like me and that you treat me like crap. Mo, you're a musician, so I'm sure you must be sweet on the inside, even if you're a total jerk to me–'"

"Get out!"

"This is the boy's side, genius. You can't order me out."

Without a word, Olivia left, slamming the door behind her.

The people who were on the porch looked at her, confused, but she turned away quickly and ran to the communal bathrooms. Evan looked up from his sketchpad just in time to see her running away into the rain.

"Did I miss something?" he asked the others, adjusting his glasses.

"We all did, apparently," Mo replied, strucking his guitar.

"I should ask one of the girls to go see her," Maylene said out loud. "And you guys go ask River what happened, you got it?"

"She bosses us around even when we're not in a challenge..." Brian complained.

"I heard that!" Maylene shouted back, from the inside of the cabin.

* * *

In the girl's side of the cabin, Phoebe and Laura stopped talking the minute Maylene stepped inside.

"Hi, May!" Laura greeted her warmly. Then her face changed to show her concern. "We heard you arguing, is everything okay?"

"No, not really. Olivia was in the cabin with River..." Phoebe and Laura exchanged excited glances at this new development, "and then all of a sudden she stormed off and ran to the communal bathrooms. Could one of you go check on her? I'd do it, but we don't get along that well..."

Laura got up instantly. "Don't worry, I'll go."

She waved to the boys at the porch, noticing River was not among them.

"Hasn't River left the cabin yet?" she asked, trying not to sound too interested.

"No, he's too busy sulking, we suppose," Brian answered lazily.

Laura frowned, but decided it would be wise not to inquire further. Plus, Olivia would fill her in all the juicy details.

* * *

Back at the Sharks's side, girls and boys alike were now sitting in the porch, watching all the drama unfold in front of them. Jessica was as far away from Chelsea as Kat and Dominic had managed to arrange them, and was currently staring at Mo. When he realized she was staring, though, she looked away.

"I wonder what happened over there," Aaron said. "Maybe I should go comfort Olivia–"

Just then, Laura ran towards the communal bathrooms.

"Guess she beat you to it," Chelsea teased him. "Hate to see that happen."

"I'm so bored!" Connor complained. "Why do _they_ get all the interesting storylines?"

"Maybe, but _we_ get all the funny lines!" Kelly squealed. "And since we're fun and funny, we should play a fun funny fun game! Wouldn't that be fun? And funny?"

"If she says fun or funny again, I'm jumping from that cliff," Jessica muttered.

"Go ahead! I'll cheer you on," Chelsea said. "I'll even give you a little push."

"See? We're the funny ones!"

"So, what game should we play?" Dominic intervened.

"I spy, with my little eye," Chelsea chanted, "something with weird hair who thinks he's a lady's man."

Connor rose his hand, jumping in his seat. "Oh, I know! Me! Pick me!"

"Just say it, dude!"

"Is it Mo?" Connor asked, crossing his fingers.

"Hey!" Jessica said, sounding offended.

Chelsea smacked her forehead. "It's Aaron!"

"Okay, new game!" Kat said quickly. "Um... How about...?"

"How about Truth or Dare?" Aaron suggested, instantly perking up.

"That game's for idiots like you," Chelsea scoffed.

"Come on, it'll be fun!" Kat said, smiling at her.

"Alright. Just don't dare me to kiss him, or I'll puke," she warned them.

"Okay, I'll go first!" Kelly said. Before anyone could argue with her, she was already saying, "Jess, Truth or Dare?"

She sent Chelsea a defiant look before answering, "Dare."

"Good call, sister," Connor said, giving her a thumbs-up.

"Very, very, very bad call," Chelsea smirked. "I'm going to enjoy this."

"Your dare is..." Kelly rubbed her temples thoughtfully. "Mmmm..."

Jessica gulped, thinking this may not have been such a good idea. She had just asked the girl who jumped like a monkey to give her a dare, after all.

"Mmmmake out with Aaron!" Kelly announced, grinning evilly.

Chelsea's smirk vanished. "That's not a real dare! Why don't you make her drink the water of the puddles or something?"

"Why would I ask her to do that? That's gross!"

"Even I wouldn't do that," Connor put in.

"Don't be jealous, babe," Aaron told Chelsea. "You're still my girl."

"For the last time: I. Am. Not. Your. GIRL!"

"Can't we just get this over with?" Dominic said, irritated. "Jessica, do you accept the dare or not?"

Jessica looked at Chelsea, then at Mo, who was looking right at her from his cabin. "I accept it."

"Woohoo! Then rock on!"

Before Aaron even had time to prepare himself, Jessica glomped him, and in a matter of seconds they were making out so passionately it looked like they were trying to eat each other's faces.

"Ew," Kelly said, her face turning green. "That's kinda _gross-er_ than watching her drink water from a puddle."

"Yeah," Kat said weakly. Like most of her teammates – with the exception of Kelly – , she tried to look away, but failed miserably.

Chelsea, looking horrified, covered Kat's eyes with her hands. "Your innocence!"

"My eyes," Dominic whimpered, protecting them with his arms, "they hurt!"

* * *

Had Mo heard that comment, he would have agreed. As it was, he was stuck in his cabin's porch with his guitar, and his eyes were fixed on Jessica.

"I can't believe she's making out with that... that _guy_."

Brian didn't even look up from his knife, which he was currently sharpening using Mo's switch-blade. "Would you rather she made out with a girl? ...Oh, wait."

"What's with them, anyway?" Mo went on, looking at the rest of the team one by one: the hyper blonde girl with purple streaks, the mousy one with the sketchpad, the pyro, the jock that appeared disgusted by the sight of people making out, the guy that was cheering them on with his '_Woohoo!'_... "They're all so..."

"Weird?" Evan suggested, not looking up from whatever he was drawing. "Well, duh. They're the team of weirdos."

"You're one to talk," Brian said. Then he saw his own reflection on the blade, with the tattoo of the snake that appeared to be surrounding his skull, and proceeded to laugh like a maniac.

"They're the weirdos, alright," Maylene said, rolling her eyes. She had given up on practising with her cello, and was now just polishing it. Her reflection showed nothing but a primp, educated young woman. At least she could always count on herself to be normal.

* * *

Laura entered the communal bathrooms as quietly as she could, and immediately began to search for clues. She didn't have to look too far: the floortiles were covered in mud, and the more fresh footprints led straight to a girl sitting on the floor, her back pressed against the wall.

Laura went to sit by her side, careful to avoid the mud. She looked at Olivia to check for any traces of tears or some other clue, but there weren't any. And she wasn't saying anything, so it was up to Laura to speak up.

"So, what's up?"

"There's a spiderweb on the ceiling," Olivia answered blankly. "On the entire ceiling, actually. I think maybe it's _two_ spiderwebs–"

"No, I mean what happened?" Laura interrupted her. When she didn't reply, she looked at her intently and asked, "Between you and River? Oh my gosh!" she gasped, "You guys broke up?!"

"We're not even–" Olivia sighed, not even bothering to correct her. After a pause, she asked, "Do you think Mo hates me?"

"Of course not!"

"Do you think he likes me, then?"

"Well, I wouldn't say that exactly..."

Olivia hugged her knees and buried her head between them.

"River was right! I really am an annoying, clueless fangirl."

"He said that?" Laura asked, sounding more curious than aghast.

"Not in those words, but essentially, yes."

"But why were you in the cabin with him?"

Olivia blushed an looked up again. "Um..."

"Oh my gosh!" Laura squealed, grabbing Olivia's arm and shaking her. Olivia grew pale; had she figured out they were in an alliance? "He likes you! He was jealous!"

"...Let's go with that." Olivia's relief was so evident that she wondered how Laura didn't notice it. Probably due to her squealing.

"So, you wanna go back to the girl's cabin? Pheebs and I can do your nails. I have purple nailpolish!" Laura said temptingly.

Olivia was about to shoot back a sarcastic reply, but she decided this wasn't a time to get all _River_-like on someone who actually liked her and who treated her nicely.

"Sure," she smiled. "I'd love that."

"Great!" Laura exclaimed, hugging her. As they made their way out, she whispered, "And in the meantime I can tell you other things I couldn't tell you yesterday, because of River."

When they reached the cabins, they completely ignored their teammates's curious stares and entered the girl's side. Phoebe jumped from her bunk to meet them.

"Olivia, are you alright?" she asked her, truly concerned. "Were you crying?" She started to tear up, and Laura handed her a Kleenex. "Thanks, Larrie. It's just... this stuff moves me, you know?" she sobbed. "I'm too...," she blew her nose, "too emotional for my own good!"

"Everything's fine, Pheebs. We're doing Liv's nails! Isn't that awesome?"

Phoebe immediately stopped crying, and threw the Kleenex away to hug Olivia and Laura, nevermind the fact that they were wet because of the rain.

"Oh, yay! That's such good news!"

"Yeah..." Olivia muttered. She wasn't so sure about that.

They heard the sound of their door creaking, followed by Maylene's hesitant voice.

"So, is everything OK?"

"What do you care?" Olivia said nastily.

"I was just trying to... You know what? Forget it." Maylene shook her head, deciding it wasn't worth it. "Laura, could you come here for a minute?"

Laura gave Olivia an apologetic smile before following Maylene outside.

"So, did you find out what happened?" Maylene asked Laura in what she thought to be a low voice. Apparently it wasn't low enough, because Brian snickered.

"Why so interested, gossip girl?"

"Shut up! I'm just worried. This is supposed to be a team, you know! We can't have people fighting the second day already!"

"I'm pretty sure we've all been fighting since day one," Mo said quietly.

Laura ignored them, and just began to whisper in Maylene's ear. The girl's eyes grew wider by the second, and when Laura was finished, she gasped.

"I can't believe it!"

"It's true."

"He's so going to get it–!"

"But wait!" Laura said, stopping her. "We should hear his side of the story first. We don't want to jump to any conclusions, do we? Maybe it'd be best if a guy went to talk to him."

They looked at their male teammates: a rock star, a spacey artist, and a criminal with mental problems.

"Poor River," Laura sighed. "He's doomed, no matter how you look at it."

Maylene almost agreed with her, but she wasn't about to let her team down. With her hands on her hips and her chin raised high, she issued her command.

"Alright, Brian! Time to do something useful and go talk to River."

Brian didn't even look up.

"And why would I wanna do that, Team Mom?"

"Because our team needs it, I'm too mad to talk to him, and you're the only one who scares him enough."

Brian shrugged. "Anything to shut you up, dear."

"Ha-ha."

* * *

Brian found River lying on his bunk, playing with his DS. He seemed just fine to him, but he wasn't about to go back and tell that to Maylene. The woman wouldn't allow him to come back without an answer; and he really had had enough of her nagging for a lifetime.

"So, River," he said flatly, resting his back against the closed cabin door, "the Team Mom sent me to find out what happened between you and Drama Queen. Now start spilling, or I'll start beating you."

"Nothing happened," River answered, pressing the buttons in his DS only slightly more fiercly than before.

"Come on, even Drama Queen doesn't get upset over nothing. What did you say to her?"

This time, River hesitated.

"I... I may have implied that Mozart hates her guts."

"So you told her the truth," Brian stated, not missing a beat. "Big deal. Girls are such whimps." He paused, suddenly horrified. "But don't tell Maylene I said that! Or she'll never shut up about it!"

But River wasn't listening to him.

"Well, I was kind of cruel to her..."

Brian opened the cabin door and rolled his eyes at him.

"Whatever, dude. No one's going to bite you out there... well, Maylene might... But seriously, you should just come out."

* * *

"Now it's my turn," Jessica said, wiping her mouth with her sleeve. Aaron was looking very much like Olivia when she thought about Mo. Chelsea slapped him.

"Snap out of it!"

"OW!" Aaron blinked, then smirked at Chelsea. "Aw, honey, you jealous?"

Chelsea slapped him again, this time on the other cheek.

"Chelsea!" Dominic and Kat scolded her.

"What? He needed it."

"Anyway, Jess, shoot!" Kelly exclaimed. "Who are you going to pick? What's it going to be? Truth or Dare? Oh, sorry, that's you. Hehe."

"Chelsea. Truth or Dare?"

Chelsea glared before crossing her arms defensively. "Truth."

"Great," Jessica said, grinning. "Then tell us why you _really_ set Boney Island on fire."

"Because I'm crazy and I'm out to get you," Chelsea replied, rolling her eyes. "Is it my turn now?"

"No!" Jess protested. "You have to tell the truth!"

"Fine. I did it because I hated the stupid island, and I was in a crappy mood, and I felt like setting things on fire. You happy now?"

"So you admit that you wanted to burn down the whole island?"

"What is this, a police interrogation?"

"Hey guys!" Dominic interrupted. "It's dinner time!"

Everyone took the hint, including Aaron, who got up and grabbed Kat by the elbow. The girl stared at him, but he gave her a knowing wink. Soon enough, Chelsea appeared to have forgotten about Jessica in favor of rescuing Kat.

"Let go of her, perv!" she shouted. Aaron smiled and obeyed without a complaint.

As Chelsea and Kat made their way to the dining hall, Dominic approached Aaron.

"That was rather nice of you," he told him.

Aaron shrugged. "What can I say? I'm a nice guy. Chicks dig that, I find," he added the last comment with a certain twinkle in his eyes, and Dominic looked away.

"Yay!" Kelly squealed, making both boys leap in surprise. "Let's go roast us some Chef's food, peeps! Come on, Jess!" she tried pulling Jessica's arm, but the girl shook it off.

"I'm not hungry," she said before turning her back on them and heading inside the cabin.

Kelly looked sad for a second, but she went back to squealing and running around her teammates talking at impossible speeds in no time.

"It's dinner time, you guys!" she said when they passed the Bees cabin. Everyone was sitting in the porch, looking rather moody. "...Okay then."

"Is anyone going?" Phoebe asked, getting up.

"I would, but I'm not done with Olivia's nails," Laura said, smiling. Olivia shrugged.

"I would, but I'd rather survive on my meds," Brian said.

"I'm going," Maylene scowled at the rest of the team, "and you should too. We need to have energy for tomorrow."

"Tomorrow's another day off," River pointed out flatly. He was in a corner, playing with his DS, and occasionally eyeing Olivia guiltily. "We hardly need any energy for another day in this dump."

Evan looked up from his sketchpad just then. "Did anyone say something about dinner?"

* * *

NEXT TIME: Day 3, "The Campers's Not Day Off". Yes, another non-challenge chapter. It will feature Topher, sunshine, and the two teams interacting. And more drama, of course.

* * *

**Author's Note:**** So there you have it, the famous 'day off chapter'. I know it seems like it's just filler and crack, but the developments here will affect the challenge chapters, just like real life would. Plus, I like writing this stuff, mostly because nobody else ever does this in their 'Another season' stories (that I know of, that is. **And if they start doing it now, I'm gonna go Courtney on their butts!**).**

**Also, I wanted to tell you guys that the fic is up in the Total Drama Island Fanfiction wikia, where you can find links to all the character's profiles with their respective pictures and descriptions. You can even edit them yourself! So if there's something you want to add about your characters, go ahead!**

**Oh, and NightxOwl drew more pics! Isn't she awesome? The link's in my bio. This time it's scenes from the chapters. Since we've given her enough cookies already, let's reward her with karma points this time!**

**As usual, if you see any grammar/spelling/misc mistakes, please let me know!**

**R&R, love and peace and all that jazz.**


	5. Day 3

**Total Drama Again**

_**~by Camper Thirteen**_

**

* * *

**

**Day 3**

"**The Campers's Not Day Off"**

* * *

The following day they all rose to find a clear sky and a sun that shone so brightly it even made the crappy camp look somewhat cheerful. After the long-awaited swim at the lake – which was met with disappointment, seeing as the waters were polluted – the campers dried off at the dock. It was the first time both teams were together since the day they had met, and Kelly decided this was a good occassion for everyone to get to know each other.

"Let's begin by asking each other questions!" she said cheerfully, running around the dock. Unlike the other campers, she didn't want to slack off, as it was her personal belief that only lizards should be allowed to do that.

Brian raised his hand. "I'll start. How many meds do you take every day?"

"None," Kelly replied, her happy smile never leaving her face. The others exchanged looks; she was acting like Brian had just asked her what her favorite color was.

"Yeah, I figured," Brian said, smirking. This earned him a particularly painful pinch, courtesy of Maylene. "What the hell?!"

"Don't say things like that!" she whispered. She was in a very bad mood since no one had cared to listen to her argument about male swimwear versus female swimwear, and how it was another sexist thing that they ought to change. "You're so rude and insensitive."

"Who are you to boss me around?" Brian asked her in a low voice, though his tone was no longer playful. He was starting to regret his idea of sitting next to the girls. "My parole officer?"

"Yeah, Maylene, what is it with you and bossying people?" Olivia added irritably. She was sitting next to Laura and Phoebe, so she could hear the whole exchange perfectly. "Can't you just stop sticking your nose in everyone's business?"

While this was going on, Kelly had continued her interviews as if there had been no interruption in the narrative.

"So, Kat, what is your idea of a dream date?"

Kat looked at her hands, blushing furiously. She was suddenly very much aware that she was in her swimsuit, completely soaked, and that everyone was staring at her. What she did not realize was that Dominic, Aaron, and Chelsea all looked as if they were about to start writing down her answer.

"I don't know," she said shyly. "I think... maybe a quiet dinner and a walk by the beach would be nice."

Her three love interests nodded, taking mental notes of that.

"That's so cute!" Kelly squealed, hugging Kat and petting her head. "You remind me of this hamster I had once." She pulled away, looking for her next victim. "Let's see... Mozart! Do you agree with Kat's idea of a dream date?"

"No. I mean, that's just not my style," he said quickly. "My dream date would have to include a concert somewhere."

"OK! Next!" Kelly began to search again. Her eyes finally fell on the skinny boy that was sitting next to Aaron, but remained a little withdrawn from the rest of the group. "You! You, um..."

"River," Connor whispered, none to subtly.

"River! What are you always playing in that DS of yours?"

River didn't raise his eyes as he responded with a sardonic, "Videogames."

"Don't try to get anything else out of him," Olivia sniffed. "That's all he cares about."

Maylene glared at her, whereas the rest of them looked shocked or bored, depending on which team they were on. Kelly, sensing the tension, moved on to pester Connor about his favorite sports, which resulted in Brian pointing out how she asked completely random questions.

Aaron decided to take advantage of this distraction to help out a fellow brother in need.

"I don't know what you did," he said to River, "but you could try apologizing, you know."

River snorted. He had visibly turned paler since Olivia had spoken, but now he looked even more shaken.

"To _her_? Please. I'm glad she's not bothering me anymore."

"Yeah, I can tell," Aaron said, frowning slightly. He expected sarcasm to work on a cynical guy like River, but when it was clear it didn't, he decided to switch tactics. "This is actually better for you, you know. That girl's a royal pain in the ass. And to top it off, she's dumb."

"Olivia's not dumb," River said quietly, but firmly.

Aaron had to repress a smile. "So, good riddance, huh?"

River muttered something under his breath, but Aaron went on.

"I mean, she's always complaining or acting like a spoiled brat–"

"Yeah, because you know her so well," River said sarcastically.

"...and when she's not whining, she's lost daydreaming about 'Mo' and how perfect he is–"

"That's enough, man," Dominic intervened. He knew what Aaron was trying to do, but he also knew that River was the type who kept everything inside, and as such he wasn't likely to give in anytime soon. It was better for both of them to just drop the subject.

"Whatever. It's not like I care," said River, clutching his DS. "He can badmouth her all he wants."

Aaron shrugged at Dominic. "Some people are just too stubborn to be reasoned with."

Over at the other side of the dock, Jessica was thinking the exact same thing of Mo.

"Still acting like you don't know me?" she asked him, clearly annoyed. They hadn't been on civil terms since the end of the first day, but at least then he spoke to her (even if it was just to shout at her).

Mo yawned pointedly, and turned to Evan. "Whatcha drawing, man?"

"Fine, be that way," Jessica scoffed. "What did I ever do to you?"

"Nothing," Evan said, confusing both Mo and Jess, as they didn't know whose question he was replying to.

Suddenly, the fifteen figures of the teenagers were darkened by a shadow looming over them. They turned around only to find the devil's spawn himself, Chris McLean.

Everyone gasped. Somewhere, the creepy music from Boney Island could be heard.

"What are you doing here?" Dominic asked, horrified.

"This is our day off!" Aaron added in a tone that indicated he was ready to run if necessary. "You shouldn't be here."

"Someone please tell me I'm hallucinating again," Brian said.

Chris only grinned evilly, feeling taller, handsomer, scarier than ever...

"Yo, pretty boy!" Chef shouted, irritated. "Can I turn the music off now?"

Chris slapped his face. "I was having a moment here! But yes, you can."

The campers shivered in fear, until Chef turned the scary music off and Chelsea snapped, "Just get up! He's not even taller than us!"

"...Thanks, Chelsea," Chris said.

As the others followed her lead, Chris cleared his throat to gain their full attention. He wasn't about to let that pyro rob him of the spotlight.

"Now, I know your next challenge is not until tomorrow," he began to say, rejoicing in pronouncing every word that left his perfect mouth. "But you need to practise for that. You don't want to disappoint the viewers, do you?"

"You mean _you_ don't want to disappoint them," Olivia said.

"And it looks like I'm not gonna! I must say, Olivia, you keep that attitude of yours, and you'll boost our ratings! You'll become the next Heather!" He gave her a two thumbs-up, while she looked appalled.

Brian snickered at that, which cought Chris' attention.

"Oh, and you too, Brian. And Maylene! You two have potential. The next Duncan and Courtney, I'll say."

"Who are those people and why should I care?" asked Brian, while Maylene turned a deep shade of red.

"Boy, and they say I ramble a lot!" Kelly commented. "You sure are random, Chris."

"I take that as a compliment, Izzy-wannabe."

"See? There you go again! And I'm not even on the Bees team."

"Can't you just tell us what this is all about and leave?" Jessica asked, exasperated.

"I will, Eva number two," Chris replied, not missing a beat. "Tomorrow you'll be performing for us. Each team will be given a script, and each camper will be assigned a role. Your job for today is to learn your lines and to practise your performance." He chuckled. "And trust me, you'll need to practise. A lot." He chuckled again.

He then produced a bunch of papers out of nowhere, which he began to hand to the contestants.

"Enjoy your not day off!" he called out as he left.

"That man seriously needs a date," Phoebe said, shaking her head in a disapproving manner.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – We Are Back, Baby**_

**Chris:** For the record, I do not need any dates. I get plenty of dates! Hello, I'm the handsomest host ever!

*Someone knocks the door of the confessional*

**Topher:** (outside) Chris, you have a phone call.

**Chris:** See? *smiles triumphantly* All the ladies want me.

**Topher:** It's your mom.

**Chris:** *pauses* OK, that better gets edited out.

**

* * *

_Confession Camera – Again_**

**Maylene:** I was so embarrassed when Chris compared Brian and I with Duncan and Courtney from the first season... *her eyes widen, and she blushes* Not because there's any point of comparison, mind you! I just felt insulted that he would even _imply_...

**Kat:** I hate big audiences! They make me so nervous... *looks at the camera, then shrinks* Oh... *gets out quickly*

**Aaron:** A performance? *cracks his knuckles* Alright! Chicks dig actors, and I'm sure that with my good looks and charm, I'll rock this thing.

**Jessica:** *with her arms folded tightly across her chest, and looking angry* This is just great. No day off, Mo's giving me the silence treatment, and Chelsea... Argh! Don't even get me started on that nutjob...! *pauses* I hope I don't make the mistake of calling her that to her face.

**Olivia:** *sighs* ...I'm not even in the mood to complain about Chris. *sighs again, then straightens her back and looks confident* But I won't let it show! I'm a great actress. I'm sure no one has even noticed.

**Phoebe:** Olivia is a little depressed. *tears up* It makes me so sad to see her suffering like that! Why can't she just realize Brian is her soulmate already? *she sobs*

**Laura:** *hands Phoebe a handkerchief* There, there. Everything will be alright. We'll get Olivia and Brian together in no time! I'll help, so cheer up, Pheebs.

**Phoebe:** *still crying* Okay. I'm so touched you care so much, Larrie! *cries even more* You're so nice!

**Laura:** *pats Phoebe's shoulder*

* * *

Half an hour later, each team was assembled near their respective cabins, reading the script and cursing Chris for ruining their day off.

"This looks oddly familiar," Dominic said as he skimmed through the text. "Even some of the lines ring a bell..."

"Hey! Why am I your sidekick?" Aaron complained loudly. "That is so not fair! I'm not a sidekick. I'm pure hero material. Just look at this handsome face," he added cockily, rubbing his chin.

"Can't argue with you there. That face could be your super-power," Chelsea said mischeviously. "You could scare people just by smiling creepily – Oh wait." She cackled, and Aaron's eyes narrowed.

Kat, sensing what was coming, hurried to come up with a different subject. She didn't have to think too much, as the subject had been on her mind ever since she had read the script.

"We have a serious problem here," she said gravely.

As she expected, both Aaron and Chelsea forgot their exchange and looked at her, silently urging her to go on. As she hadn't expected, though, Dominic was doing the same. She blushed and looked away, trying to focus.

"I'm not acting material," she began. "Much less heroine material. I think Kelly is more suited for that than I am."

"But I can't, silly, I'm a super-villain!" Kelly interjected. "Oh! I should practise my evil laughter. Mwahahahaha!" She stopped when she saw the scared looks of her teammates. "Too much?"

"A little," Connor replied, his voice cracking.

"At least one of us is properly cast," Jessica commented.

"But we can't just change roles," Dominic said kindly, looking at Kat. Obviously he was the only one who remembered the original track of the conversation. "I don't think Chris will allow that."

"As much as I'd like to humor Chris and switch places with you, Kitty, I have to agree with him on this one," Chelsea said, not before sending Dominic a nasty look. Then she looked at Kat, and she became a lot nicer. "We can't afford to lose another challenge. I'm sorry."

Kat, on the other hand, looked miserable.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Awwww!**_

**Dominic:** I felt so bad for Kat there. I can't act to save my life, either, but at least I don't have stage fright like she does. And she's such a sweet girl, too... She doesn't deserve to be humiliated by Chris.

----

Dominic frowned. He wished he knew how to help.

Then, suddenly, Connor's hand shot up in the air. "Oh! I know! I know!"

"Just say it, Connor!" they all said at the same time.

"How about we pretend to be Chris and the other guys while Kat practises?"

His teammates blinked several times, then exchanged glances. As crazy as it sounded, that might actually work.

* * *

Sadly, things weren't working out so well for the other team.

"Alright, who wants to go first?" Maylene asked, her hands planted on her hips. She looked over at her teammates: they were all sitting down, reading their scripts and trying to supress yawns. "Come on, guys! Get up! We need to practise!"

Olivia and Brian exchanged bored looks.

"Is she our director or something?" Olivia asked him.

He shrugged. "She's the Team Mom."

"Figures."

Phoebe, seeing this, squealed and hugged Laura.

"It's so on!" she whispered. "They are all over each other."

River snorted to signal his disbelief. Unfortunately, this caught Maylene's attention.

"River!" she exclaimed, beaming at him. "Why don't you start?"

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Setting the record straight**_

**Maylene:** Don't get me wrong, I'm still upset about all those things Laura told me River said to Olivia – even if I don't like her – but no one deserves to be treated like scum. _Women_ were treated like that, and are still being treated like that in a lot of ways *the video fast-forwards Maylene giving another extensive rant* …and there's no way I'll ever go againt my ideals! *the video fast-forwards again* ...so yeah, even if I'm not liking Olivia or River very much at the moment, I will be the bigger person here and turn the other cheek. Otherwise, this team will fall apart!

* * *

River didn't seem too pleased, but he grabbed his script with both hands and began to read his lines out loud, in the most monotone voice he had, "I really hope the evil minions have not seen us, or we're doomed. But they don't scare me. Ha. Ha. Ha."

Laura whispered something to Phoebe, and they both giggled. That was the worst acting they had ever seen.

"You're supposed to laugh there, River, not _read_ the laughter," Maylene explained, rubbing her temples. She sighed. "Nevermind, go on."

"I laugh in the face of danger," River went on, acting just as emotionlessly as he had before. "Ha. Ha. Ha."

"Could you be any less enthusiastic?" Brian said, sounding more amused than exasperated

"Don't interrupt!" Maylene scolded him. "Okay, River, now you have to, um..." She read the text, her eyes widening in disbelief, "'drop to the floor and start crawling with a knife between your teeth'? Then some..." she narrowed her eyes. "No, this can't be right."

"Wanna borrow my glasses?" Evan offered, already handing her his blue-rimmed glasses to her with a dead-serious expression on his face.

"I think she can read just fine, Evan," Phoebe told him. When the boy didn't react, she took the glasses off of his hands and put them back on.

"Oh. Thanks," he said. "I was starting to wonder why I couldn't see so well."

Maylene tugged her hair, scowling. "This is impossible!" she snapped, throwing her script on the floor. "And seriously, mummies? There aren't even any mummies cast! What the heck, Chris? What the _heck_?!"

* * *

_**Confession Camera – LE GASP!**_

**Brian**: *looking shocked* I've seen a lot of meltdowns before, but Maylene's was a total shocker. Even more than that one time this guy started stabbing everyone at juvie. *he pauses, frowning* Or was it at the loony house? I can't remember.

* * *

"Yo, Maylene, _relax,_" Brian said, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her slightly. "Breathe slowly now."

"I... can't... The script... The performance..."

"River sucks. Nothing you can do about it."

River frowned, but he didn't protest. Maylene, meanwhile, kept trying to steady her breathing.

"Why don't we move on to the next scene?" Laura suggested.

"But River can't master his scene yet!" Maylene squeaked, visibly getting agitated again. "What are we going to do?"

"OK, I tried," Brian sighed. "Evan, go get my meds from the cabin."

"You can't stand her any more, either?" Olivia asked him.

"Yes, but they're so we can shove them down her throat," Brian answered flatly. "That should keep her quiet for the next twelve hours or so."

That was all it took to get Maylene to react. In a second, she slapped herself, and shoved Brian off.

"You sick pig!" she shouted. "How dare you?! You think that just because I'm a woman that gives you the excuse to sedate me because I'm expressing myself?!"

Brian looked at Evan. "Please bring them. They're in my drawer."

"Yes, please," Olivia supported him. "I can't stand her lectures."

"No, they're for me this time," Brian said resignedly.

* * *

The Sharks, minus Kat, were all sitting on the ground in front of a stage they had improvised by using a log. Kat, standing on it, was holding her paper and looking at them. There was a part of her that wanted to run and hide, but another just wanted to burst out laughing – they looked absolutely ridiculous.

Connor had what seemed to be a green and black scarf draped around his head, and was pretending to frown disapprovingly, his arms crossed. At his side, Kelly had exchanged her usual clothes for a skirt and a shirt, and to match her preppy outfit she was wearing an equally preppy-like expression. Next to her, Jessica had a white headband on, and was currently pinching Aaron, who was playing with a videogame. Since Kat wasn't scared of Laura, Phoebe, or Evan, and since they lacked enough teammates to pull their roles off, Dominic and Chelsea were Chris and Chef, respectively. Dominic had an 'evil' grin plastered on his face, while Chelsea wore a chef hat made out of paper.

"You gonna move it, soldier?!" Chelsea yelled, in a chillingly-realistic impersonation of Chef. "We ain't got all day! Well, pretty boy here does, but I sure don't! I have nasty food to cook!"

"And I have to do my nails," Dominic added, still grinning uncomfortably. "And my hair."

"And I forgot to take my meds this morning," Connor added, feigning an eye-twitch. The scarf that immitated the tattoo on Brian's shaved head started to fall off, and he readjusted it with clumsy fingers. "So yeah, you move it before I do, like, some craaazy stuff. Because I've been to juvie and a mental institution and all."

Kelly smacked him.

"Shut up and let her get on with it! Sheesh, you men think you can get away with anything just because of your sex!"

"Here we go," Jessica said, rolling her eyes. "Ohh, I wonder what Mo is doing..." she said with a dreamy expression. Somehow, this part of her acting didn't seem so much of an act.

"Not thinking about you, that's for sure" Aaron said in a monotone voice that was so unlike his own that it strained Kat's ears just to hear it. "Now let me play my games in peace, you... you... you impossible Sim character."

_

* * *

Confession Camera – Go Let it Out_

**Aaron**: Alright, so I don't know much about videogames and stuff... I don't even know why they chose me to play that River guy. It's so obvious I would have made a better Chris than Dominic.

* * *

Again, Kat had to resist the urge to laugh. Instead, she focused on her lines and began to recite them out loud, "I don't know how you managed to escape the world's..." she squinted her eyes to make sure she was reading what she thought she was reading, "..._bestest_ mummy tomb with its super-ultra-awesome security..." she paused, "...voodoo-_thingies_ all by yourself, but it ends now!" She pointed a finger to the audience, not looking very convinced.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – We hear ya**_

**Kat**: I don't know what's more embarrassing – to have to perform in public, or to read this atrocious script out loud. Seriously, who writes this stuff? Chris?

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Chris uses it more than the campers!**_

**Chris**: *crosses his arms* These campers clearly can't appreciate talent when they see it.

**Chef**: That's what I always say.

**Chris**: What are you doing here anyway?

**Chef**: I've got as much right to complain as you do, pretty boy! You know what those skinny teenagers tried to do to my cooking?! They wanted to burn it!

* * *

After a pause (and the rather menacing glare Chelsea shot them), the team got up and started cheering.

"Yeah! That was great, Kitty!"

"That's my girl!"

"That's even better than my evil laughter!"

"Woohoo!"

* * *

Things weren't working so well for the Bees. Only two members of the team were left standing; the others had sat a long time ago.

"I'm telling you, we just have to pretend that we're being chased by mummies!" Maylene sighed, pointing her script in Olivia's direction. "Have you even read this?"

"Of course I have! And don't you _dare_ point that thing at me!" Olivia said, slapping Maylene's script away from her face.

"Do you think the other team gets along as badly as we do?" Mo asked Brian worriedly. They were taking a break from rehearsal, and as usual, they were sharpening their blades.

Brian nodded, examining Maylene and Olivia from the reflection in his blade. "Yeah. Didn't you hear Chelsea and Jessica fighting today?"

Mo bit his lip, but didn't dare to voice his concerns. He was a guy, after all, and he was talking to _Brian_, of all people. He couldn't just start talking about his feelings like they were a couple of girls at a tea party.

Still, he couldn't resist but asking, in the most casual way he could, "You don't think... Jessica will be the next to go, right?"

Brian stopped staring at the feuding girls' reflection to put his knife over one knee.

"Nah, it'll be Chelsea, or that shy chick," he said pensatively. "The guys will team up against one of them."

"Probably..." Mo said, though he seemed unsure. Then his face brightened. "Hey, maybe we should do the same and vote one of the girls off."

Suddenly, Brian raised his knife again, and Mo backed off before he realised he was just holding it the way he had been before.

"I think we should vote the useless members first, regardless of sex," he said quietly. "Maylene and Olivia might be annoying, but they're both smart. River too."

They both looked to the other members who were left: Phoebe, Laura, and Evan. The first two were apparently practising their lines, though it seemed that involved a lot of whispering and giggling. Evan was just doodling on his script.

Laura shocked both Mo and Brian when she got up without warning.

"I'm going to the bathroom," she announced to Maylene and Olivia, who weren't paying any attention.

As she made her way to the confession cabin, Laura put extra care in walking on the grass so that her steps would be muffled by it. In truth, she had just heard someone go to the confession cabin, and was hoping to eavesdrop on them. Who knew, maybe the other team may have some juicy gossip for her!

Her heart beat faster when she noticed the door was shut. Someone was inside, just like she had expected. She pressed her ear to the right side of the cabin, so that she wouldn't be seen by anyone, and waited.

She heard nothing but her own heartbeat.

Laura frowned. Maybe the cabin wasn't occupied after all...

She was about to open the door, when it swung open and hit her in the forehead, knocking her off balance and causing her to fall to the ground.

"Laura? I'm so sorry!" a familiar voice said. "Are you OK?"

Laura had already received a head injury during her first challenge, so she thought the damage had just worsened, and that she was now seeing things. She stared at the familiar person's hand uncertainly. He couldn't possibly be real.

"You're really hurt, aren't you? I'm so stupid! Sorry..."

He helped her stand, and Laura thought his hand felt just as real as his voice. Maybe she wasn't hallucinating.

"I'll take you to the infermery. You need to change those bandages."

Finally she was able to say, "Topher?"

He smiled brightly. "That's right! You remember my name! That's a good sign."

"But didn't you get voted off?"

Topher's smile vanished.

"Um... Yeah," he said uncomfortably. Then he smiled again, "but hey, if you remember that too, that's another good sign!"

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in that secret resort they send the losers to?"

"Oh, look, you're hallucinating again! A bad sign! Gotta go!"

He left, but he hadn't gone far when Laura heard him trip and fall. She found him nursing a bleeding knee.

"I'm sorry your team voted you off," she said kindly. "You need a hand with that?"

"No," Topher said nervously, careful to avoid eye contact. "I've got it under control."

He produced a few bandages out of nowhere, and began covering his injured knee with them. Laura then realized that those were the exact same bandages she was wearing on her head.

"I knew these bandages looked familiar!" she said. "They're yours!"

"Yeah, Chris says there's no need to waste money on that stuff when I've got so many." Suddenly he looked alarmed. "Forget I said that. This is all a hallucination, a product of your mind..." he said in a hypnotizing voice, as he got up and started walking away from her, but still facing her, "nothing's real..."

"Watch out for that–!"

Topher let out a howl of pain when his back hit a tree.

"...tree," Laura finished weakly. "Topher? You OK?"

"I'm a hallucination... This is all in your head."

"Is your bleeding in my head, too?"

"I'm bleeding?!"

"It's OK, Topher," Laura said, returning the favor by helping him get up. "And no, you're not bleeding."

Topher sighed in relief, only to look alarm once again.

"You can't tell anyone you've seen me! Chris will kill me!"

"Oh, I won't tell," Laura said, with a big smile. Just as Topher was smiling back, she added, "But you have to tell me a few things."

* * *

_**Confession Camera – DUM DUM DUM!**_

**Laura**: That was _too_ easy. I feel a little sorry for Topher, though.

* * *

NEXT TIME: "You Perform or you Die" AKA: the second challenge

* * *

Author's Note: Crappy chapter is crap. I have no excuse. I can suggest that you check out **Total Drama: Again in the wikia**, where you can read the story with the accompanying pictures NightxOwl drew, as well as comment on your favorite characters, quotes, moments, etcetera. If you could give me a hand with the characters' profiles, I'd appreciate it :)


	6. Day 4

Disclaimer:Don't own anything, in case you're still wondering.

* * *

**Total Drama Again**

_**~by CamperThirteen**_

_

* * *

_

**Day 4**

"**You Perform or you Die"**

* * *

After the unpleasant surprise of the previous day, the campers where expecting to be awaken by Chris at a diabolic hour, but instead, they woke to the sound of screams coming from the girls' side of the Deadly Sharks cabin.

"What the hell is that?" Brian mumbled, still half-asleep and semi-drugged from his meds. He popped his shaved head – remember it's _shaved_, not bald – out of his cabin and tried not to see double.

"It's worse than listening to Miley Cyrus," Mo complained, protecting his ears with his hands. "Make... it... stop..."

"What is it?" River whined from his bunk.

Brian tried to make his vision focus on something, but found himself staring not at one, but at _two_ Maylenes. These Maylenes had their glossy black hair pulled up in a tight knot, but otherwise they looked pretty. And shockingly enough, they weren't scowling at him.

"Two Maylenes," Brian answered, his speech slurry like a drunken man's. "I must be hallucinating."

"Are you?" the Maylenes asked him worriedly, though he could hear only one voice, despite the fact that their two mouths were moving. "Do you need any help?"

"It's just sleeping pills," Mo said, his voice muffled by the pillow he was using to cover his head. "He'll be fine. What I'm worried about are those animal shrieks!" He grunted, and pressed the pillow harder.

"May!" Phoebe's voice came from the other side of the cabin. River cursed under his breath. "Larrie says she sees fire!"

Maylene's dark eyes widened. "Oh crap."

They all got up immediately, screeching, "CHELSEA!"

As they left their cabins still in their sleeping wear, Evan stuck his head out of the cabin and put his glasses on just in time to see the ruckus: a smoke column was rising from the Sharks' cabin, as the flames licked the wooden walls. Outside, several boys and girls were screaming and jumping around the fire, making the whole thing look like some dance to invoke rain.

"What happened?" Evan asked when he arrived at the scene. He had brought his sketchpad with him, naturally, as these things weren't seen everyday.

A tall guy with dirty-blond hair that he identified as Dominic of the Deadly Sharks looked at him.

"Something caught fire in the girl's side of the cabin," he explained in a tone that indicated he wasn't exactly surprised.

"Luckily, the Kellinator saved them in time!" Kelly added, surprising Evan by grabbing him by the shoulder to turn him around and take a look at what he was drawing. "What are these boring scenes of your teammates fighting?" she faked a yawn, and then she shook him with a bright smile on her lips. "You should draw my rescue instead!"

"OK," Evan said, still a little perplexed at the blonde girl's feisty attitude. "That might not be such a bad idea."

As Evan began a quick sketch of the fire, Jessica and Chelsea began a very loud fight.

"This is all your fault, you crazy pyromaniac!" Jess scowled, pointing a menacing finger at Chelsea.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Red Herring Alert**_

**Jessica:** I know it was you, Chelsea! You'll regret this, I swear!

* * *

"Are you really as dumb as you look?!" Chelsea yelled back. "Why would I even set my _own_ cabin on fire?!"

Jessica looked ready to jump at her, and Chelsea looked more than eager to fight back. Kat immediately put herself between her two teammates.

"Guys, instead of fighting, shouldn't we be thinking of a way to... you know, _stop_ the fire?" she said. "Anybody got any ideas?" she asked to the rest of them.

Phoebe shook her head sadly, while Laura and Olivia shrugged. Brian was too drugged still, and Aaron was too busy checking out the girls in their pajamas to even register the question.

"We could bring some water from the lake," Dominic suggested. "Anybody got a bucket?"

"Too difficult," Maylene said. "Someone go get the pipe from the bathrooms."

Connor, Kelly and Dominic rushed to follow her command, while Olivia whispered something into Laura's ear, causing them both to burst in laughter, and Maylene to scowl.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Welcome to Girl World**_

**Maylene:** What is this, Mean Girls?

**Laura:** I heard what Maylene said in here, and I'm sorry she feels that way. But Olivia's right, she is bossy.

**Olivia:** Sorry, Maylene, but I don't recall anyone electing you Team President. Oh, and I know what you said about me. *points her finger at the camera* Not cool! My hair does _not_ look like a dead animal. And by the way, if this _were_ Mean Girls, you wouldn't even be a supporting character. You'd be one of the extras. The _lame_ ones.

* * *

Despite River's sarcastic comments about how _sure_ he was that this was going to work, Maylene's plan to connect the pipes to go from the lake to the burning part of the cabin worked, and in a matter of minutes, the fire started to die. Too bad most of the girls' side of the cabin had died with it.

"All of our things!" Jessica said. "Even my skateboard!"

"My sketchpad!" Kat sobbed. Chelsea put an arm around her shoulders.

"Don't worry, you can borrow our clothes," Laura said compassionately. "And I'm sure Evan will spare you some pages, Kat."

"But where are we going to sleep?" Jessica snapped. "We hardly have a roof at all!"

The minute she had pronounced the word 'roof', the last tile fell and landed amidst the ashes.

"Great. This is all your fault!" she turned to Chelsea, who looked taken aback. "I knew you'd end up burning something again, you–!"

"She didn't do anything!" Kat interrupted her, her face flushed from anger. "Chelsea wouldn't put our lives in danger like that!"

Everyone looked surprised that the shy girl had yelled like that, including the shy girl herself. But Jessica recovered quickly.

"Um, yes she would! Am I the only one who remembers that she burned down Boney Island?!"

"Come on, that was a challenge!" Aaron interjected. "This is different! She'd never set fire to a secluded building where she herself is sleeping! Think a little."

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Good advice, Aaron!**_

**Chelsea**: I'm very grateful to Kat for standing up for me, and even to Aaron, to a certain extent... But really, hearing Aaron telling another person to think was just... *she cackles*

* * *

"Breakfast's in ten minutes, soldiers!" Chef's voice announced from the loudspeaker. "Move it or you don't eat!"

"Don't they even know there was a fire here?" Olivia asked to no one in particular. "How's that even possible? We're surrounded by cameras!"

"It's TV, honey, get used to it," River said, before remembering they weren't speaking to each other.

Olivia did remember, though, and she made it very clear by crossing her arms and lifting her chin.

"Laura, please tell River I'm not talking to him," she sniffed.

"OK!" Laura said brightly. She then turned to River, and said very seriously, "River, Liv's not talking to you."

River rolled his eyes almost to the back of his skull. "Really? I had no idea."

"That's why I'm telling you," Laura answered, either not catching the sarcasm dripping from his voice or not caring. "I'm here to help."

* * *

They all headed to the cafeteria, determined to complain to Chef. All except for one. Jessica remained in what was left of her cabin, trying to put the burned pieces of her skateboard back together.

"Need a hand?" a voice she knew all too well said. It sounded guilty, but Jessica was in no mood for that right now.

"I thought you were giving me the silent treatment," she said without so much as a glance over her shoulder. She would _not_ aknowledge his presence.

"Sorry about that," Mo said. He sounded sincere. "And about the fire."

Jessica didn't want to forgive him so easily, but she was too grateful that someone was on her side for once to even care about her resentment.

"That wasn't your fault. It was Chelsea's."

"What makes you so sure?" Mo asked her uncertainly. "Maybe–"

Jessica stood up to face him.

"Um, hello, she's a freaking _pyro_!" she started. This time, she didn't want to be as honest as she usually was, but she couldn't help but adding, "I thought you of all people would believe me!"

She stormed off, leaving a very confused Mo behind.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – We know**_

**Mo**: Man, girls are complicated!

* * *

Mo arrived at the cafeteria to find every camper at their respective seats, quietly eating their gruel. They didn't look up when he shut the door behind him, despite the fact that the sound seemed almost like thunder breaking the ominous silence that reigned there.

Chef filled his tray with more violence than usual, and Mo went to sit next to Brian, right in front of Olivia. Oddly enough, instead of trying to strike conversation with him, she looked away.

"What's going on?" Mo whispered to Brian.

Instead, it was Maylene who replied.

"We complained about the fire," she explained in a hurried whisper. "You're lucky you weren't here."

For once, neither Brian nor Olivia complained about Maylene butting in.

"He threw a knife at us," Brian said. "It would've been impressive if he had actually aimed it at one of us."

"Impressive?!" Maylene said, managing to sound indignant and angry despite the fact that her voice was hardly audible. "He could've killed someone!"

"Exactly," Brian said flatly.

Maylene looked ready to start another rant, but was interrupted when Chris arrived.

"Good morning, happy campers!" he said, grinning as usual. They all glared at him. "Oh, yeah, still a bit touchy about the fire? Don't worry, it was just a minor incident that will be edited out so that there are no lawsuits and stuff."

"And what about _our_ stuff?" Chelsea asked angrily. "And our bunks?"

"Oh, that," Chris waved an arm as if to shake off an annoying fly. "Chill, you'll have warm beds and new clothes by the time you end... today's challenge!"

All the campers groaned and cursed. Brian threw a spoon at Chris, managing to hit him in the head. He and Mo high-fived, while Olivia giggled.

"That could put us at a disadvantage, you idiot!" Maylene screeched.

"I agree," Chris said. "Not cool, Brian, dude."

Brian shrugged and said to Mo, "It was worth it."

Olivia giggled again, earning a scowl from both Maylene and River. Phoebe, on the other hand, looked delighted.

"Yes!" she told Laura in a whisper, "she's finally realised Brian is her soulmate!"

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Do we hear Denial?**_

**River**: The only thing Olivia has realized is that Mozart doesn't give a crap about her. Now the only problem is that she's turned her attention on someone who's even worse. But whatever. It's not like I care.

**Maylene**: I thought Olivia hated Brian. *crossses her arms* Not that I care. *stares at the camera* I don't!

* * *

"OK, Kat, you ready to rock this thing?" Aaron said as they exited the cafeteria.

"I guess... but first I'd like to get dressed," she said, blushing.

"Nevermind, we'll ask Laura and Phoebe for clothes!" Kelly said eagerly. "Those two are really nice, unlike..." she put on a creepy voice, "Olivia and Maylene."

"So _they_ are lending _you_ their clothes?" Aaron asked, wriggling his eyebrows. "Make sure to borrow those mini skirts–" He was cut short by Chelsea, who hit him hard on the head.

"Pervert. We're not wearing anything even remotely short."

Fifteen minutes later, the Shark girls emerged from the Bees cabin wearing tiny shorts, tight shirts, and short skirts. The only one who didn't look uncomfortable with this was Kelly, who always wore shorts. The rest of the girls, however, were red with embarrassment.

"Don't say a word," Chelsea warned Aaron.

* * *

Both teams met at the filthy, broken site were there had once been an amphitheater. All that was left of it was a stage with several holes and a thick film of grey dust covering the floor. The stagelights were broken or had fallen, and the seats were rotten.

"I think I'll sit on the floor," Laura said, and the others imitated her.

"As you all know, yesterday I gave you scripts and asked you to memorize them," Chris said. He walked in front of them, with the run-down stage as a background. "Now it's time to see which team delivers the best performance!" He rubbed his hands, chuckling evilly. "This is gonna be _awesome_!"

"I beg to differ," River muttered.

"Since the Stinging Bees won the first challenge, you'll go first," Chris said. He ignored their protests and went on, "Good luck up there!"

"Alright, everyone!" Maylene exclaimed. "Remember, just like we practised!"

"You mean like you made us practise a hundred times," Olivia corrected her. She was about to add something else when Laura put her hands on her shoulders.

"Come on, it's all for the best. At least we can be sure we'll win."

* * *

_**Confession Camera – The Puppeteer**_

**Laura**: You can thank me for that. *smiles* If Topher hadn't spilled the beans, I probably would've let Olivia win and not have the team memorize the script at all. Thankfully, Maylene is easy to persuade.

* * *

The floorboards creaked under the weight of the Bees, but they ignored it. The team took a few steps backwards, leaving only River and Mo in front of them.

"I really hope the evil minions have not seen us," River recited, with all the emotion of a person who's reading a Calculus textbook out loud, "or we're doomed. But they don't scare me. Ha. Ha. Ha. I laugh in the face of danger. Ha. Ha. Ha."

Chris made a face, while the Deadly Sharks resisted the urge to laugh. Maylene just cringed, already on the verge of a panic attack.

River then proceeded to crawl, followed by Mo. They were about to pronounce their lines when a rain of arrows flew over their heads, almost cutting Mo's mohwak in two.

"What the hell was that?!" Mo shouted.

"That's not in the script!" Chris denounced. "One point less for the Bees."

River and Mo exchanged a panicked look.

"Just repeat your lines!" Maylene said, biting her fingernails.

"And try not to die!" Brian added. Maylene glared at him. "What? That's what you should have said. Aren't you the Mom?"

"Apparently they did see us," Mo said, obeying Maylene's command. He was supposed to act as if he were frightened, but this time he didn't need to act. "But where are they?"

"I really hope that what it said on the script–" Laura began to say. She interrupted herself when three people emerged from the holes on the stage. They were wrapped from head to toe in Topher's bandages.

"Mummies!" Mo yelped, not acting anymore.

"Looks like someone found us," River said, trying his hardest not to let his fear show. "But not so fast!" He leapt to his feet, and raised a fist in the mummies' direction. "My super karate-fu moves will destroy you!"

"Why were they even crawling if they could stand?" Kat asked while River and Mo fought the mummies. Chelsea shrugged in response.

Much like in the script, the mummies were kicking River's and Mo's butts, although this was more due to the fact that the two boys didn't know any type of martial arts, and were reduced to kicking and hitting thin air.

"That's just sad," Connor commented, shaking his head. "They're even worse than those ninjas we fought at Boney Island."

"OK, Laura, it's our turn!" Maylene said. Laura mumbled a hardly-audible response before she was dragged by the arm to meet the mummies.

"You guys are pathetic," Laura said, not sounding very convinced. "Thankfully, we're... um..."

"We've come to the rescue!" Maylene said. "We'll take care of these mummies, now you go face the Evil Lord!"

Mo and River nodded, astounded, and pretended to flee.

Maylene approached one of the mummies confidently, and pretended to hit it. To her immense surprise, however, she was hit back. The blow was so powerful she lost her balance and fell.

"But they're supposed to be acting!" Brian complained.

"I never said that," Chris said. "I said you had to deliver the best _performance_, remember?"

"Then you mean all the stuff on the script is going to be _real_?" Phoebe asked.

"Everything except for the lasers," Chris replied. "Not enough money for that."

"But our script doesn't have any lasers," Evan said, blinking.

"That means the other team's does," Phoebe explained patiently.

Maylene bit her lip and tried to get up, but her foot was stuck in one of the holes. A mummy came at her, its arms lifted like a zombie's, but she couldn't get out...

At the same time, Laura was walking backwards to avoid the approaching mummy. What she didn't realize was that she had not been looking back, and that she had walked straight into the other mummy's open arms. Bandaged fingers closed against her arms, sending shivers downer spine.

"Relax," a familiar voice whispered into her ear. "Just pretend to hit me with your elbow and I'll do the rest."

Laura didn't have time to question Topher, as she quickly did was she was told. Topher pretended to groan in pain as he let go of her, and when she escaped, she saw him trip and fall against the other mummy, knocking it to the floor.

"Three points for the Bees!" Chris announced, and their team cheered and applauded.

"Laura! Help!"

Laura turned to see Maylene narrowly avoiding the remaining mummy's blow. Her foot was stuck, and she appeared to be unable to move.

Without thinking it over, Laura ran to the mummy and pushed it with all her strength. The mummy fell on another hole, sending chunks of wood and clouds of dust flying in several directions.

"And two more points for the Bees!" Chris said. Laura and Maylene hugged. "Now let's move it to the final scene."

Laura helped Maylene get out of the hole, and the two girls joined River and Mo on one side of the stage. Opposite them, Olivia sat in Brian and Evan's linked arms.

Mo, Laura, and Maylene gasped, while River just raised his hands to signal his surprise.

"_You_'re the Evil Lord?!" Laura shouted, pointing at Olivia.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – You Gotta Love Irony**_

**Olivia**: I don't get why Chris insists on portraying me as a villain! (yelling) I'm _nice_! ...OK, maybe I'm not as nice as Laura, but still, I'm not evil!

* * *

Olivia only laughed like a maniac as she was placed on her feet by her minions, Brian and Evan.

"You've managed to escape my mummies, but you will not escape them!" Olivia said, making grand gestures with her arms.

Brian and Evan prepared to attack their teammates, but four ninjas appeared seemingly out of nowhere and attacked them instead.

"Dammit, Chris!" Brian groaned when one of the ninjas trapped him, allowing another of them to hit punch in the stomach.

"That's not in the script, dude. One point less."

Evan, fortunately, had the ability to recite all of his lines perfectly, and in sinchrony with the hits he received.

"These guys are tough," he recited in a monotone voice that was similar to River, only instead of dripping with cynicism, it dripped with innocence, like a child's. "Let's go warn the Evil Lord before it's too..." he waited until one of the ninjas pinned him down on the floor to whisper, "...late."

Olivia slapped her forehead.

"Stupid minions," she grumbled. No one could tell if she was acting. "If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself."

She put on a brave face as she raised her fists, but that face fell when something that appeared to be a large rock landed near her. Her pale face turned even whiter, but when she looked up she saw a couple of interns throwing more rocks of all shapes and sizes onto the stage. One of them was aimed at Maylene, while the other was already on its way to River's head.

"River, your DS is on the floor!" Olivia shouted.

In a flash, River was on all fours, looking for his missing videogame. The rock hit his lower back, and he let out a hiss of pain. Olivia ran to him just as Maylene's knees were hit by a rock, causing her to fall backwards and land painfully on her back.

"Act three, scene two: the temple collapses," Evan pointed out, as casually as if he were talking about the weather.

Phoebe grabbed him by the collar and shook him, tears in her eyes.

"Aren't you the least bit worried?" she asked him.

"About what?"

Phoebe was cut short when one of the rocks landed on her head, knocking her out.

"That wasn't on the script," Evan commented.

In view of the chaos, Laura whistled.

"Come on! We're supposed to leave the temple, remember?"

Mo gulped, narrowly dodging a rock as he made his way to Phoebe. He lifted her easily, securing her on his shoulder. With his free hand he held Evan's wrist and began to make his way across the stage, his eyes looking ahead.

"Watch out!" Jessica warned him.

Unfortunately, Mo looked in her direction instead, and a rock hit his foot. Upon hearing Jessica's warning and Mo's following scream of pain, Brian was able to spot his three teammates and come help them.

The Sharks glared at Jessica.

"What team are you on?" Chelsea asked her crossly.

The two girls started shouting at each other, while on stage, the ruckus continued. Evan had had to be led by Brian like a blindman. Meanwhile, Laura was helping a semi-conscious Maylene up. A few feet away, Olivia helped River walk, but a rock blocked their path, and they had to walk around it. Laura, on the other hand, seemed to have an invisible umbrella: all the rocks somehow managed to avoid her. She was the first to arrive at the end of the stage, followed closely by Brian and Evan. They looked at their approaching teammates, and Laura gasped.

"Pheebs!" she exclaimed, seeing her unconscious friend being carried by Mo.

She ran to her with Brian, who lifted her off of Mo's shoulders to carry her himself.

At the top of the stage, one intern was about to throw an especially large rock in their direction when Topher noticed. The boy pretended to lose his balance, causing the intern to leave the rock to catch him.

"Sorry," Topher apologised. With the corner of his eye, he spied Laura and her team finally reaching the end line, while his former teammates grunted in unison.

Chris blew a whistle that hadn't been on him before.

"And... The End!" he called. "Bees, get off the stage and come over here."

The Bees managed to did as they were told, but they were a pathetic sight to behold: Mo was clutching his injured foot, River had to rely on Olivia to stand, Brian and Laura were panting from exhaustion, and Maylene and Phoebe were barely conscious. The only one who looked as if nothing had happened was Evan.

"That was _awesome_!" Chris said. "Like watching a movie that's so bad it's good!" He wiped a tear out of his eye. "Awesome!"

"I'm sure," Maylene said, blinking several times, her breathing unsteady, "this... is... illegal."

Chris showed her the contract, "This baby say it isn't."

"Just tell us what getting our asses almost killed earned us before Maylene has a seizure," Brian said.

"Well, as awesome as it was seeing you run for your lives, this challenge was about who delivered the best performance, not about pesky details like trying not to get hurt. You were supposed to stick to the script, and you all failed at that. The acting? Pathetic. And Olivia! You were supposed to be the villain! I don't remember the script saying you could help the heroes escape."

"Guess I don't do evil very well," Olivia said sarcastically.

"Unless you were deliberatelly pretending to be good to hide your evilness," Chris said, scratching his chin thoughtfully. "That'd be just like Heather."

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Hello, Heather?**_

**Olivia:** For the last time, I am NOT Heather! *points to the camera* I'm onto you, Chris!

* * *

"Anyway, let's see the score!"

Chris pointed at some point over his head. All the campers stared, but they saw nothing.

"Just pretend there's a score bar there," Chris said, irritated. "Anyway, I gave five points to Laura's performance, but you guys started with a deficit of one point thanks to River's suckiness, and then lost another when Brian cursed me. And since none of you followed the script by the end, I take another point. That means your final score is of two stars out of five!" he announced, grinning.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – What gave it away?**_

**Brian:** Yeah, I don't know what *making air quotes* 'method' Chris used to judge us, but _something_ tells me it was completely random.

* * *

After the Bees' loud protests had been silenced, the curtain fell. The sounds of footsteps and voices could be heard behind it.

Laura looked around. Her teammates were complaining about the challenge amongst themselves, while the Sharks were talking in low voices. Chris was sitting in a comfortable chair, reading a script.

She sighed in relief before sneaking off behind the curtain.

Like she had suspected, the interns were removing the rocks from the stage and arranging some other things. Topher was getting up (apparently he had tripped with a rock), and hadn't noticed her. She tried to catch his eye, but he only carried on with his work. Finally, she threw a small pebble at him.

"Laura!" he mouthed once he saw her.

He followed her to an area behind the stage, and there Laura proceeded to pound her fists on his chest furiously.

"Why didn't you tell me about the ninjas and the rocks?!"

Topher winced, but he was too used to receiving injuries to complain. Still, it would be better for him not to have any broken limbs, because he was pretty sure Chef's medical talents didn't go so far. So he grabbed Laura's wrists gently to keep her fists away from his skinny chest.

"It would have looked a little suspicious if you knew," he explained calmly. "I already helped you enough as it is."

"Yeah, but someone could've been hurt! Mo nearly broke his foot!"

"They weren't real rocks, silly. They were just props, and I replaced them with lighter ones in any case."

Laura was at a loss of words.

"You did?" she finally managed to say.

Topher nodded eagerly.

"Couldn't do anything about the ninjas, though. They were determined to fight for some reason."

"Wow... you actually _outsmarted_ me," Laura said, impressed. "I'm glad you were voted off so early."

"Um... thanks?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that..."

"Intern T!" someone shouted from the stage.

Laura raised an eyebrow.

"Intern T? That's lame, even for Chris."

"I know," Topher sighed. Then he raised his voice to shout back, "Coming!"

* * *

Meanwhile, the Sharks were trying to come up with a plan of sorts.

"From what Chris said, it seems we can't say anything that isn't on the script," Dominic said reasonably. "You got that?" He looked at Connor and Kelly in an almost menacing way.

"Sure," Kelly said eagerly. "I can recite the script by heart now. I've been on three plays–"

"And what do we do if someone gets hurt?" Jessica asked, cutting Kelly off.

"Depends on who they're playing, genius," Chelsea responded, rolling her eyes. "The villains help each other, and so do the heroes."

"Are you done whispering?" Chris asked them, butting in. "The Bees are complaining again, and I'm really sick of listening to them."

The Sharks split up and headed to the stage, not looking very happy about the prospect of whatever Chris had in store for them. After what they had just witnessed, Boney Island was beginning to look paradisiac compared to this.

"Phoebe is right," Aaron muttered. "Dude really needs a date."

His teammates muffled/stiffled their laughter behind their hands, but they quickly forgot what was so funny when they saw the stage. There was a web of ropes rising just a few centimetres above the floor, supported by nails and sticks.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – No Comment**_

**Kat:** *rolls eyes* Now that was a _creative_ replacement for the lasers, Chris.

* * *

Dominic and Aaron exchanged a look, but did not dare to open their mouths.

"And action!" Chris said.

"Lasers," Jessica whispered, loud enough for the audience to hear her. The worry in her voice was completely real. "Maybe we should back off–"

"No!" Connor said. He didn't close his mouth for several seconds.

"Because...?" Jessica urged him. She wanted to whisper the words to Connor, but everyone was watching. All she could do was raise her eyebrows and nod.

"Because..." Connor struggled to come up with the lines. "You know... the... The villain would kill us!" he said triumphantly.

But it was too late. Chris was already shaking his head.

"Forgetting your lines – not good, dude. And after all the effort I put in writing them! One point less."

* * *

_**Confession Camera – ADD?**_

**Connor: **So I don't have a very good memory... But it was like, an entire page to memorize in one day! Not even Superman could do that!

* * *

While the Bees celebrated Connor's mistake, Jessica looked at them. She smiled when she saw Mo wasn't cheering along with the others; and he smiled back.

When Jessica turned to head for the 'lasers', Brian slapped Mo's head.

"Hey!" he protested. "What's the matter with you?!"

"It's for your own good, man," Brian told him in a low voice. "You gotta stop being so obvious, or someone is going to use it against you."

Mo turned his back on him and cursed in Italian, but he didn't argue. Deep down, he knew Brian was right.

Back on stage, Jessica and Connor were managing to avoid the 'lasers' by walking on their tip-toes amidst the ropes. They moved at a snail's pace until they finally reached the end, where a statue made of cardboard was standing. It was supposed to represent some Egyptian god or a pharaoh, but it looked more like a deformed granny wearing a hat.

"Where's the jewel of powerness?" Connor asked. This was his line, but he was being serious. "I don't see it anywhere."

"It must be inside the statue!" Jessica exclaimed in a false voice.

They felt the cardboard thing with their hands, until Jess pulled out a necklace with a rock hanging from it. The rock was painted blue, but it was still remarkably cheap how Chris props were.

"I have it!" Jess said, her tone always the same. "Now let's go!"

"Not so fast, you scum," said Chelsea, who appeared from behind the cardboard statue. "If I were you, I'd put it back before the heroine arrives."

Suddenly, Kat appeared from behind Chelsea. Her cheeks were burning, and her chest was rising and falling rapidly.

"I-I-I don't know h-how you managed to escape the world's... bestest... mummy tomb with its super-ultra-awesome... s-security voodoo-thingies all b-by yourself, but it ends... now!" she managed to say, not looking very convinced. She pointed an accusing and trembling finger at Connor and Jess.

"Stage fright," Chris said, clucking his tongue. "Tsk, tsk, tsk. Another point less."

Everyone glared at him, even the Bees.

"Poor Kat," Phoebe whimpered. She was now conscious, though Laura had had to wrap her head with bandages that looked very much like Topher's.

"He's such a bully," Laura agreed distractedly. She was looking for Topher, but all the interns had seemed to disappear.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Especially when you're blackmailing them!**_

**Laura:** What use is it to have contacts when they're not there when you need them?

* * *

Biting her lip to keep herself from cursing Chris out loud, Jessica proceeded to do what exactly it said on the script, even though it seemed almost cruel to even pretend to hurt Kat right now. She tackled Kat, knocking her down as gently as possible, while Connor followed her lead and did the same to Chelsea.

"Awesome!" said Chris. "Two points!"

"What?!" Olivia stood up, fuming. "That is so unfair!" she accused. "They barely did anything! _We_ had to fight mummies! _And_ ninjas!"

"Sorry, I just planned your script first; by the time I got to theirs I was running out of ideas," Chris smirked.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Lampshading, anyone?**_

**River:** Well, that explains almost all of the inconsistencies.

* * *

Olivia stomped her foot, but was forced to sit down again by Laura and Phoebe.

Meanwhile, Dominic and Aaron had made their entrance on stage, and were currently wrestling Connor and Jessica, respectively. Aaron seemed to be enjoying himself until Jessica hit him in the groin.

"Hey, that wasn't on the script," Chris accused. "Awesome, but not on the script. Minus two points."

* * *

_**Confession Camera – On going for the kiwis**_

**Jessica:** You know you would've done the same thing if you were me!

**Chelsea:** Jessica's going to get it! We were doing great until that!

**Aaron:** *with a strained face* Totally... worth it...! *bends over*

* * *

"And they're back to zero," River observed. Brian and Mo high-fived.

"Not so fast!" Kelly screeched. No one knew if she was adressing them or just reciting her lines. "You'll have to kill me before I let you escape with the jewel of powerness, mwahahahaha!"

While the contestants and Chris cowered in fear, Kelly extended her arms towards her teammates.

"Fly, my little babies, fly!" she said, still laughing like a maniac.

A swarm of gulls flew like darts from behind her, and headed straight to her teammates... and to Kelly herself. She didn't realize this until one of them got trapped in her hair.

"Get off, bird!" she growled, her teeth as sharp as razors. "Off, off!"

* * *

_**Confession Camera – We're scared too**_

**Dominic:** Before today, I thought Kelly was the nicest girl here – after Kat, obviously – but now I'm kinda scared of her.

* * *

"Where are those gulls coming from?" Maylene asked. Phoebe pointed to Chef, who was sitting in a machine that closely resembled a giant submachine gun, except it used gulls as ammunition. Maylene made a face.

"Those poor gulls," Phoebe sobbed.

On stage, those poor gulls were attacking the other teenagers mercilessly: Jessica was trying to protect herself with her arms, but she had already been hit at least twenty times; Connor was running around, waving his arms and screaming; Aaron was trying to get a gull out of his pants while Chelsea laughed at him; and Kat and Dominic were on the floor, covering their heads.

"Isn't it amusing how she's worried about the birds instead of the humans?" Mo commented, pointing at Phobe with his thumb.

"Why? I'm not worried about them either," Brian said. He raised an eyebrow and looked at Mo significatively. "They're our _enemies_, remember?"

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Yeah, right**_

**Mo:** Isn't Brian taking this competition thing a little too far? Although I gotta admit, watching Aaron with that bird in his pants was hilarious. I only wish he had been hit on the face too... Not that I have anything against him. He's just on the other team. Yup, that's it. Nothing else to it.

* * *

"Everyone, get down!" Dominic shouted.

"That's the last thing I wanna do, buddy!" Aaron replied, dancing on his toes while shaking his pants.

The others did as they were told, though, and soon enough Chef ran out of gulls to throw. That signaled the end of the challenge, and the end of Aaron's struggle with the bird when it flew off.

"Well, that was also so bad it was good," Chris said. "Now let's check the score."

"You mean the invisible one?" Chelsea asked with a smirk.

"I could take a point away for that," Chris warned her. "Now, you started on bad feet due to Connor and Kat's horrible performances, and got back on track when Jessica pinned Chelsea to the ground. But, you lost those points thanks to Jessica herself."

The Sharks looked down on their feet, while the Bees started cheering.

"Hey, I haven't finished yet," Chris said. "Despite all the crappy acting, you guys stuck to the script for the most part, and Kelly's performance was... Well, we all know how that was. So I award you three starts out of five!

Which means the Deadly Sharks are the winners!"

The Sharks began cheering and embracing each other. Aaron hugged both Kat and Chelsea, who surprisingly didn't resist. Jessica and Kelly high-fived, as did Connor and Dominic.

The Bees were too busy protesting to Chris to notice all this, but their complaints were met with deaf ears.

"Are you kidding? They had way more advantages than we did!" Brian shouted. Mo and River had to restrain him.

"Sorry, I'm the host, I call the shots," Chris said. By his voice, it was clear he enjoyed holding his power over the campers' heads. "I'll see you by the bonfire tonight!"

"Wait!" Jessica called him. "Where are we going to sleep?"

Chris blinked. "Oh, that. Yeah, um... Good luck with that. Bye!"

And he ran off, leaving both teams dumbfounded.

"You can sleep in our cabin," Laura offered.

"Oh, yes! We can make a slumber party!" Phoebe squealed. "It's gonna be so fun!"

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Great Minds Think Alike?**_

**Aaron:** You have _no_ idea the amount of dirty images that went through my mind when I heard all the girls would be *he giggles* _sleeping together_.

**Chelsea:** Oh, I know just what was going through Aaron's thick head when he heard that. *blushes* Thing is, some of those images crossed my mind too. But it's different! Totally different!

* * *

Neither Maylene nor Olivia looked excited at the idea of sharing their cabin, but they had the grace to keep their mouths shut.

While the rest of the girls went to arrange things with the Shark girls, Olivia remained behind.

"Feel like a fish in the water, Drama Queen?" Brian asked her mockingly when he passed her by with Mo.

"Go rot, Baldie," she shot back at him, careful to avoid Mo's eyes. "Shouldn't you be taking your meds or sharpening your knife or something?"

Brian sniffed. "Whatever, Queenie. Suit yourself."

She didn't respond and looked away, pretending to be looking for someone. When she heard Mo and Brian walk off, she headed to a tree from which a black head could be seen.

"You should be going to the infirmary, not slacking off here with that thing," she sighed, sitting next to him.

"Why the sudden interest on my health?" River asked without looking up from his DS' screen.

"We're in an alliance," she said automatically. "It's not in my best interests for you to get injured."

She stood up and offered him her hand.

"So I'm back to the role of your pokemon," River said resignedly, but he took it anyway. "Joy."

"Don't push it."

"Yes, master."

* * *

_**Confession Camera – The Bees are Stung**_

**Mo:** Well, Maylene and Olivia have kept things tense around here, but they've also done great in challenges. Brian and I talked it over, and he said he'd tell someone else, so I'm pretty sure who's leaving tonight.

**Laura**: I didn't anticipate that for every person willing to vote one of the three candidates I had in mind, there's a few who are not. *sighs* I'm really sorry about this, Pheebs.

**Phoebe:** I can't just vote someone off! We're like a family... a dysfunctional one, alright, but a family nonetheless. *bursts out crying*

* * *

**TEAM: THE STINGING BEES – FIRST ELIMINATION CEREMONY (FOR THEM. SECOND ELIMINATION FOR THE SHOW.)**

Chris stood in front of the Bees, holding a plate that contained only seven marshmallows.

The eight campers exchanged worried glances. Phoebe and Laura were holding hands, while Olivia, River, and Maylene looked nervous. Brian and Mo were the only ones who seemed confident. Evan was out of it, as always.

"There are eight of you here, but I only have seven marshmallows. When I call your name, it means you're safe. If I don't, grab the Boat of Losers and beware because you'll never come back! Ever!"

He held the first marshmallow and threw it to Laura. "Laura."

Phoebe squealed and hugged her friend, who looked guilty.

"Brian."

Brian grabbed his marshmallow in mid-air, and propped it into his mouth.

"Mozart."

Mo nodded and caught his marshmallow.

"River."

River looked surprised for a second, and then relieved when the marshmallow landed on his hand.

"Olivia."

Olivia hugged River so tightly he choked on his marshmallow.

"Maylene."

Maylene's marshmallow landed on her lap, as she was too busy worrying about River to notice. When River finally spat the marshmallow, they realized there were down to the last two: Evan and Phoebe.

Evan adjusted his glasses; and Phoebe sniffed, already on the verge of tears.

"And the final marshmallow goes to..."

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Phoebe."

"No!" Phoebe cried. Her marshmallow hit her in the head and fell to the ground, but she didn't care. "But Evan can't leave!"

Laura looked down, chewing her lip.

"Why are you upset?" Brian asked Phoebe. "You should be glad we aren't giving _you_ the boot."

"Yeah, Pheebs, shouldn't you be happy?" Olivia said, patting her friends' shoulder.

Phoebe only held her hands to her face and cried some more.

Mo was the only one who seemed to get what was going on: Laura's guilty expression, Phoebe's crying...

"You can still tell him how you feel right now, you know," he said quietly.

Everyone gasped, including Evan.

"Aww, come on!" Chris whined. "No sappy stuff!"

Maylene stood up and got in front of his face.

"You are going to let Phoebe say whatever the heck she feels like saying," she said threateningly. "It's the least you can do after all this injustice!"

Chris gulped, but Phoebe didn't wait for his reply to speak.

"I'm so sorry about this, Evan! I swear I didn't vote for you. I think you're the best guy here!"

For once, Evan seemed to be paying attention. His eyes were focused on Phoebe's flushed face, and he was flushing himself.

"Really?"

"Of course! You're the nicest, cutest boy ever! Even if you have the attention span of a fly–"

"Did you say something?"

The fellow Bees slapped their foreheads. Phoebe sighed, but it was a happy sigh.

"Yes. I like you... a lot."

Before Evan's attention wandered elsewhere again, she jumped into his arms and pulled him in for a passionate kiss... which was cut short by Chris.

"Okay, enough! Evan, to the Dock of Shame. The rest of you, to your cabin." He looked to the camera, flashing his usual grin. "And _you_ don't forget to tune in next time to see what naughty things the girls–"

Maylene cut him short by smacking him in the head, messing with his hairstyle.

"Pervert," she scoffed. Brian laughed, and even Olivia let out a giggle.

"Hey! Watch the hair!"

* * *

NEXT TIME: "GenderBlender" – How will the girls survive an entire night under the same roof? Also, a reward challenge! What will the reward be?

* * *

**Author's Note: Whoa, this was the longest chapter I've _ever_ written. At first I considered splitting it in two, but I felt it would be understood better if read in one sitting. I did cut off the scenes of the girls sleeping in the same cabin; because those are closely tied to the next chapter. Anyways, hopefully you didn't find it too long.**

**I proofread this after a night of getting no sleep, so I can't guarantee you it's 100% good. I just wanted it up before Saturday, because if I'm going to come down with something I'd rather get some stuff done before I don't have the energy. Hell, I can hardly type right now.**

**Oh, and we have even _more_ amazing art from NightxOwl! What do we give her now, guys? A monument sound good? Anyway, you can find it over at the wiki (link on my profile). Now let's work on that monument!**

**Regarding Evan's elimination: I didn't want to do it because he's so adorable and fun to write, but he would serve no purpose to the plot unless he left. But don't worry, he'll be back soon.**

**Love and marshmallows,**

**Emmy.**


	7. Night 4

Disclaimer: I don't own TDI or its atrocious sequel. All OCs belong to their respective creators.

* * *

**Total Drama Again**

_**~by CamperThirteen**_

* * *

**Night 4**

"**Trick or Threat?"**

* * *

"I can't believe we're sharing cabins," Olivia scoffed, crossing her arms and lifting her chin. "They should put the guys together, they are the ones who're outnumbered."

She was sitting in her bunk in a very territorial manner, and Maylene, opposite her, was doing the same. The two girls were not happy with the idea of having the Sharks over, but seeing as they were currently in the same room with a pyro, they didn't dare voice them.

"Well, obviously they want to give the men priviledge over us girls," Maylene said. "Chris always seemed like a sexist to me."

"Or maybe he and the producers are just too stupid to come up with another solution," Jessica said, rolling her eyes. She was the only girl who had yet to change into her pajamas, even though she had finished setting her mattress first. "I think you two overestimate their intelligence."

Phoebe, who was still crying after Evan's departure, replied something unintelligible as she helped Kat set her mattress on the floor.

"Um, are you OK?" Kat asked uncertainly. Phoebe's tears were falling directly on her pillow, and she was afraid the snot would follow. "Is she OK?" She turned to Laura, who was helping Kelly set her mattress.

Laura looked guilty, but she averted her eyes before Kat could notice.

"We voted off her boyfriend," she explained quietly.

"I didn't even know you liked him," Maylene said. "If I had I wouldn't have voted for him–"

Olivia snorted. "Yeah, right."

Chelsea and Jessica looked up, both pleasantly surprised at Olivia. It was something _they_ would have said, rather than preppy Olivia.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Maylene asked, sending her a nasty look.

"Oh, please, don't play dumb just because we have guests. You know as well as I do that most of us agreed to vote Evan off–"

Phoebe suddenly stopped crying.

"What?" she asked, and then she turned to Laura, with hurt written plainly in her face. "Why would you guys do that?!"

"Because it was either him or you!" Laura answered. "I'm sorry, Pheebs. The guys wanted to vote you off, so I had to convince them to vote for somebody else instead, and the only person we could all agree on was Evan. I'm really sorry."

Phoebe let out another sob.

"And I thought _we_ had problems," Kat murmured.

"OK, guys, who wants to sing a song?" Kelly started, jumping to Olivia's bunk and putting an arm around her shoulders. "Come on! Whatcha wanna sing?"

"Shoot me," Chelsea growled, sitting on her unfinished bed.

"I don't know that one," Kelly admitted after a pause. "How about a nice song about friendship?"

"We don't know any songs like that, apparently," Maylene said coldly.

"I got one," Phoebe said suddenly. Her cracked voice silenced the room, and then she began to sing, "_Near, far... wherever you are; I believe that the heart does go on..._"

"Oh, dear," Olivia said.

Maylene rolled her eyes, while Jessica pretended to gag. Chelsea was just lying on her back, pressing her pillow against her face.

"_Love can touch us one time, and last for a lifetime..._"

"Oh, for Pete's sake!" Jessica snapped. "You knew him for what, four days?"

"The best four days of my life," Phoebe sobbed. "He understood me so much..."

"Honey, I doubt he was even aware he was at camp," Laura said kindly. "But you two had your kiss, and that's what's important, right?"

"Yeah, Pheebs, it was really romantic," Olivia said, staring dreamily off into space. "_So_ romantic..." she sighed. Kelly waved a hand in front of her face, but she didn't blink.

"Aww, you kissed?" Chelsea said in a false voice. "How cute! Now let's not talk about it anymore."

"It's _their_ cabin. They can talk about whatever they want," Jessica said sharply. "You should be grateful they're even letting you in here after what you did to our place."

"OK!" Kat said before Chelsea could reply. "How about we all go to sleep? I bet everyone's really tired after today."

"I agree," Laura said quickly. "But first I gotta go to the confessional. Liv, Jess, could you come with me?"

Jessica looked uncertainly at Olivia, who merely shrugged and climbed off her bunk. Once they left, Kelly started bouncing up and down Olivia's bed, much to Maylene's amusement.

* * *

"This camp is so creepy at night," Laura commented, mostly to break the awkward silence that had started ever since they had headed for the confessional together. Though she was the one holding the flashlight, she couldn't deny that the place sent shivers down her spine.

Her companions didn't seem to be of the same opinion. Jessica, in her usual brutally honest fashion, commented how she'd seen scarier low budget sets in B movies, while Olivia remained unusually quiet. Laura didn't know if this was a good sign or a bad sign, but awkward silences were always bad in her book. They prevented one from gossiping.

"So, you and Chelsea aren't getting along so well?" Laura asked Jessica, her tone sympathetic. "That must be awful, considering she has all the team wrapped in her little finger."

"Yeah, it gets... lonely at times," Jess admitted, kicking a pebble down the road with more force than necessary. "I wish I was on your team instead."

They had arrived at the confessional, and Laura said nothing as she entered, but Olivia chose that moment to speak up.

"To be with Mo?" she inquired quietly. When Jessica didn't reply, she said, "It's okay. He likes you, you like him. It's not rocket science, sheesh."

"I thought you liked him," Jessica said, then proceeded to kick herself mentally for her big mouth. "I mean..."

"The emphasis being in 'liked'," Olivia went on, as if there had been no interruption. "He's all yours. Musicians make for really clichéd love stories anyway."

"...Okay."

"You do realize this is the closest I'll ever get to apologizing to you for my past behaviour?" Olivia asked her half-haughtily, half-teasingly.

"Apology accepted then," Jessica replied.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Laura is Here**_

**Laura:** OK, so my plan isn't going as smoothly as I had hoped. Olivia and River are back to being... whatever it is they were; Phoebe is kinda mad at me right now, and Topher– *pauses, shocked*

I mean my boyfriend from back home, Topher – _not_ the Topher who was voted off – I miss him. *stares significatively at the camera, and in an almost threatening manner* A _lot_. *sighs and rubs her temples* Well, at least the girls still hate each other.

* * *

When Laura came out of the confessional, she found Olivia and Jessica chatting as amiably as the Gilmore Girls. The look on her face was one of sheer horror, but it quickly changed into one of surprise when the two girls saw her.

"Speak of the devil," Olivia said. "I was just telling Jessica what you told me about Kat the other day."

"Kat?" Laura repeated stupidly.

"About what she said to Kelly..."

"Oh, right," Laura said, though she had no idea what Olivia was talking about. "Fill her in."

She walked ahead of them, holding her flashlight tightly. This used to be so easy, back in school. But when you reduced the numbers of mouths and ears considerably, and threw in some cameras and competition, the game became nearly impossible for even a girl of Laura's level.

But as she listened to Olivia repeating the words Laura herself had whispered into her ear, she began to feel confident again.

"She told Kelly how she can't stand that she's always around her like some stalker. And she said she's always trying to touch her, too."

"Really? Then do you think she's a–?"

"It's hard to tell," Laura interrupted her, still not turning her back to them, "but what is easy to tell is that she's not right in the head. First she burns down Boney Island, and then your cabin? Plus she's been to juvie."

"Baldie's been to juvie, and he's perfectly harmless," Olivia said a little defensively. "Annoying, but harmless."

"But Brian is under medication," Laura pointed out. "Chelsea is not. And it shows."

"Can't argue with that," Jessica said.

"And that poor girl Kat," Laura went on, "she's so innocent... did you see how she froze on stage today? And how forceful Chelsea is on her?"

That was all she had to say. Now all that was left to do was wait.

"Now that I think about it," Jessica began to say, only to interrupt herself as realization hit her. "Remember how Kat stood up for Chelsea when I accused her of starting the fire? It was so unlike her... You don't think... Chelsea made her say that?"

"It would make sense," Olivia reasoned. "Kat is the voice of reason of your team, and Dominic is sort of the leader, and _he_ listens to _her_..."

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Laura somehow got in again?**_

**Laura:** Gossip makes the world go 'round.

* * *

"So in other words, by ruling Kat, she rules the team," Laura concluded.

They were about to reach the cabin, so she lowered her voice when she turned to them.

"We'll take care of this tomorrow, okay? Let's not rush into things. We have to think of a plan."

* * *

Back in the Sharks' lonely cabin, the remaining three boys were arranging things to go to sleep when Aaron ran to the window with rocket speed.

"I think I heard girls' voices!" he exclaimed, looking out the window.

Dominic rolled his eyes.

"You're just imagining things," he said. "Maybe you should ask Brian to give you some of his pills."

"I've read about these situations in extreme sports magazines," Connor said, taking the situation very seriously. "It's like when you're trapped in a desert with no water, and you imagine seeing an oasis."

"I can't take it anymore!" Aaron exclaimed, holding his head with his hands like a madman. "I have to... go see... girls... pajamas... slumber party..."

"He's drooling," Connor observed. "That's not good!"

Before Dominic could even blink, Aaron had opened the door and fled.

"_That_'s not good," Dominic said.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Seriously, are these people able to be in two places at once?**_

**Dominic:** I really am the only Sane Man on my team. Normally I'm not one to take the leadership role, but what could I do? If Kat realized I had let Aaron escape under my watch, she would never forgive me!

* * *

"Come on, Connor, we have a fugitive on the loose."

"Huh?"

"Let's go get Aaron!"

"Oh. OK! This is gonna be fun!"

Dominic sincerely doubted that. Especially if the girls found out.

* * *

The lights of the girls' side of the cabin were still on when Aaron arrived, but the curtains were closed. Still, they were so ragged he trusted he could get a good view if he tried. And for an instant, he did catch a glimpse of something that resembled skin–

Until someone grabbed him by the ear and pulled.

"What are you doing here, you pervert?!" Chelsea whispered into his face. "I can't believe you!"

Aarob looked around like a trapped animal, expecting to see the rest of the girls ready to hit him. But the cabin door was closed, and Chelsea was the only girl there. Although she looked angry, she wasn't even yelling at him.

"Wait, what are _you_ doing out here all by yourself?" he asked curiously. "Moreover, why aren't you shouting insults at me or threatening to burn me?"

Chelsea flushed and let go of his ear.

"Don't talk so loud, moron," she warned him. "And it's none of your business what I'm doing here. Now go before I change my mind."

She sat on the steps of the porch, her arms folded tightly across her chest. There was something in her expression that Aaron didn't like.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Honestly, how do they do it?**_

**Aaron:** I know a vulnerable girl when I see one – got years of training, you know – but somehow I didn't know what to do about Chelsea. And I wanted to make her feel better for some reason, but I had no idea how! She's really difficult to figure out.

* * *

Aaron struggled with himself for the space of a few seconds, but in the end he sat next to her, although not too close. He knew Chelsea well enough by now to know her limitations.

"I know you didn't start the fire," he said after a brief silence.

Chelsea looked at him in surprise, but quickly looked away. She opened her mouth to say something, but she closed it shut all of a sudden. Aaron followed her gaze to find Dominic and Connor running to them.

This only lasted for a second, as he was tackled by Connor in the blink of an eye. He struggled, but Connor had him pinned to the ground like some kind of delinquent.

"Ow, what the hell, man?!" he tried to say, but it was very hard considering his face was currently pressed against the floor. "Get off!"

"Sorry we let him escape, Chelsea," Dominic said. "And thanks for not burning him. He's really sorry, _isn't he_?"

Before Aaron had the chance to reply, Connor spoke.

"No he isn't." He sounded confused. "He was drooling."

Dominic slapped his face. "Connor, be quiet, please."

Once again, Aaron was cut off by someone else. Only this time, the voice was coming from inside the cabin.

"What's all that noise? Chelsea?"

Dominic's eyes widened in panic, before he turned to Chelsea with a pleading look. Connor released Aaron and they both jumped to their feet.

"Chelsea?" another voice asked from inside.

"Please," Dominic whispered. "They'll kill us."

Chelsea smirked. "Mmm. I wonder."

"Will you keep it down?" Brian's voice came from the other side of the cabin. "We have knives here, you know!"

"This should be fun," Chelsea said. "GUYS! THEY'RE OUT HERE! PERVERTS!"

She grabbed Dominic's arm with one hand and Connor's with the other, while she stretched her leg, causing Aaron to trip and fall again. Both doors of the cabin sprung open with a thud, and from each side emerged a bunch of angry-looking people dressed in their sleepwear.

"Hi everyone," Dominic said sheepishly.

"What are you doing here?" Maylene growled.

Brian rubbed his eyes drowsily. "Am I seeing stuff again?" he asked into the air.

Mo patted his back and said, before turning to the others, "No, you're not. Aaron, shouldn't you be in your cabin?"

* * *

_**Confession Camera – We give up**_

**Aaron:** Whoa, that was cold. What did I ever do to the dude, anyway?

* * *

"Yeah, he _should_," Chelsea agreed with a smirk.

"Which is why we're taking him back with us," Dominic said quickly. "Sorry about this."

"Oh, don't be. You just woke up for no good reason whatsoever. Nothing to apologize for," River said sarcastically.

"No good reason?" Olivia snapped. She raised her arms above her head while shooting daggers at River. "Hello, he could have snuck into our cabin! Do you not _see_ the problem here?"

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Wrong time**_

**River:** *rolls eyes* Olivia just likes to dramatize.

* * *

Aaron looked insulted.

"Hold your horses, I wasn't going to do anything to you!"

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Just plain Wrong**_

**Aaron:** Sheesh! All I wanted was a good peek, maybe steal a bra or two... Nothing perverted about that!

* * *

The girls only . Laura and Phoebe made their way back to the cabin, exchanging whispers that died out when they closed the door behind them.

"See? Nobody cares," Brian said dismissively, suppressing a yawn. "Now let's call it a night–"

"Oh no we won't!" Maylene screeched. "This is an outrage! How are we going to sleep now?!"

"The same way you've slept these past few nights?"

If looks could kill, Maylene would have killed River right then and there.

"I'll sleep with one eye open!" she warned the guys before opening the door of the cabin.

"I wonder how you'll do that," Kelly said, following her. "I tried it once, but it didn't work..."

As Kelly closed the door, Olivia glared to her male teammates.

"What kind of gentlemen are you, anyway? You're supposed to look out for us!" she scoffed. "Whatever happened to knights in shining armor rescuing damsels in distress?"

"Keep your voice down," Brian hushed her. "If Maylene hears that, she'll give you distress alright."

"ARGH! You're such a bunch of useless brats!" Olivia complained, rubbing her temples. "River, go get me a glass of water and an aspirine! You've given me a headache."

"Whipped!" Mo laughed when he saw River running to follow Olivia's command.

"Go to sleep already!" Jessica started.

Mo went inside the cabin so quickly Brian only saw a flash of black and red flying past him.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – The Girl Posse is here**_

**Olivia:** I swear, we have to do everything ourselves here.

**Laura:** I know! So much for chivalry!

**Phoebe:** This wouldn't have happened if Evan had been here.

**Laura:** Sure, sweetie.

**Olivia:** *whispering, to the side* I doubt he'd been aware of what was going on...

**Laura:** *whispering too* Yeah, but she doesn't need to know that.

* * *

Though it may be hard to believe, all this happened at the same time some of the Sharks were having a conveniently separated discussion amongst themselves.

"What's going on?" Kat asked Chelsea with big, puppy eyes.

Chelsea's smirk faltered a bit. She, Dominic, Aaron and even Connor looked down guiltily. This continued for a while, with the voices of the others as a background.

"It was Aaron's fault!" Connor exclaimed at last, pointing at the culprit.

"Is this true, Aaron?"

"Yes..." he admitted, still not looking up. "But I was being nice to Chelsea!"

Kat's gaze turned to her friend, who looked away.

"Chelsea?"

"He wasn't nice to me," Chelsea muttered.

"Yes I was!"

"No you weren't!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Make them stop, Kat!" Connor begged, grabbing onto her leg.

"Aaron!" Dominic said.

"She started it."

"I don't care who started it," Dominic said, exasperated. "Just apologize to Kat."

"Yes, Aaron, apologize," Chelsea said mockingly.

"You too, Chelsea."

"But I–!"

"No buts."

"He said butts," Connor laughed. Dominic smacked him. "Ow!"

"You apologize too," Dominic told him sternly.

"Sorry, Kat," the three echoed.

"OK, but I was expecting more out of you guys. I'm a little disappointed in you."

Chelsea, Aaron and Connor all turned to Dominic with pleading eyes, but he forced himself to keep his cool.

"Go to bed now," he said. Aaron and Connor went to their cabin with heavy steps, while Chelsea headed to her temporary room. "And Chelsea, you be nice to the other girls."

She snorted.

"Just don't burn anything," Dominic called after her.

"Only Jessica," she called back before closing the door.

It had grown very quiet in the porch all of a sudden. Jessica had gone to bed a few minutes ago, Mo had gone inside his cabin, and River had all but disappeared. Dominic and Kat found themselves staring at each other awkwardly, not being able to keep eye contact for too long.

"She won't cause any trouble, don't worry," Kat said quietly, just because she had to say something. She felt herself blushing and was glad it was too dark to tell. "I'll keep an eye on her. So, um... Good night."

"Oh, right. Good night then. And sorry about Aaron."

"Right."

"So..."

"Can you guys tell me if this pathetic excuse for a parody of a family was real?" a voice said, causing Kat and Dominic to jump in fear and surprise. They searched for the voice until their eyes met a shiny bald head.

"Brian," Dominic sighed in relief, "I thought you were in bed."

"So it was real? Man, that was cheesy," Brian said, his face still hidden in the dark. "I'm going to bed before my brain starts coming out of my ears or something."

Kat waited until Brian had closed the door to breathe again. She hadn't realized she had clung to Dominic's arm when she had heard Brian's voice, and it seemed he hadn't realized it either. While she debated on wether to pull away or not, the steps of the porch creaked.

Dominic and Kat gasped, and this time Kat clung to Dominic completely, while he hugged her back, shivering.

"Relax, this isn't Silent Hill," a familiar, monotone voice said. River only spared them an amused glanced as he stepped into the light, and then he knocked on the girls' door.

Olivia opened it immediately. She grabbed the glass of water River was handing her.

"Finally! I swear, this headache is killing me."

"Yeah, I can tell. You can hardly stand, you poor thing!"

"Shut it!" Once she had swallowed, she looked at Kat and Dominic, and her eyes widened. "Oh! Sorry, guys. River here didn't mean to interrupt you."

"What?" Dominic asked.

Only then did he realize he was holding Kat, and they both separated like the other had sent them a shockwave.

"'River here'?" River repeated.

"No, the one who's having tea with Chris and Chef at the other side of the island. Yes, you! Now go to bed, you're interrupting them!"

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Her own words**_

**Olivia:** Some people can be so oblivious to the fact that they like each other!

* * *

After Olivia and River had closed their respective doors, Kat and Dominic were left alone once more. They looked everywhere but at each other, until Kat couldn't take it anymore.

"Good night!" Kat squealed, hurrying into her cabin like a scared mouse.

She was greeted by the sight of seven girls sitting in a circle, talking and laughing.

"Finally!" Chelsea said when she caught sight of her. "What took you so long?"

"She was sketching the moonlight," Olivia said before Kat could even begin to blush. She glared at Chelsea. "Not that she owes you an explanation or anything."

"Olivia!" Maylene gasped.

"What are you guys talking about?" Kat asked, sitting down next to Chelsea to appease her.

"Revenge," Kelly said. "Mwahahaha!"

All the girls huddled closer, completely terrified.

"Kelly, don't do that anymore!" Chelsea scolded.

Kelly just waved her hand dismissively.

"You're such chickens. You are no fun."

"Wait, did you say revenge?" Kat asked.

The girls, Sharks and Bees alike, nodded evilly.

* * *

**Author's Notes: This was originally intended to be a small part of the next chapter, but the tale grew in the telling and before I knew it the thing was so long I decided to split it in two. This is what happens at the night before the following challenge, so this is basically another "in-between" chapter. Consider it my (late) Halloween present for ya!**

**I was kinda stuck with the chapter due to the challenge. I was trying to figure out how to do it in a way that was both funny and gave room for the characters to interact, which is why I was stuck and couldn't finish writing it sooner. But I know what I'm going to do now, so next chapter should come out soon. Now if I could only finish that chapter of _Ravishment and Exasperation_...**

**Enough of my whining. Let's take some time to cheer for NightxOwl, who gives us some more cool fanart! You know where to find it. And _I_ don't know what we should give her now. Candy? It's Halloween, after all.**

**Hope you've had a great Halloween (I went to the movies with my sister, lol)!**

**Emmy. 3**


	8. Day 5

Disclaimer: I don't own TDI or its atrocious sequel. All OCs belong to their respective creators.

----

**Total Drama Again**

_**~by CamperThirteen**_

**----**

**Day 5**

"**GenderBlender"**

----

Chris McLean was walking down the Dock of Shame, smiling for the camera as usual. His perfectly manicured hands were clutching a handful of colorful cards.

"Hello, faithful viewers! Last time, on Total Drama Again, the _Stinkin'_ Bees lost thanks to rival Kelly's superb acting skills." He drew out a card and held it to the screen, revealing a picture of Kelly during the performance, her arms up in the air.

"Hey, that wasn't the reason we lost!" someone cried.

Maylene walked up to Chris, followed by Phoebe, Laura, and Olivia. The female Bees were in their sleepwear, but they still managed to look menacing. No one looked as upset as Phoebe, though: she was breathing heavily, her cheeks flushed beneath her tan skin.

"Yes," she hissed. "It was because of your twisted, sick, f–"

"Where did you guys come from?!" Chris interrupted. "You got the wrong season here. No one interrupts my starting monologues this season. _Security_!"

As the security guards – who looked a lot like Topher and Evan in disguise – dragged the girls away, Chris turned to the camera and held out another card. This one had Laura's picture on it.

"Anyway, Laura had hoped her team would vote off either Bossy Maylene," he held a card showing Maylene's smiling face, "Evil Olivia," another card popped out next to Maylene's – this one showed Olivia looking out into space, "or Outcast River," River's picture popped up in the middle of Maylene's and Olivia's.

"But in the end, it was Clueless Evan who got kicked out, and as she revealed later, it was all thanks to Laura's intervention. But what are her motives? Why stab her best friend Phoebe, who liked – for reasons unknown – the poor guy? Why is Olivia friends with Jessica? (She must be planning something, I'm sure) Why do the girls think that Chelsea is out to get Kat?

"And, more importantly, what mean prank did the girls pull on the totally innocent guys last night? Find out right now on Total – Drama – _Again_!"

* * *

Now let us move on to that morning, just to give you some unnecessary suspense. The campers were all sleeping peacefully in their respective bunks or mattresses, birds were chirping, the sun was shining, and this awful paragraph was about to end when Chris's voice was heard through the loudspeakers:

"Wakey wakey, campers! Your day off has been called, well, off!" His evil cackle echoed all over camp. "You're to meet me in the campsite immediately. Don't be late!"

The campers hastened to get dressed, groaning and cursing the show in general and its host in particular. Some were still putting their shoes on when they met Chris at the designated spot.

Jessica nudged Laura when the boys arrived; Chelsea and Kelly exchanged amused glances. Kat, on the other hand, seemed to shrink. Chris looked puzzled for a second, and then he began to laugh.

Mo covered his ears with his hands. "Shut up, man!" he groaned. "It's too early for your crazy laughter!"

The girls joined Chris, except for Kat, who continued to look guilty. Maylene tried to be mature and resist the urge to giggle, but in the end she gave in as well.

"That – is – _awesome_!" Chris declared. "You guys look perfect for today's challenge!"

The boys started to look at one another in confusion, and immediately saw what was wrong on each other's faces. Literally.

It was a sight to behold.

Mo and Brian glanced at each other, and they both screamed. The former's dark eyes had been stroked with eyeliner into an Egyptian style, while his lips had been painted dark red; creating a style that went oddly with his hair, but made him look like a female version of his former self. Brian was even worse: his snake tattoo had a bright pink lace painted on it, as well as eyelashes on its now not so menacing eyes. But it didn't stop there. His bald head was covered in drawings of flowers, rainbows, and butterflies.

At the same time, River looked at his reflection on the screen of his DS, and almost dropped it in horror. Someone had decided to bring out his eyes by applying electric blue eyeshadow and some glittery stuff on his eyelids, and dark mascara on his lashes.

Connor and Dominic had suffered a similar fate. They had green eyeshadow on, along with fake eyelashes, some hideous bright red blush, and lipgloss.

"You guys look– It's beyond words!" Aaron laughed. He didn't realize he too had make-up on, as well as several pink ribbons on his hair.

Without a word, Laura handed him a small mirror. Aaron took it, still laughing, but his face fell when he stared at his reflection.

"AHH!" he screamed, horrified. "I make a horrible chick!"

Dominic stared at him.

"_That_'s what you're upset about?"

Connor wondered, "But who would do this to us?"

"It's a mystery," River said, glaring at the girls.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – The Interns Love It**_

**Topher:** (laughing) Now I'm kinda glad I was voted off. Right, Evan?

**Evan:** (sketching furiously, not paying any attention)

**Topher:** Right. I do wonder if I'm turning into Chris, enjoying other people's pain... Nah!

* * *

As the laughter died, Maylene approached Chris with a sudden feeling of dread.

"What do you mean, 'they look perfect for today's challenge'?" she demanded of him.

"Oooh, is it a clown challenge?" Kelly clapped her hands. "Can I be a clown too?"

"I guess you could say you'll all be clowns today," Chris said, grinning wickedly. "Because for today's challenge, you'll be playing... 'GenderBlender'!"

Crickets chirped as the campers gave Chris a blank look. Finally, Mo raised his hand.

"Are we supposed to know what that is?" he asked.

"No, I just came up with the name. Today you'll be switching places with the opposite gender. This includes changing your clothes, your attitude, and your manners!"

"What a _convenient_ time to have this challenge," River said, glaring at Chris.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – It's Not A Coincidence**_

**Chris:** Actually, today was supposed to be the talent contest challenge, but after we saw last night's footage, we just couldn't resist to throw this in. Besides, this gives us more time to find out who started that fire. Our unpaid interns are working on that right now.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Seconds after Chris left it**_

**Topher:** Yes, we're working on it... not! (cackles)

* * *

"I'll judge everyone individually and give you a score of one to three points based on your performance. By the end of the day, the team with the highest score gets a reward!"

"No eliminations then?" Laura grinned. "That's so great!"

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Laura uses it a lot**_

**Laura:** (with a scowl) That sucks! All these gossiping for nothing!

* * *

"I hope the reward is a dream date with Evan," Phoebe sighed.

"Nope," Chris said, not losing his smile. "But it comes close. It's an all expense paid trip to the mall!"

Several of the girls gasped, while Jessica rolled her eyes.

"We have to win this," Chelsea said. "We need to buy new clothes."

Brian looked at her blankly. "We don't care."

Maylene sent him a look and opened her mouth, but she was cut off by Connor,

"Wait, that means we can buy _decent_ food?"

"That's right, buddy!"

At this, everyone's eyes widened. After all, they _were_ starving. Even McDonald's was starting to seem like a five-star restaurant compared to Chef's creative meals.

Brian smirked when he noticed Maylene closing her mouth with a determined expression. He asked her, "Does this mean your competitive side won your inner moral battle?"

"Oh yes. It is _so_ on."

Suddenly, the camera focused on a couple of pirate chests that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. One of them was bright pink, while the other was electric blue.

"In these chests you'll find everything you need to become a successful GenderBlender," Chris informed the campers. "Now go get dressed. Meet me back here in ten! And remember, you have to look _and_ act the part."

"Sadistic bastard," Chelsea muttered, as she and Maylene took the chest to the girls' place.

The girls emerged from their cabin exactly ten minutes later, wearing baggy pants and gigantic t-shirts and Nike sneakers, with their hair hidden underneath baseball caps. They had no make-up or jewelry on, except for a few bling-bling chains and belts.

"I feel so..." Phoebe began to say, her voice miserable.

"Manly?" Kelly suggested happily.

"At least it's better than Olivia's tinsy tiny shorts," Chelsea sighed.

Olivia turned red.

"That is _it_," she whispered to Jessica. "She is going down."

Chris checked his watch. "Where are the guys?"

The door of the Sharks' – where the guys had all gotten dressed – sprung open with a loud thud, and slowly but surely, they began to come out.

They were all wearing tight, short dresses that revealed their hairy legs and that hung loose in the chest area. As if that wasn't enough, they were wearing wigs.

Chris burst out laughing.

"This is either the most disturbing thing I've ever seen, or the funniest," he declared.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Disturbing or Funny?**_

**Topher:** (laughs for a good thirty seconds before finally calming down) Oh, man! That's...! (suddenly he looks horrified) I really _am_ turning into Chris!

* * *

Once everyone had stopped laughing at each other – especially the guys – the true contest began. Chris had several brightly colored cards on his hands, and he pulled an orange one out.

"This card contains the first challenge for you... girl-guys and guy-girls," he said in a very serious tone. "Beware, because what you are asked to do here may damage your future careers, lives, and relationships. Everyone take a minute to think how what you do on this show will chase you for the rest of your lives, something I'm sure none of you even considered when you signed the contract." He chuckled.

Everyone gulped. Olivia turned so pale, her white headband looked tan by comparison. Phoebe burst out crying, as a shocked Laura comforted her. Maylene bit her fingernails. River dropped his DS. Brian's left eye twitched. Mo and Jessica exchanged looks of panic. Kat clung to an open-mouthed Dominic, who was so aghast he failed to notice the contact. Chelsea started flickering with her lighter anxiously. Aaron and Kelly hugged each other and cried out. Connor scratched his head.

Chris continued to grin.

"Now that everyone's realized it's too late to back out even if you wanted to, I'll go on and tell you what these cards here are for. For this challenge, both teams will be playing a different scenario. The cards contain the scenarios, and I'll choose the campers who will play them out for their team. Each team gets sixty seconds to play out their scenario. After the two teams have finished with their performances, I'll pick one of them as the winner of the round. Finally, the team that wins the most rounds wins. However, if one of your teammates refuses to do one of the rounds, the team cannot go on to the next round. And that's it!"

Everyone rolled their eyes; the moment of shock had passed.

"Didn't we do kind of the same thing yesterday?" Jessica asked.

"No, you did a performance challenge," Chris corrected her, "and it was _last week_. Remember?"

"I'm pretty sure it was yesterday," Connor said, scratching his head again.

"For the viewers, it was a long time ago, okay?" Chris told him, annoyed. "So they don't remember what you did, nor do they care. Now, for the Sharks, I'll pick..."

Chris raised a finger in the air, while a melodramatic, nail-biting-inducing music played in the background. The camera showed a quick glimpse of Chef with the same radio he had used to play Boney Island's creepy theme song in a couple of episodes.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Give Chef his paycheck already!**_

**Chef:** Where's my paycheck at?! Only thing I do is push the damn play button on the radio!

* * *

As Chris closed his eyes, he let his finger fall at chest-height, and trace an invisible line across the air.

The suspense of the moment was ruined by the fact that he was facing the wrong way.

"Brian and Maylene!"

When he finally opened his eyes, he was pointing directly at a camera. The music stopped, and Chef's laughter joined the others' as the camera zoomed in on Chris's angry face.

"Hey! Why didn't anyone tell me? You better edit that out, unpaid interns!"

* * *

_**Confession Camera – The Interns come here to laugh at you**_

(Evan and Topher are seen laughing hysterically)

**Topher:** Yeah, right, Chris! You got it!

**Evan:** Got what?

**Topher:** ...Never mind.

* * *

Chris, looking extremely angry, scowled even more when he realized the contestants were laughing at him.

"What's so funny? You guys are crossdressers!" he said accusingly, pointing at them while a smirk played on his lips.

* * *

_**Off-camera**_

Chris, holding a paper in his hands, proceeded to read it aloud very unenthusiastically, "The producers and network would like to point out that they have no intention of harming the LGTB community or its members. We..." he squinted his eyes, and uttered the following word as if it was very hard for him to pronounce, "_apologize_ if we have offended you, as it was not our intention." He shoved the paper into Evan's hands, and asked angrily, "OK, is that over now?"

Evan shrugged.

* * *

"And for the Bees," Chris continued, considerably less excited this time. "Kelly and Aaron."

The four selected campers approached Chris as slowly as possible.

"I hope this isn't as embarrassing as wearing these clothes," Aaron whispered to Kelly.

"Why?" she asked, tapping her cap. "I like it!"

"You're not the one showing off your hairy legs to the world."

"Oh, you're right. That was Heather."

"Are you done chatting? Good. Now maybe I can tell you your scenario. And don't forget, you have to play it out exactly like a person of the gender you're dressed as would!"

"This challenge must have been invented to annoy me," Maylene commented.

"Then I like it," Olivia decided.

Maylene glared at her, and River stepped in.

"Don't listen to her," he said with a careless shrug. "She's just mad at Chelsea."

Maylene's glare turned into a bright grin that she flashed at River. The boy blushed and looked away as Olivia and Brian glared at him, albeit for completely different reasons.

Meanwhile, Chris had held out an orange card and was reading from it.

"Your scenario is: The Break-Up Scenario! The dude playing the dudette has to break up with the dudette who's played by the dude, and vice-versa for the other team."

His explanation was met with blank stares.

"That means that Maylene has to break up with Brian, and that Aaron has to break up with Kelly."

"I can do that," Maylene smiled. Brian was about to smile back at her when she added, "All I have to do is repeat every lame break-up line I know – all of which where invented by men. What a coincidence." She rolled her eyes smartly.

"I guess that's the closest you'll ever come to having a sense of humor," Brian said with a slight smile. "But you're getting there."

Maylene frowned at him. "Shouldn't you be mad? I've just insulted your gender!"

"So?"

Maylene opened her mouth, but for once, she was at a loss of words. Before Brian had time to point this out and make fun of her, Chris cleared his throat.

"Can we get on with this challenge already?" he asked, annoyed at the interruption. He wanted ratings, sure, but a discussion about gender differences and sexism was not going to get him any. As if anyone cared about that!

"Brian and Maylene, you're up first. You have sixty seconds, starting... now!"

Maylene turned to face Brian immediately.

"It's not you, it's me," she began to say, in what was, at best, a rather femenine male's voice. "You see, I'm just a brainless jerk who likes girls for their looks instead of their personalities. I can't hold an intelligent conversation to save my life, so I'm sorry, but I have to break up with you."

Brian's eyes narrowed into black slits, and then he smirked. In a second, he was on his knees, holding onto Maylene's legs. When he looked into her eyes, he did so pitifully and dramatically, making sure to bat his eyelashes as much as possible.

"You can't do this to me!" he whined in the high-pitched falsetto voice of a particularly bad transvestite. "Even if all I ever want to do is talk about my feelings and make you listen to my boring problems that are not even problems! Please, don't leave me!"

Maylene clenched her fists. Now it was personal.

"Oh, I'm leaving you. Not only because I'm a stupid guy, but because you clearly are a girl who has no self-respect whatsoever."

"Boring!" Chris yawned. He checked his watch and grinned. "Let's see how Girl!Aaron breaks up with Boy!Kelly now, shall we?"

He approached said campers and left the Bees behind. The Sharks were hardly ready – Kat, Chelsea, and Jessica were still sending Dominic, Connor and Aaron some amused glances; though Kat looked a little guilty about it.

Completely oblivious to this, Girl!Aaron was fumbling with his fingers, while Boy!Kelly stood with her arms crossed and her lips set in an uncharacteristically hard line.

"And your challenge starts... now!" Chris announced, before blowing a whistle that hadn't been there before. The Sharks jumped in surprise, and Aaron looked panicked.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Aaron's concerns**_

**Aaron:** She's a hot chick! Come on! How am I supposed to break up with her? It's hard, even if she is dressed like a dude. Wait, that sounded wrong. Can you edit that out?

* * *

"So, Kelly," Aaron began in the girliest voice he could muster. It was worse than Brian's.

"Kellinator," Kelly corrected him cooly, in a deep voice that was almost as scary as her evil laughter. "Don't you even know my name, you stupid girl?"

"Of course I do!" Aaron protested. "After all the precious moments we've had together, do you think I could ever forget your name? But the truth is, I need some time to be by myself and think about my life. I hope we can still be friends."

"Sounds like he's heard that speech a lot of times before," Chelsea commented. Aaron glared at her.

"You're sixteen," Kelly stated flatly. "What do you need to think about? What color you're going to paint your nails tomorrow?"

Aaron's hand flew to his chest, as if he'd been stabbed in the heart. "You insensitive jerk!" he cried. "That's the reason I want to break up with you!"

"I thought you wanted to break up with me because you have to, and I quote, 'be by yourself and think about your life'," Kelly said coolly.

Aaron blinked. Clearly, this was too much for him. "I..."

"Win!" Chris declared. "You two gave the best performance! Kelly, your impersonation of the male as a reasonable guy was spot on–"

"That wasn't what I was going for–"

"And Aaron, you interpreted the female perfectly! The Sharks win this round!"

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Why they let him get away**_

**Phoebe:** So, Laura convinced me to keep my cool around Chris, but... (starts cursing and is censored)

**Maylene: **When I heard what Chris said, I died a little inside. I was going to yell at him, but Brian stopped me! Can you believe it? It was nice of him, considering what could've happened, though.

**Jess:** Oh, I can tolerate those sorts of comments from Chris. They give me the perfect excuse to put something _unpleasant_ in his food, or fill his hair gel bottle with glue. Not that I've done that. Yet.

* * *

"Now onto the second scenario!" Chris drew out a hot pink card and read it to himself. His eyes gleamed with malice. "Ohh, this is a good one: the confession scene!"

River snorted. "That's so japanese."

"And since River knows so much on the subject, he'll be confessing to... Phoebe! As for the Sharks, Kat will be doing the confessing, to... Dominic!"

Dominic's cheeks turned so red they could be mistaken for his shirt. Kat, on the other hand, seemed about to faint. Chelsea put a hand on her shoulder to steady her, but the gesture was met with uneasy looks from Jessica and Olivia.

"To save the best for last, let's have River and Phoebe go first for the Bees... again."

Maylene hurried to give a few instructions, "River, just think you're confessing to the girl you like. Pretend she's Phoebe."

"She's dressed like a dude. How am I supposed to–? Argh, I can't even think about it, it hurts."

"Just close your eyes and picture the face of your beloved," Phoebe advised him. "I'll think of Evan."

While this hurried whispering was going on, the Sharks were so silent they could hear each other breathing.

"Um, so... good luck, dude," Aaron said, patting Dominic on the shoulder. "I mean dudette."

"Aaron, the last person in the world who I'd want to think of me as a girl is you. Don't call me dudette."

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Dude or Dudette?**_

**Aaron:** What? Chris _did_ say we had to pretend!

* * *

"Alright, so, Phoebe, I..." River began, looking at Phoebe, who looked like a boy. He stared at his feet, trying to imagine someone more femenine was standing in front of him.

"Come on, River, it's not even a _real_ confession!" Olivia snapped.

"Leave him alone! He's trying!" Maylene argued.

"Sheesh, women, stop your bickering!"

"Shut it, Baldy!"

"Are you using 'women' as a derogatory term?!"

"Everyone, this isn't going to help us win, you know..."

"John Lennon's 'Imagine' had never looked so implausible to me."

River took a deep breath. He tried to repeat one of the many things he used to tell himself to shut himself out of his surroundings, but found it didn't work. He didn't mind their interruptions for some reason. He tried to think why this was, but instead of coming up with a rational answer, his brain answered him in images and flashbacks, the way movies and TV shows and crappy fanfics do: Olivia worrying about him, Mo giving him a friendly punch on the shoulder, Maylene standing up for him, Brian telling him it was okay to go outside with the rest of them...

"I like you," he said in his own voice. He liked them all, he realized. They were scary sometimes, and annoying, and together they formed the most unlikely group he had ever seen. Even for videogame standards, they were a weird lot. The thought made him smile.

"Is he... smiling?" Laura asked, pressing one hand to her heart.

"And talking like a dude," Mo noted, alarmed. "River, you're a girl, _remember_?"

River shook his head before nodding to the team. Then he turned to Phoebe, who was giving him a smile of her own.

"I like you too, River," she said, her voice breaking in a very un-manly fashion. "You're a good person."

"So are you," River said in his best female voice. It wasn't very good. "But that's not the only reason I like you. I like you because you're weird in your own way, even if it's different to _my_ weird... And you make me want to get to know other people, and see how weird they are, too."

"Aww, that's so sweet!" Phoebe sobbed. She ran to River and hugged him.

River looked startled for a second, but he managed to pat Phoebe's back.

"Hey, what's with that? That wasn't a confession! And _men_ don't cry. That's for little girls! And they certainly don't run to hug girls like that," Chris said disapprovingly.

"We'll see if men don't cry," Maylene glowered. She had to be restrained by Laura and Brian.

"And now let's hope the Sharks do better than that. Heck, anyone could do better than that, it was so bad–"

A pebble hit him in the head. Brian winked at the camera.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – May and Phoebe have a lot to say today, apparently**_

**Maylene: **Normally I disapprove of violence... But I almost squealed when Brian hit Chris with that pebble. Serves the sexist pig right.

**Phoebe:** After River finally admitted that he would like to connect with another human being, I realized it's time I do the same thing! I can't be crying over Evan, nor swearing to avenge him. I have to help my team first! Aren't I supposed to be a matchmaker? I should be making others happy!

* * *

"Hitting the host – not cool!"

"Slipped," Brian said innocently. He winked at Maylene, who smiled before slapping herself and looking away, her cheeks red. It happened so fast, she was sure no one had seen it.

"So, Dominic and Kat," Chris said, turning to the other team abruptly. "Sixty seconds. Now."

Dominic and Kat faced each other at a prudent distance, careful to avoid eye contact. Slowly, almost as if they had rehearsed it, they began to lift their heads at the same time. When their eyes met, they both blushed furiously and looked down again.

The two teams held their breath.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – Difference of opinions**_

**Phoebe:** (clasping her hands together, dreamy-eyed) That was the most romantic, cute, swoon-worthy moment I've seen in my life! (swoons, then pauses and looks shocked) We're so doomed.

**Jessica:** That was crap! We're _so_ doomed.

* * *

"Thirty seconds and counting, guys," Chris reminded the duo.

Kat gulped. It was now or never.

"I..."

"You don't have to tell me something you don't mean," Dominic interrupted her softly. "Actually... If you don't mean it, I'd rather you didn't say it."

There was a collective gasp from everyone but Kat. She just looked confused.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, _I_ like you, and it would hurt me if you said you do too when you don't. Even if it's for a challenge."

His words were met with a stunned silence. Over at the Sharks' side, Aaron frowned, and he spied Chelsea out of the corner of his eye. He expected to find her flicking her lighter on, upset, maybe getting ready to start threatening Dominic. Instead, she was smiling slightly.

"Shouldn't you be mad?" he asked her.

She shrugged and said, "I'm happy for Kitty. He's the one she likes, so you and I will have to settle for that." Her voice softened, and suddenly Aaron wasn't sure she was talking to him anymore. "I was thinking about it last night."

Normally he would have made a joke about that, but he found he wasn't in the mood for jesting. He wanted to hear what she had to say.

"When you came and I was sitting at the porch," she continued.

"What the hell is he saying?" Jessica whispered.

"I'm confused," Connor confessed to Kelly. "What's going on?"

"I have no idea."

Kat, meanwhile, was having the battle of her life. She did not know what she feared the most: big audiences, or confessing her true feelings in front of them. She closed her eyes so that she'd only have to focus on one of her fears.

"B-But I... I _do_ like you."

"Aww," Olivia and Phoebe said in unison.

River raised an eyebrow at the two. "Shouldn't you be sad that we're losing?"

"But it's so romantic!" Phoebe sighed.

"It's pure fanservice," he argued.

Olivia pouted. "Aww, come on!" When River rolled his eyes, she pinched his cheek and whined, "But it's cuuuute!"

"Stop that. I mean it."

Olivia stuck her tongue at him, but surprisingly, she did as she was told.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – We can't believe it either**_

**River: **(schocked) Did Olivia just _obey_ me?

* * *

"And... time's up!" Chris announced. "Now for our third and final scenario..." he drew out another card. This time it was neon blue in color. When he read it, he cackled. "My personal favorite! The I'm-in-love-with-my-best-friend scenario! One of you will be the jealous boyfriend, the other will be the love interest, and finally we'll have the love interest's true love."

Maylene's hand was up in the air so quickly that nobody had even seen her raising her arm.

"Excuse me, Chris, but why are all these challenges about men and women interacting with each other romantically?" she asked. "It's completely clichéd and stereotypical and it doesn't contribute to help either genders' preconceptions about the other at all. It encourages sexism!"

"Yeah, I didn't understand a word of what you just said," Chris stated flatly. "But the reason is simple–"

They could all guess what he was getting at.

"Ratings?" they said in unison.

"Don't interrupt me! Like I was saying, this is all for the ratings." Everyone rolled their eyes. "The audience likes to see drama and romance and tension between the cast. They like to see other things too, but we aren't allowed to show those on TV because you're minors," he added, apparently mad at whomever had invented that stupid rule in particular. "Anyway, our trios will be Laura, Mozart, and Olivia for the Bees. Laura will be the best friend and Olivia will be the evil girlfriend." He smirked. "Naturally."

"And for the Sharks we'll have Jessica, Connor, and Chelsea. Jessica will be the best friend, and Chelsea will be the jealous girlfriend."

"I have to pretend to be jealous... over _him_?" Chelsea pointed at Connor, who was currently standing on his head. Jessica slapped her own forehead.

"They're going down," Brian said to Mo, who looked uncertainly at Jessica.

* * *

_**Confession Camera – On being obvious**_

**Mo:** Yeah, sure, I want my team to win, I guess... (rubs the back of his neck) But let's face it, those guys are going to vote Jess off! Chelsea has that team wrapped around her little finger, and we all know how she and Jessica get along. It's just not fair, man. She hasn't hurt anyone, but because of Chelsea, she's the first one they'll think of when the elimination comes.

* * *

Chris smirked at Olivia, who was biting her lip.

"What are you guys waiting for? We don't have all day, you know," he said. "Actually, we do, but filming's expensive and I have a date with my spa in about half an hour."

* * *

_**Confession Camera – On irony, and how Olivia doesn't get it**_

**Olivia:** (chewing on her fingernails) It's like Chris deliberately chose Mo because he knew it'd be uncomfortable for me! (pauses, looks shocked for a second) ARGH! I've got to try harder! Obviously I've been too open about my feelings. But not again. Nope, you'll never get another hint out of _this_ gal. (crosses her arms impatiently) Now where is River? He'd better not be with Maylene!

* * *

Phoebe and Laura, who had noticed both Mo's and Olivia's reactions, exchanged a look. Laura made sure her shock didn't show.

"Hey, is everything okay?" Phoebe whispered to Olivia.

"I can't do this."

Phoebe raised her eyebrows. "But you can't quit."

"No, I can, actually." Olivia turned to Chris, who by now was tapping his foot impatiently. Everyone else was staring at her, but she took courage from Jessica's friendly smile. When she spoke, her voice was confident and steady. "Chris, I forfeit."

Maylene let out a gasp. Was her hearing deceiving her? Was Olivia, who was almost as competitive as she was – and who on top of that was nearly Mo's stalker – refusing a chance to win a challenge that involved being Mo's love interest? This couldn't be right! The world had to be coming to an end. The only possible explanation was that, being the occasional clueless ditz Olivia was, she had forgotten the consequences. Maylene would remind her.

"You can't _quit_! We'll lose!"

To her surprise, it was Mo who defended Olivia. He turned to Maylene and pointed out, "It's not an elimination challenge."

Laura and Phoebe nodded in approval.

"They need it more than we do, after that mysterious fire," Laura said.

Phoebe added, "The poor dears have lost all of their things."

"But they're our competition!" Maylene turned from one blank face to another, looking for support. "It's not right!"

* * *

_**Confession Camera – WHUT?!**_

**Maylene:** I didn't understand what was going on. It was like suddenly Olivia had turned into a saint and I was the mean girl who spoiled the party. But I was only trying to do the right thing! I swear!

* * *

Chris was just as puzzled as Maylene, but he wasn't nearly as upset. He couldn't care less who won the challenge, and besides, this would probably give the ratings a boost.

"So you all decide to quit the challenge and give the prize to the Sharks?"

The Bees looked at Maylene. Outnumbered, and feeling betrayed somehow, she gave a weak nod.

"We do," Olivia said firmly.

"Despite the fact that doing so will render this entire challenge useless?"

"We don't mind," Laura chirped.

* * *

_**Confession Camera**_

**Laura:** I just want them out of our cabin.

* * *

Later, as the Sharks began boarding the brand-new yacht that would take them to the mall, the Bees came to say goodbye. Most of the members of the two teams smiled at each other, all rivalry forgotten.

Kelly was the first to take her gratitude a little further. She caught both Phoebe and Laura in a tight embrace and exclaimed, "What you guys did was so nice. Thank you so much!"

"No problem!" Laura smiled.

Now everyone was following Kelly's example, and every Shark was thanking a Bee or two. Everyone except for Chelsea, who was talking to Kat in a low voice.

"Oh, they were _so_ selfless. It's not like this will benefit them at the merge _at all_..."

Kat sighed. "You're probably right. This does seem a bit weird, coming from them."

Jessica, who had overheard them, frowned. She'd have to think about this on the way to the mall...

"Jess," a voice said, causing her to jump. When she turned around, she found Mo smiling sheepishly at her. "I'm glad you won. Now you can get a new skateboard."

She nodded. "And some rope."

"What for?"

"Strangling Chris."

"Oh, right," Mo answered non-chalantly. "Well, so long as you buy something to hide the evidence, too."

"That's easy. I'll blame Chelsea."

"Now that's some good thinking–"

"Hey, Romeo, your Juliet's got a yacht to catch," Brian interrupted. He pointed towards the yacht, and sure enough, the only one missing there was Jessica.

The skater girl blushed and waved Mo goodbye before leaving. Mo watched her until the yacht disappeared in the horizon.

"You done now?" Brian asked him, so suddenly Mo jumped as Jess had earlier. He had been there a long time, and he'd thought he was alone.

"I was just looking at the yacht, man."

Brian's eyes narrowed.

"Sure you were. I'll see you at dinner."

* * *

_**Confession Camera**_

**Mo:** I think I'm beginning to understand why Brian's been to both juvie and a mental institution... (shudders)

* * *

A few minutes after Mo had left the confession booth, Laura hid in the bushes nearby. She hoped she wouldn't have to wait for too long. She'd told the girls she was going for a stroll, but it would look suspicious if she was gone for longer than a half hour.

It was getting cold by the time she finally heard him whistle. When she came out, he was so surprised he nearly fell on top of her.

"Topher, you idiot!" she snapped. She regretted it immediately; what'd happened today at the challenge wasn't his fault. "You're going to get seriously hurt one of these days."

He shrugged. "So, what happened?"

"Olivia and Mo refused to do one of the challenges, and so our prize went to the Sharks."

Topher's mouth formed a small and perfectly round "o". Laura gave him time to let that sink in.

"Olivia and Mo did?" he asked at last. "But they're..."

She nodded and started pacing around, thinking out loud.

"Well, Mo obviously wanted Jessica's team to win so that they wouldn't blame her if they lost. Chelsea hates her, and it's obvious they're going to vote her off soon. But I guess he thought he might save her this way? I don't know.

And Olivia doesn't like Mo anymore, so my guess is, she wanted to have nothing to do with the challenge. Plus she's friends with Jessica now..."

"So you think they both did it for Jessica?"

Laura stopped her pacing to face him. He was frowning.

"Don't you?"

"I think that's what she wants everybody else to think," Topher said slowly. "It's a win-win situation for her, isn't it? She hates Maylene, and she knows her well enough by now to guess she'd go crazy if they quit a challenge, right? Besides, you and Phoebe are friends of hers now, so you'd have her back. So would River, obviously."

"And that makes her look like a savior to the Sharks, and makes Maylene look really bad! Topher, you're brilliant!"

He blushed, but then he turned serious again, and his frown deepened.

"But I still don't know about Brian."

* * *

**Author's Note: Sorry for the long, long, LONG wait, guys. I'm terrible, I know. The details of it all are in my blog, which you'll find in my profile, but to sum things up: COLLEGE. ENTRANCE EXAMS. STUDYING. So yeah.  
**

NightxOwl** is amazing, though! She did a comic featuring Olivia and River, and it's hilarious. Refer to my profile to read it, and then proceed to give her hugs and rainbows and imaginary cookies. Mmm, cookies...**

**Also, the credit for the inspiration for the chapter's challenge goes to** The Black Cat of Arda**, who suggested it to me. Thanks :)**

**~Emmy.**


	9. Total Drama Again, A Brief Summary

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is not mine, and neither are its atrocious sequels.

**Total Drama Again: A Summary**

_By CamperThirteen_

TDA CAST: (is crazy and hates each other's guts)

TOPHER: (falls randomly)

OLIVIA: Hi MO you're a musician so naturally you must be sensitive so anyway I LOVE YOU.

MO: I love Jess and hate you for no reason whatsoever. Go away.

OLIVIA: River, I love Mo but I want you to form an alliance with me.

RIVER: Give me back my metaphorical DS you crazy bitch! (ok)

MAYLENE: My feminism is not like River's metaphorical DS at all.

BRIAN: Neither is my crazy. (ILU Maylene)

EVAN: (draws, is distracted like whoa)

PHOEBE: I love this place and all my friends! Everyone's so nice! :D

LAURA: Do you guys know what everyone's saying behind your backs? 'Cause I can tell you. (Might not be true though)

KAT: Is it just me or do we spend more time talking than doing challenges. Whut.

CHELSEA: ILU Kat. I8U Aaron.

AARON: ILU Kat. ILU Chelsea. ILU Dominic. WAIT WHAT.

DOMINIC: All of you, go to bed. They're out of control, Kat.

JESS: Shut up you're not our father. (I miss Mo...)

CONNOR: DAD WHY YOU SO MEAN, MOM DO SOMETHING!

KELLY: I'M GONNA HOLD MA BREATH NOW AND I'LL DIE!

CHRIS: Okay kiddies it's time for a life-threatening challenge!

TDA CAST: HOW ABOUT NO.

This is not a chapter, as you may have noticed, but it's a sort of cookie for you to chew on until the next chapter is finished. So far I've written more than half of it (around 3500 words, most chapters are 7000 words long), so I think it should be published around Christmas.

I'm very sorry for the delay, guys, there are more details in my profile page if you're interested.


	10. Day 6

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Total Drama-related except for some crappy fanfiction about it.

**Total Drama Again**

_**~by CamperThirteen**_

**Day 6**

"**Hide and Seek"**

Despite its many shortcomings, the mood at Camp Wawanakwa was usually considerably high. The weather was not too hot, the skies were clear, the view was so picturesque it could only have been made out of cardboard.

But although the campers had never been truly disheartened by the overall shabbiness of it all, today they found they couldn't ignore the fact that they were staying in a place that should have been closed down by health inspectors a long time ago.

And the Deadly Sharks had yet to return from their trip to the mall.

The Bees had spent the whole morning at the porch, having silently agreed that they'd stay there until the Sharks arrived. Presently, Maylene returned from the restroom and asked, a bit pointlessly, "No sight of them yet?"

The rest of the team paid her no mind. They simply continued looking miserable.

Finally, Phoebe replied, "Nope. That must've been a very long, long, _long_ trip..."

She trailed off, and everyone sighed in unison.

Brian raised an eyebrow at Maylene. "Why are you so worried anyway? I don't remember you caring yesterday at the challenge."

"Just because I didn't want to give them _our_ reward doesn't mean I'm some heartless monster." She took in her teammates' hunched shoulders and lowered heads. "And I bet most of you wish you had agreed with me now."

Apparently this was the reaction Brian had been hoping for: he smirked, evidently pleased. The others exchanged guilty looks.

Once again, it was Phoebe who broke the silence. Her voice was quiet and uncertain when she spoke. "But... they deserved it more..."

"Now that is just absurd. Have _they_ ever done anything for _us_?" No one answered, and Maylene pressed on, "This is a _competition_. And guess what you're not supposed to do in a competition? _Help the opposing team!_"

Everybody glanced at Olivia, fearing her response, but to their surprise, it was Mo who stood up suddenly and faced Maylene. Brian, who had been smirking up until this point, frowned.

"Who cares about teams? Some of us have friends there. Friends who, you know, lost all of their things in a fire?"

Maylene looked hurt and Brian looked ready to say something, but was interrupted by Chris's voice coming out of the loudspeakers.

"Good day, campers! Meet me at the dock in five, you're going on a trip! And don't forget to bring a spare change of undies, this might get _exciting_!"

"I'd never been so glad for Chris's interruptions," Olivia muttered. "This was just getting _awkward_..."

Without looking away from his DS, River agreed, "Yeah, but this trip coupled with the Sharks disappearence gives me a bad feeling."

Precisely five minutes later, the Stinging Bees gathered at the dock, where Chris was waiting for them. Despite their suspicions, the team had been looking forward to the trip – until they saw the boats. There were three of them, and they looked like the sort of stuff Connor would've found exciting – which meant they were as safe as a sinking Titanic.

Upon seeing them, Laura proclaimed, "Only Kelly would get on one of those."

Phoebe turned to find her friend by her side – from which she had been missing for the better part of the morning.

"Laura, sweetie! Where have you been?"

"What do you mean? I've been here the whole time, silly!"

Chris cleared his throat pointedly. "Excuse me, I'm trying to do my job here, if you don't mind! Viewers don't tune in to hear _your_ chatter, you know?

"Now, these boats you see here are for you to go look for your favorite rivals, the Deadly Sharks. Their yacht got stranded somewhere, and we can't afford to go pick them up ourselves, so we thought you might! Anyway, in order to find them, you're gonna need these–"

He pulled a bunch of stuff out of nowhere and threw it at them. There were three maps and three compasses, several flashlights, and a few walkie-talkies.

"Your job's to go look for the Sharks, and bring them back. However, if they get here without your help, they win. Now go, I have a very important appointment!"

"And by important, he means 'a massage'," Olivia said.

At the confessional, Chris says, shocked, "How did she know?"

Mo jumped on one of the boats as soon as Chris had wrapped up his speech, and was surprised to see Laura joining him. She smiled in innocently at him, and he shrugged. Phoebe, meanwhile, was about to get on their boat when Laura winked at her.

"Oh, Pheebs, how about you go with Brian and Maylene?"

Phoebe nodded enthusiastically. "Of course!"

In the confessional, she says, "This will be a great opportunity to do some matchmaking! Laura is so considered."

As the three boats set off in different directions, the Deadly Sharks were in an unknown location, surrounded by palmtrees and large plants. They were sitting, Indian style, around a fire Chelsea had made out of the scattered pieces of their yacht. Their clothes were so torn they looked like rags, and their hair was a dirty mess. They looked more like savages than reality stars (except maybe for Jersey Shore's stars on a Sunday morning).

Aaron voice was creaky, not like his regular voice at all. "Guys, I don't think I can last any longer. I'm losing – my powers – I don't even find you girls attractive anymore!"

Dominic's eyes narrowed as he stared at the girls. They certainly weren't very attractive right now, what with those filthy clothes and all those scratches on their cheeks and down their arms. "That might not be entirely your fault," he declared.

"Dominic!" Kat said, horrified.

Jess glared at Dominic. "Tell your husband to watch his tongue."

"He's not my husband!"

"Yeah, my wife would have to be hotter."

Kat turned around at once. "Wait, _what_?"

Dominic shook his head. "Sorry, Kat. This whole Survivor thing makes me crabby. Reminds me of football practise – you smell, you sweat, and you're in constant danger of being kicked in the nuts."

"Oh yes, you definitely are at danger of that," Kat muttered darkly.

Everyone gasped, Kat herself included. Had she really just said that out loud? What was wrong with her?

Kelly stood up, yanking her hair. "What is happening to us? We're falling apart!"

Connor chewed on his fingernails. "This is just like this one movie based on a videogame based on a comic book based on a novel that I saw... Everyone was stuck on a deserted island with nothing to eat and no TV, and they went crazy and started killing each other!"

The only sound that could be heard for a while was that of the cicadas.

"I just wanna say, if you kill me, please don't take advantage of me," Aaron finally said. "I know it's a lot to ask, what with me being so irresistably sexy and all, but please respect my body."

Chelsea rolled her eyes. "We'll try to keep our hands to ourselves."

"See? We're going insane! We need to get back to camp!"

"Thank you, Kelly. I couldn't have hoped for a better introduction myself," a voice said.

Chris emerged from a bush, looking as immaculate as ever. For the first time since they'd entered the competition, the campers were honestly glad to see him.

Dominic was on his feet at once. "Chris! Finally! We thought you'd never come!"

"Oh, you think I came to get you? That's adorable!" He cackled. "But I'm afraid I have more important things to do than saving teenagers from possibly mortal danger. Like hosting this show, for instance.

"And speaking of the show, do you remember you're on it? 'Cause you are. And there's a challenge going on."

"Are you seriously going to make us compete in this state?" Jess asked in disbelief. "Asshole," she added through gritted teeth.

"Um, duh? _You_ signed the contracts, not me. Anyway, like I was saying, right now you're in the middle of a little challenge I like to call _Hide and Seek_–"

Kelly clapped her hands. "Ooh, I love that game!"

"Stop interrupting me! Sheesh! As I was saying... Right now, the Stinging Bees are headed this way, and if you don't hurry, they'll catch up with you and tonight one of you will say goodbye... for good!"

Everyone covered their mouths with their hands. They didn't want to die!

"If you don't want that, I suggest you escape and try to get yourselves to camp before they do."

Kat raised her hand. "Um, Chris? Isn't that practically the same challenge as the first one?"

"No it's not! It's a completely different challenge, OK? Now move!"

Connor smirked. Using cold ashes from the bonfire, he drew two lines across his face. "Don't worry, guys. We'll be ready when they get here."

Meanwhile, somewhere in Lake Wawanakwa, a boat rowed in solitude, framed by the trees that cast their thin shadows from the shore.

"We've inspected the entire West coast of the island, and we got nothing. Over," Phoebe announced over the walkie talkie. She turned it on again after she remembered something. "Oh, this is Pheebs, BTW. Over. That means _by the way_. Over."

"You done there?" Brian asked her.

Phoebe's goofy smile turned tense. She'd hoped her silly sense of humor would help lift the mood, but so far it had only served to annoy Brian. Maylene didn't seem to be in the mood to pay either of them any attention.

Olivia's voice came from the walkie-talkie just as the silence began to grow uncomfortable. "Hey, Pheebs, Liv here! Oh, and River of course! Well, not _of course_, I mean, he is here but it's not like we – he's always wherever I am. I mean, not _always_, just–"

There was a rustle, and afterwards it was River that said, "We found the damn yacht."

They could hear Olivia's protests in the background, and River saying, "Look, I know you miss your Twitter and updating your Facebook status every five seconds to let the world what you're eating and thinking and how hot Edward looks with his sparkly skin, but this isn't for you to chit chat with your little friends–"

That seemed to drive Brian to the edge. Siezing the walkie talkie from Phoebe's hands, he snapped, "Yo, dorks, would you stop your lover's quarrels for a second and tell us where the hell we're supposed to go already?"

They could practically hear Olivia's blushing in her voice. "Brian, we are not –lovers– or anything of the sort–"

"You're making it worse," River said. "And of course we aren't anything, since I'm not _Mo_–"

"River! Shut _up_!"

This time it was Maylene who grabbed the walkie talkie and howled, "Both of you shut – the hell – up! Now listen to me, you're going to stop fighting this instant and tell us where you found the stupid yacht!"

There was a pause in the transmission, interrupted only by the sound of seagulls and somebody clearing their throat, and then Olivia and River said together, "Sorry, Maylene."

"That's OK, dears."

Brian yelled over Maylene's shoulder, "No it's not. Tell us where the yacht's at!"

River's sigh was loud enough to crackle over the transmission. "It's on the opposite side of the island, you'll know when you get there. Just paddle North."

"See you two idiots there. _Over_!"

Once that was taken care of, Brian tossed the walkie talkie back to Phoebe and went to paddling. Maylene watched him with a scowl before she said,

"How can you be so – so _rude_?"

"It's easy, you'll get used to it. All you have to do is realize everyone around you's a moron."

Maylene's scowl darkened. "No, I didn't mean _how_– Never mind."

Phoebe says in the confessional, "I can't believe how great this is going! Maylene is so going to be the new Mrs... Brian... Something... And they'll have lots of bossy, rude, bald babies! I can't wait 'til they call me Auntie Phoebe!"

Elsewhere, as they travelled across the Eastern side of the island, Laura was telling Mo, "I don't think I've ever been to the other side of the island. I wonder how they got there in the first place..."

Mo said darkly, "Sounds like Chris's doing."

"So... Phoebe told me what happened with Maylene."

Laura says in the confessional, "OK, so I lied to the guy. Sue me. It's not like he's never been lied to before, I mean, whoever told him that mohawk was anything other than ridiculous, was either lying or colour-blind."

"And anyway, I just wanted you to know no one's mad at you or anything. I mean, besides Maylene, but she's always mad at everybody. And in any case, just between you and me, it's not like she thinks very highly of you either."

Laura continued paddling, looking ahead, silently waiting. Finally Mo took the bait and asked her, "What do you mean?"

Smirking to herself, Laura was careful to appear embarrassed. "Oops. Forget I ever said that, that wasn't nice of me at all!"

"Never mind that." Mo met her eyes for the first time since they'd got on the boat. "Tell me what she said."

"Well OK, but just because I like you and I don't think you deserved that." She paused to build up the sense of suspense. "So last night, we were in our room with Liv and Pheebs and the subject of you came up, and, well – I feel terrible telling you this – Maylene said you were under Brian's foot."

"_What_?"

His reaction was just as she had expected. His grip on his paddle tightened, his knuckles white from the effort, but it was his eyes – the way they widened and just stared at her so incredulously that told her she'd done her job right.

She sighed ever so dramatically. "I know, it was totally mean and uncalled for, but you know how she favors Brian."

His brows furrowed, he looked away from her and into the depths of the lake, as if he wanted to drown somebody in its waters. Laura was very good at this game they called manipulating: she knew what to say and how to say it, but she also knew when she should stay quiet and let the pawn do the thinking. Now was one of those times.

So they paddled in silence.

The Bees met up at the very tip of the island, where the Sharks' yacht had met its end at the figurative hands of some very literal and very sharp grey rocks. The place was completely different from camp Wawanakwa and its adjacent areas: it was colourful, tropical even, all vivid green from the palmtrees and rainbow hues from the big flowers.

As an artist, Mo found it all quite beautiful. As a friend of one of the people who had been on that yacht, he couldn't help but feeling a lump in his throat at the sight of the catastrophe. But, as his teammates had all agreed: they were alive. If he didn't believe Chris, all he needed to do was look at the footprints, and the ashes, and the stray stands of hair.

Beneath a tree, River was keeping an eye on Mo, who was lurking around the yacht. He and Olivia had been the first to arrive, and had been resting there after they'd gotten tired of exploring. He'd taken his DS a while ago, but Olivia had been resting her head on his shoulder for a while. She'd never done that before, and at first he'd thought she'd fallen asleep and had even turned off the sounds of his DS so as not to wake her, but she had shifted just now. He then began to suspect she'd been watching Mo the whole time. He had the sudden urge to shake her off.

Instead he asked her, "Don't you wanna go comfort Mo?"

This time she really did shift, but it was only to stretch a little and yawn pointedly.

"Not really, no."

He went back to playing feeling slightly pleased with himself and wanting to smirk triumphantly at Mo for no particular reason, when suddenly Olivia shoved him and he nearly fell, precious DS and all.

"I know what your problem is! You ass! You're mad at Mo because he was mean to Maylene!"

She got up, shoved him again (this time she did succeed in making him fall), and walked away.

And River landed on his back, pressing his most beloved possession to his heart, staring at the sky and wondering what the hell had gotten on that woman's mind now.

"Maybe I should really just shut up," he says in the confessional.

Most of their teammates were still too busy exploring their surroundings to have noticed what had just happened, but Phoebe didn't have a sixth sense – a matchmaking sense – for nothing. She immediately pulled Laura's shirt and whispered what she'd just seen in her ear. She never noticed how Laura smiled and narrowed her eyes as she did so.

Or at least she was smiling until something shot past right next to her cheek. Laura brought her fingers to her face and when she withdrew them, she saw red.

"Hey guys–"

But just as she began to say those words, a rustle was heard, and then seven arrows pierced the air, and then there wasn't any time to say anything. There was plenty of noise, however. There were shrieks, a couple of names were called out (not hers, never hers), a few people fell or perhaps threw themselves on the floor.

Afterwards there was only silence.

"Is everyone OK?" Brian called.

It seemed everyone was. River's DS was unharmed. Olivia had ducked behind a rock. Phoebe and Laura had clung to each other and survived. Mo had landed facefirst on the ground.

Only Maylene didn't answer.

The team gathered around her as Brian helped her up, surveying the damage. She had an arrow stuck in her vest, and when she removed it it left a liver-coloured spot over her heart.

"Your blood smells suspiciously of ketchup," Brian commented. He put a finger through the hole in her vest and brought it to his lips. "Whoa! Best thing I've had in _days_. My guess is that you'll live."

Maylene blushed a colour that put the ketchup to shame and mumbled a thanks. Brian nodded for a moment before his eyes widened in shock and he stared at her.

"Wait, what? _Thanks_? No '_Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I needed a big strong man to come and save me and tell me my blood was actually ketchup, I could have figured that out myself_?'" He blinked and pressed his palm to her forehead, which only caused her to flush all the more. "Are you sure you're feeling all right?"

"We were just attacked by a completely random rain of arrows that leave ketchup stains," Olivia said dryly. "Even I'm shocked by how lame this is."

Mo bit his lip. "You don't think those – those dudes attacked the Sharks, do you?"

"No," Brian said after a tense pause. "They must have left as soon as Chris told them about the challenge."

"Shouldn't we get started then?"

"Yeah, Maylene, but I wouldn't be too worried. They don't have our compasses and maps and, more importantly, guys – they're not us."

"Aww! Who knew Brian could be such a softie?" Phoebe cooed. "Team hug!"

"I am _not_ a softie." Brian says in the confessional. He stares at the camera in a threatening manner. "I hate team hugs. And rainbows! And puppies! And every squishy, fluffy, cute little thing in this world! Makes me wanna crush it, okay?"

The Bees had been walking for what felt like hours, without noticing any visible changes in their surroundings. There were no signs of the missing teams anywhere, no footprints or marks, nothing. It was as if they'd vanished.

Maylene had decided to split the team in two, and River was currently stuck with her, Brian, and Olivia. He was beginning to think the latter had a concussion after fourty minutes had passed without her uttering a single word when, out of nowhere, she said,

"Does nobody think it's odd that _plastic arrows_ randomly attacked us?"

"The ketchup was odd," Brian agreed.

Leave it to resident weirdo Brian to find the least suspicious thing odd. River rolled his eyes. He also wondered how on earth he'd wound up stuck at the end of the line with an unpleasant Olivia.

Brian, of course, was leading the way next to Maylene. He craned his neck to glance at Olivia and tell her, "I still have May's arrow if you wanna take a look at it."

"Ew, no thanks."

"I didn't actually bleed, you know. And what are you, six?"

And River had no idea what possessed him to raise his hand like an actual six-year-old and say, in a high-pitched-voice, "I wanna take a look, Brian."

Everyone stared at him in surprise. Well, Olivia looked at him in outrage, but then again she always did.

Brian handed him the arrow (Olivia tried to sieze it). River smirked at Olivia, who turned her back on him, mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like "that's so gross."

After a while he declared, "Hey, guys, remember that acting challenge? I don't know if you recall that at one point, Mo and I had arrows shot at us, but I do. And I think those are these arrows."

Brian and Maylene stopped dead on their tracks.

"Are you sure, River?"

"Well, for one, Maylene, they were _freaking bright pink_," he answered dryly. "And for another, it says 'for the acting challenge' right here."

"Does that mean the Sharks didn't shoot them then?" Maylene asked. "But who did then?"

"The same person who's helping them cover their tracks?" Brian grumbled. "Damn bastards."

"Doesn't sound like Chris," Olivia said. "Not like him to put extra work into his job."

There was a rustle in the leaves, and before they had time to react, they were being pinned to the ground. They tried to fight back, but whatever force was holding their bodies down, it was strong and unyielding. They tasted dirt in their mouths.

Brian kicked and spat. Olivia swore. Maylene threatened them. River protected his DS.

Several pairs of hands tied their wrists and ankles, and suddenly they were being pulled up and forced to sit back to back and were being tied together. When they looked at their captors, they didn't recognize them at first.

For one, there was paint on their faces, ash-grey and blood-red strokes creating a mask, their hair a tangled mane. This was what had become of the Sharks.

"What the hell," Brian hissed at last, once he'd recovered from the initial shock, "are you guys doing."

"It's like Planet of the Apes all over again," River said. "Except I can honestly say Planet of the Apes was so bad it was good, whereas this... this is just bad."

One of the Sharks, the tallest one, the one that they recognized as Dominic, cleared his throat and said, "Chelsea."

And the girl's eyes gleamed as she responded with, "Got it, Boss."

And River just would _not_ shut up, the poor, stoic little guy. "_Boss_? Just how many movie genres are you mixing up here?"

Chelsea took out her lighter, flicked it on, pressed it close to River's DS.

River squealed like a girl. "W-When did you take that?"

Chelsea smirked in response.

Dominic sat in front of them. "Chelsea's very talented," he said. "Now, you four should tell us where the others are, you know."

"Never!" Maylene screamed.

The Sharks exchanged amused glances. Dominic leaned in.

"I'll have your friend's location, or your DS's entrails," he said, his voice suddenly serious. River gulped. "What will it be?"

Chelsea flicked her lighter on and off, on and off, on and off...

"They followed the river!" Olivia revealed. She cast her eyes down and added, more quietly, "Please don't break his DS, he loves that stupid thing."

"Very well," Dominic conceded. "Chelsea."

She threw the DS at River. It landed soundly on his stomach, but he managed to catch it with his hands before it fell.

Dominic then instructed Kelly and Connor to go get the rest of the Bees. As the two left, armed with what seemed to be hand-made nets and spears, Brian stared at their backs with a scowl.

"You're not even supposed to catch us, you assh–" Brian began to say, but was interrupted by Kat.

"Don't talk to him like that!"

None of those present had ever seen her this angry, and were aghast. Chelsea dropped her lighter, and picked it up hastily.

"He has a good reason to what he's doing," Kat explained, looking away.

"Oh, so you mean he's not just tying us up for the hell of it?" Olivia said sarcastically. "I feel so relieved. Surely this is exactly what a sane, mature person would do!"

Maylene sighed. "I actually agree with Olivia here."

"If you Bees weren't a bunch of unreasonable morons, we wouldn't have to tie you up to get you to listen in the first place!" Chelsea argued feverishly. "Besides, you were coming to get us, what were we supposed to do?"

"Coming to get you?" Maylene repated, her nose up in the air. "Well excuse me, but I believe it was us who so graciously gave you our reward–"

"Why you bi–"

Chelsea had to be restrained by Aaron then.

By the time Phoebe, Mo and Laura got there escorted by Connor and Kelly, the Sharks and the Bees were engaged in a shouting match of epic proportions. Aaron was the only thing keeping Chelsea from ripping Maylene to shreds, Brian and Dominic were yelling at each other at the top of their lungs, Kat was pointing her finger at Olivia and saying something or other, Olivia was trying desperately to untie herself, Jess was cursing at everybody, and River was playing on his DS.

Upon seeing them, Aaron smiled in relief. "Guys! You gotta help me!" He grimaced when Chelsea elbowed him in the ribs to try to get him to let go of her. "Please!"

"It's like Halloween at a candy store," Kelly breathed.

"What would Dominic do?" Connor said. Dominic was currently engaged in grabbing Brian's tee and shaking the boy repeatedly. "Um..."

Phoebe, who was tied to her teammates but still able to walk and talk, said, "Perhaps you could let me handle this?"

Connor and Kelly turned to her, eyes big and pleading. "Could you?"

"Of course!" She turned to the crowd, took a deep breath. "SHUT UP!"

Connor and Kelly trembled. So did everyone else. It did, however, get the proper results.

"Thanks, guys!" Phoebe smiled. "Now could you please tell us what's going on? You kinda scared Connor and Kelly, you know."

"I think you did that, psycho," Jess says in the confessional.

"Er–"

"Great, Dominic, you scared them!" Kat said, arms crossed, as if she hadn't started the screaming herself.

"Fine, I'm sorry. And I'm sorry for kidnapping you, Bees. But it was for a good reason, I promise."

Olivia snorted.

"A-Anyway, thing is, when our yacht crashed, for a while there were no cameras or something of the sort, or at least that's what we were told, and... Somebody visited us.

"I know it seems unlikely, and maybe you won't believe us, but it's true. And you can look anywhere you want, there are no cameras seeing this right now. This is between us."

He was telling the truth. As the Bees looked around, they noticed the cameras had been covered with leaves.

Having regained their attention, Dominic went on. "So this guy that came, he had a hood on and we couldn't see his face. He didn't say much, he just left a message. This is it."

He showed them a piece of paper that had been folded neatly. It said, in black, pixelated letters, 'The cake is a lie.'

"The cake is a lie?" Brian scowled. "What the hell?"

"At first we thought it was a clue for a challenge or something," Jess said. "Then when Chris came over and he didn't say anything, we realized that couldn't be it. We think someone from outside the competition is trying to tell us something."

"It'd explain those plastic arrows that came out of nowhere," Mo pointed out. Jess beamed at him, glad that someone in the Bees believed them.

"Are you sure none of you have any idea what it means?" River asked the Sharks.

Everyone stared at him curiously, so he began to explain.

"You know, 'the cake is a lie' is when a character in a TV show or whatever is promised something – say, cake – but afterwards it's revealed that whatever he was promised wasn't true. The cake was a lie."

Dominic began to untie them. As his teammates followed his example (some a little reluctantly, like Chelsea; others all too gladly, like Jess, who ran to untie Mo), Maylene wondered,

"What could that mean to us?"

Brian stretched. "More importantly, what are we going to do about the challenge?"

There was a pause as they all stared at each other tensely.

If the Sharks won, a Bee would leave.

If the Bees won, a Shark would leave.

It seemed unfair either way.

"What if none of us show up?" Phoebe said suddenly.

Everyone turned to stare at her.

"I mean, that way, no one has to leave, right?"

"We could stay here and camp," Kelly said, clapping her hands. "That could be totally fun!"

"And dangerous," Connor added. "I'm in!"

"Wait, camping here is too dangerous, guys," Dominic began.

"Awww, Dominic, come on, man!" Aaron said. "Kaaaat!"

"I guess it could be fun," Kat said.

"Fine, but we should go to the beach," Dominic sighed, rubbing his head. He could feel a headache coming.

Maylene watched the scene with a sense of envy. If only her team could get along half as well as the Sharks did!

Suddenly she felt the weight of a hand in her shoulder, the only indication she got of Brian's presence.

"What?" she asked, closing her eyes.

"Mo's sorry. He won't tell you, 'cause he's Italian and he's proud and he's male and you know what a bunch of idiots we are, but he is. A lot. So forgive him. I know he respects you."

"All right."

Meanwhile, Laura waited until everyone was asleep on the beach to use the confession booth. She waited, and waited, and waited, but Topher never showed up. Finally she grabbed the camera to look at the recordings, like she always did. At the beginning there was one of Topher.

It surprised her to see his face on the screen, see the dark circles beneath his eyes, hear the tone in his voice when he said, "Sorry, doll, I'm out." He rubbed his eyes, as if he were very tired. Laura did not doubt he was. "Before I leave, though, there's something you should know. Everything they told you, it's all a lie."

That was all.

Except it wasn't. Laura had worked really hard to get to this point. She had worked really hard to get Mo to hate Maylene, to get Jess's trust, to set the Shark's cabin on fire, to accomplish so many things... so what if the Sharks had decided to be friendly for now?

She could turn that around in a second.

And that was all.

**Next**: "All Your Base Are Belong to Us"


End file.
